dpressedone89 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Lately i feel like im falling apart. i cant stand my girlfriend. she threatens to kill herself if i ever leave her,which if you know my situation is the worst thing in the world for me to hear.she cheats on me and lies to me and breaks her promises. i hate her with all my heart ubt 3 of my best friends have killed themselves and everytime it was because of me.she knows this and yet she still threatens me like that. I am working 2 full time jobs and being treated equal to dirt at both of them. I just want to die and have it all go away. but in good news im back in contact with my best friend. bad news is she is doing worse than i am. I love her with all my heart and her pain is my pain too. today my boss said i was a "lazy useless piece of____ pile of garbage who is afraid of work" despite a 13 hour day today. i finally got a car but i have no liscence. im working on it though if all goes well ill get it in august. There is just one thing i want in this life, just one single thing i want and i doubt ill ever have it, no matter how much i try i dont know what to do Link to comment
Tigris Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Ok. First of all people don't threaten to commit suicide they just go ahead and do it. She is responsible for her own actions not you! If you're not happy in the relationship then I suggest you finish with your gf. She's blackmailing you and that is wrong. She's also using your past experiences to frighten and manipulate you. Once you're apart your life will start to get better. Go NC with her! Secondly, if you haven't already done so I suggest you go and see a counsellor to talk about the deaths of your friends. You will not get over the feelings of guilt until you get help. PM me if you want to talk. Take care of yourself. Link to comment
mba1 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 tigris is right .... in short it's called emotional blackmail. take care of yourself first and if you feel compelled direct her on where to find help or inform someone who will intervene. you are too young for all this... Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i know she is manipulating me but im still afriad of what she might do.ive seen a counselor but it didnt help. i am so desperate right now i dont know what to do. Link to comment
mba1 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 you need to be strong and lay down the facts with this girl... DO NOT let her manipulate you and if she carries on with her plan than that is her issue not your's. just tell her that she is placing a tremendous amount of grief and pressure on you and that if she wants to remain in your life then she needs to stop with her psychotic antics PERIOD !!! as for your jobs... you are still young and there are thousands of other jobs you can do - so start applying. this problem is relatively easy. Link to comment
supersonic74 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I'm with the others..just leave her...like you said she is cheatin and lies to you and breaks her promises everytime..that means she's only thinkin about herself...and the fact that she's emtional blackmailing and using your past experience to her advantage is so wrong...it's hard to make such a discision..but you gotta think of yourself...you seem like a nice person..so you don't deserve this treatment from her..if she's trying to commit suicide ..(honesty I doubt that maybe it's one of those lies she is tellin you)...don't feel responsible for her action..as she does it on her own..so like I said ..just leave her. a friend allways said to me..treat the person the way that he/she is doing to you. Link to comment
Tigris Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 If you know her parents go and see them and tell them that the relationship isn't working and that she's threatening to kill herself if you leave her. I'm sure she'll have too much hassle from them to find time to do it. Plus you've been responsible by telling them. Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i tried breaking up with her and she just said no. she said no we're not broken up. she offered me a deal she said" if i try to make things work with her and she thinks it doesnt work then she'kk ket me go". this has been going on for 8 of 10 months of our relationship what should i do? Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi dpressedone, The primary problem is you, not her. You are used to these feelings you express, your brain makes you act accordingly, after all, it has evolved for millions of years to adapt. Depression is a mental pain caused by an imbalance between expectations and ability. To make it go away, one either has to improve ones ability or change ones expectations. In other words, to avoid depression, one ought to balance ability and expectations. Thus, as a first step, if you want to get better you have to let her go and not get involved with people like her again. Look at yourself, at the balance. Given effort, and stronger people in you life, you will get better. Link to comment
Tigris Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Maybe it's time to just go NC? That way she'll get used to the idea you're not around anymore. Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 ok well we broke up, i was trying no contact but she was having no part of it shes called me 3 times texted me and showed up at my job, she says she wants to be freidns but to be safe im going to avoid her until im sure i wont get back with her. now shes playing this "im helpless without you " card. she said her cousins friend came over and punched her breaking her jaw. i dont believe it because she lies like that all the time but i cant help be concerned. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 ok well we broke up, i was trying no contact but she was having no part of it shes called me 3 times texted me and showed up at my job, she says she wants to be freidns but to be safe im going to avoid her until im sure i wont get back with her. now shes playing this "im helpless without you " card. she said her cousins friend came over and punched her breaking her jaw. i dont believe it because she lies like that all the time but i cant help be concerned. Smart of you!, she just tries to corner you. NC is it!. I am proud of you. Link to comment
FoxLocke Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Yes, she is definitely blackmailing you. From what you have described depressed one she doens't sound suicidal at all. In fact she seems selfish and self absorbed. She wants you in her life, but she likes to defecate(for lack of a better term) on you too. She knows that suicide has been a big thing in your life and that is her way to keep you bound. You should break all ties with her. It is the only way you will start to get some of yourself back. In fact, I don't think you should even be in a committed intimate relationship. It is too much for you to handle right now. Work on getting yourself in order. Good luck! Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 to be honest i had gotten myself in order until this relationship now im out of order again Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 to be honest i had gotten myself in order until this relationship now im out of order again Sorry buddy. You need a stable woman. You are not a councilor or therapist. Next time, some girl or friend want's to dump their crap on you, send them to therapy. We always will be here for you. Link to comment
supersonic74 Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 yeah ..It just takes some time ...you deserve better...theire is more beauty in life..you don't always need the ugly part of it. Link to comment
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