fizzled0ut Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Hey guys i am new to this forum. I have anyways been able to figure out what to do in different scenarios but ive never been involved in a triangle. Usually I try to stay away from that stuff. This time i couldnt help myself...So I met this girl randomly at her workplace and got her number not knowing that she had a boyfriend at the time. I give it the standard 3 day window of waiting before I call. We talk on the phone for a few hours and I find out that she's seeing someone that she has been on and off with for 3 years...3 must be the magical number or something...After the initial phone conversation i decide that i want to keep back and not interfere. We continue talking on and off for the next few weeks and all of the sudden i started getting drunk text msgs from her wanting to see me so we can hang out...we go out, get a few drinks, etc...i later find out she's been on break with her boyfriend. We keeping seeing each other and hanging out and geniunely begin to like this girl. She officially breaks up with her boyfriend. I also find out that she has been on several breaks with her ex and has dated a few guys in between. She says she feels nothing for her ex and laughs off every one of his attempts to get her back. She also said this was the first time that she didnt care that they had broken up....She even goes to his apt and takes all her stuff back out. Her ex is desparate to get her back. He is much older than she is and is looking to get married sometime in the future. She doesnt want this...I, being much closer to her age was ok what the fact that she didnt want anything like that... Her first point of breakdown came when her ex gave back all their stuff to her. She couldnt handle it and broke down. She was very depressed and she came over so I could comfort her. It seemed to have worked at the time. Another weeks goes by great...After we come back from a weekend getaway over the holidays i get txt msg saying she's trying to work things out with her ex...TOTAL SHOCK TO ME.... Seems that she cant get over the 3 years and the history that they had together. I dont thinks she knows what she wants...Baggage... Thoughts? Link to comment
spaulding18 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I've been there with the whole ex thing. My situation was similar, not exactly the same, but it involved and ex. My advice is to stay out of it. Don't let her drag you down, and let them keep up their inconsistent relationship. Its the whole thing that you should be with someone who really just wants to be with you. In my situation, mine was still talking to the ex even though I thought she wasn't, so that is something you have to avoid. It just gets to the point that you can't trust them because it seems like a game. Who is she going to want to be with today? Anyways good luck. Link to comment
joyce1412 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 i'm sorry, but she is using you. it's hard enough to date someone a few MONTHS after the end of a serious relationship, much less a few days or weeks. she's still hung up on him and there's simply nothing you can do about it. no matter how wonderful you are, she's going to be hung up on him. you're right, she has baggage. so let her deal with it, and back off. you can find someone else who won't use you to make herself feel better and make her ex jealous. Link to comment
fizzled0ut Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 i'm sorry, but she is using you. it's hard enough to date someone a few MONTHS after the end of a serious relationship, much less a few days or weeks. she's still hung up on him and there's simply nothing you can do about it. no matter how wonderful you are, she's going to be hung up on him. you're right, she has baggage. so let her deal with it, and back off. you can find someone else who won't use you to make herself feel better and make her ex jealous. i dont feel she was trying to make herself feel better or make her ex jealous. She just doesnt have any reason to do that...She said that their relationship has been on the rocks for the past 6 months or so now...i just didnt realize that she had this many issues... Link to comment
mikeca Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I saw this and could only think...one person posts in here all sad about breaking up...meanwhile someone is posting in the getting back together forum all excited again heh Link to comment
saltwatergirl Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I saw this and could only think...one person posts in here all sad about breaking up...meanwhile someone is posting in the getting back together forum all excited again heh I think its a progression that follows the subtopics in this forum. Posting niche going from "Breaking Up" to "Getting Back Together" to "Healing After BreakUp" Someone should investigate the pattern. Salt Link to comment
joyce1412 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 i dont feel she was trying to make herself feel better or make her ex jealous. She just doesnt have any reason to do that...She said that their relationship has been on the rocks for the past 6 months or so now...i just didnt realize that she had this many issues... i stick by my opinion. she's still wrapped up in this guy...she has EVERY reason to want to make him jealous. Link to comment
eosesd Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 I know uit's been a few months - just curious. Did you ever hear again from her and did she break up with him again? Did she come back looking to hook up with you again? I'm going through the exact same scenario right now and I'd love to see into the future.... Link to comment
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