need advice very confused

[stubborn99]

My girlfriend and I broke up in March but we always stayed in touch. We talk on the phone everynite and it goes okay. But we never really see each other and we fight a lot about when I talk about us begin back together. I told her i would change and be her friend and in the future i would ask her back out and see if we could work things out.

 

But we never see each other and she asked me to go to her fourth of july party tonight but i told her i couldnt go. But we talk just about everynight on the phone and she says only to be friends. But she tells me she is over me and that she doesn't care and she tells me to go out with other people. But when i told her i could go out with this girl she gets really mad and tells me what are you trying to do make me jealous cause it doesnt get me jealous it gets me angry.

 

We really got into a fight about the hole going back out thing she doesn't want to talk about it and she called me some few choice words and that im a jerk and stuff and that i havn't changed and she is like you say you will change and you always go back and do the things you say you won't do.

 

We were in such a big fight she kept hanging up on me and this is 2 nights ago. I texted her because she would pick up and hang up i texted her this you know what because i have to make a choice if im going to college out of state i told her if you don't care for me anymore im just going to be done with it and not try. Cause i have a life that i want to live and it can't be focused around you and i called after that and she picked up. I told her i need to make descisions and i want you in my life and stuff and she listened.

 

In the morning she called me but i was sleeping so i missed it but called her back and prior to this because of all the fights she didn't want me to go to her fourth of july party she asked me if i wanted to go but i told her because she said she didn't want me there prior i made other plans. Tell me what this all means please there is more and if you need to know more write it in the posts .. But she calls me and I ask her to call me and i don't know ... HELP but she always says she doesn't like me anymore she is over me she doesn't want to be my friend but she always comes back and when i told her i was going to be done with all of it she came around and answered her phone because she knew i was not joking ...

[melrich]

I'm not surprised you are confused. I'm pretty confused after reading your post. The best I can make out from what you are saying is that you broke up with her, still speak to her every day, this results in a lot of fights because you want more than friends, she jsut wants friends but gets upset when you mention other girls.

 

Stop talking to her.

 

Seriously, what are you achieving? Just stop talking to her. If she has any romantic feelings for you she will eventually contact you. But for now just stop it.

[Phoenix69]

NC is the best way to go in this situation. How can she miss something that never goes away? And is still at her beckoned call whenever she wants you? Dude, get a hold of yourself, step back and leave her to it.

As melrich says, if she wants you back in a romantic way, she will definitely call you! See we females are funny creatures. Once that thing is no longer readily available to us (for whatever reason) we tend to stress out and try and make things work again (For better or worse, you decide )

[nikkers04]

Very Well Put Phoenix. Us girls...want what we cant' have. If you start ignoring her calls either A you will figure out she isn't the one and there is someone better who wants to be with you or B she will come around and she will be the one begging for you to come back.

 

The time apart and not being able to talk to the person is very, very hard but you can and will learn alot about yourself with that time. Spend time on you and stop worrying so much about her. Things work out the way they are suppose to!

[mikeca]

^ more inspiration for me to keep NC thanks ladies

[iceman85]

stubborn the situation sounds alot like me. Me and my ex broke up in late May and we still maintained contact at first every day, then like every few days. Things were better after the few days of not talking. She would always say she wasnt sure about things or she just wanted to be friends for now, that her feelings were gone when we talked everyday.

 

When I started to not talk to her as much she started to be more levelheaded I think and eventually sent me text messages saying how sorry she was for how everything happened and that now that the other relationship was over she wanted to see about us. Of course that got me back in contact virtually everyday and I had one meeting and now things have stalled out again.

 

Its a very touch and go situation with both of us. I think your ex isnt sure what she wants. Is she with someone else? I agree with everyone here when then say to go NC. It is really really really hard but its what you have to do.

 

When we are there still or available when they want they cant feel us out of their life totally. They need to feel that in order to be able to more clearly think about things. I'm glad the ladies here chimed in with their take as its really informative.

 

My ex was the same way, asked if I had gotten over her, if i was with someone else, when I told her there was someone interesting she said "and you got mad at me for how I went to someone else, look whos talking" I didnt let that blow up but just said it was totally different. She then said she hoped it worked out for me, but then a mutual friend of ours told me she said that it was good I had a life but how could I get over her like that, it must mean I didnt love her.

 

So its really confusing and it really isnt great to feel confused, I know. Do the NC, she needs to know that your not just gonna be there. Do stuff you enjoy, force yourself to even though its hard. Go on some dates, that really helps.