eternally doomed

I really dont know. Objectively a bigoted or racist remark will definently outweigh all good qualities however impressive they might be although She can be nice in certain ways. However, i really cant understand why i cannot detach myself from those confusing feelings

I did not make a consious decision to get tied up emotionally. I can understand why it happened or else i wouldnt have asked for advice.

I have made her aware of it. She insisted that the remark has nothing to do with me and will not affect the way she treats me. The issue now is not whether i should move in with her, it's whether i should severe ties with her completely before things get more complicated. Part of me still cant understand why i am capable of forming an emotional connection with her in just three days

I am insulting my intelligence with what i've done in the last week or so. My brain had been infested with suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember and this is probably the last thing i should be doing. My female housemate in a house of two males and one female gave me nothing but confusion in the last week or so. On one day (my second or third day in the house) she was very nice to me and asked me to move into another place with her. She also said that she liked me a lot. She also disclosed her worst secrets to me. However, on another day she made stereotypical remarks that can be construed as pigheaded and racist. I do like her until that very moment (but not on a sexual or romantice level). If a random stranger made that kind of remark to me, i wouldnt have let them get away with it. However, i find it very difficult to severe ties with her although it is definently the best option. In a way, i loath her as much as i like her in a way which is very stupid of me. I also took her bipolar disorder into acount which mean that her pigheaded remark is just an symptom of her illness(which i found difficult to believe in anyway). One of the biggest mistakes that i have made is that i have made a emotional connection with her that i can do without when she disclosed her personal issues to me. I really do not know what to do. I want to severe ties with her completely but i just cant

I am not dead yet because suicide is a process that requires meticulous planning . I cannot afford a failure because i dont want to be made an involuntary patient in a psychiatric ward or worse still end up physically disabled for the rest of my life. The latter will prevent me from making any subsequent suicide attempts without third party assitance.

I think i have worked out a fatal combination of medications after an exhaustive search on the internet. My plan is very close to execution stage. I have zoloft, prozac, aropax, luzox and a few different sleeping pills. I will mix them with pure vodka. I will definitely keep you updated on that. I even have a plan B should that fail. No aspect of my life is going to change anway. I will be continue to be unloved and i have to endure so much sufferings to achieve certain sucesses that really amount to nothing if i continue to be treated like some meaningless wild animal. For example, i dont any form of relationship with my family.Furthermore, I never had a girlfriend and never well. Which girl wants to be with me anyway. Thank you in advance for reading my post

For staters, i didnt ask anyone to talk me out of this. There is no need to perceive it as a failure on your part. Joy will always elude some people in this world and this is also something that many people from the west dont seem to understand. Institutionalized racism, genocides i can go on. However, i am in the middle of working out the fatal dosage of the medication that i have at the moment. Please wish me luck in that

Why not? People will be showing more care towards me if they will be adversely affected by that. I am not seeing any indications of that. what i've seen so far is indifference and apathy. Peope dont give enough toss about me to be adversely affected by my suicide. sad but true

I have none of the above. i dont have friends and i only have a family in name (which doesnt really count as a functioning family relationship). However, i have assembled enough medication that i can use when the time comes.

I'm sure the person that finds me will not be adversely affected. That person probably woulndnt have befriended me anyway if i am alive. It is ridiculous to call who kill themselves selfish. They are the selfish ones because they are usually indifferent to people that needs desperate help. I will be counting my days from now

I know all the bleak statistics on world poverty. I've studied it myself and i've been to those places myself. I've been i am aware that the world has more than enough food to feed everyone but 1 out 5 people has no santitation or adequate food.Iam aware that there is something known as the manslow hierachy of needs which indicates that someone will think about having enough to eat before thinking about relationships. The things that i dont understand is that everyone assumes that i know nothing. I am not the typical uneducated ignorant idiot and i do not appreciate being treated that way. I only have to say i didnt make this decision without taking these into account. anyway there is nothing more for me to say except that the end is near

I am not qualified to call myself a psychologist but i've heard of the flight fear syndrome. I am running away from things. Not resorting to the best action that the situation warrants is running away from things. There are circumstances that have only suicide as the only option and a refusal to accept it is a form of running away from reality rather than confronting it. There are certain solutions that I just cannot deviate from regardless of whether how harsh it might be. Unfortunately, i have reached a stage in which suicide is the only option and i do not think it is in my best interest to deviate from it as it is a form of my resufal to confront reality.

I've tried every option that you can imagine(medication, therapy etc).I even did my research on psychogical disorders and i have a psychology major as well. I know what is wrong with me and i do know what i should be doing to alleviate my depreesive symptoms. Application is easier said than done. What is my rush? I can anticipate more cathasthrophes. I stand no chance of getting a full time job in my current situations and i rather die than live in the limbo of not being able to work and not being able to study at same time. I have to give myself a time limit because all these are going to happen soon and i dont think i can forgive myself for not ending my life before the problems escalate. No one is going to be affected by this decision of mine. An animal corpose will receive more attention than mine,

You have no idea how many different approaches i've tried. I am not some retard who is only limited to only a few options. Do you think i enjoy making this decision? I've always been meticulous in my decisions and i wouldnt have made this decision until i am convinced that there is nothing more to try.

I've never been here before. It is not realistic to expect medications to alleviate any of my symptoms either