Being on top.

[Nymphonia]

Hi,

 

I'm getting better and more confident with sex as time goes on but I still have real problems with being on top. I find it hard to establish a rhythm and I don't think I go hard/fast enough.. guys always seem to want to change position after a while when I go on top.. so I really want to improve on this.

 

Any tips? Thanks x

[Tigris]

Welcome to enotalone.

 

When you say on top do you sit vertical or are you kneeling with your hands near their heads?

 

I could never sit vertical because it hurt my knees and hips too much so I would go on 'all fours'. Sometimes I could orgasm that way.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I help my partner out by putting my hands on her hips to help guide and set the rhythm that works.

 

It also helps for the guy to raise his hips.

[TheRedQueen]

Doing lunges and/or squats would help you establish stronger quadricep and hamstring muscles. Stretching ,yoga, and dance I also find help in improving performance in the sexual arena. Also when being on top, the angle in which you mount your boyfriend is of the utmost importance. Also try being on top with your boyfriend sitting up at a 45 degree angle(for comfort he could be propped on a pillow or two). Good luck in your sexplorations!

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree with TheRed Queen. Practice, practice, practice...strengthen your legs and just keep trying different on-top positions.

 

(And red - i love your jean rostand quote!!)

[TheRedQueen]

Yes Ms. T, practice does make perfect

[Cardinal]

You could try a reverse cowgirl if you are having trouble with positions where you are facing him. That way you would have your feet planted on the ground and establish whatever rhythm you want to.

 

You could try it on the bed, floor or sofa (sofa maybe best).

 

As long as you can stay in, you can bounce and move faster if you want. That may be the reason the guys often change position on you. Lack of in and out movement means lack of stimulation for him.

 

Just a thought.

[Upsetwifeofone]

OK, I find that hubby sitting in the chair and me being on top means I can grab the back of the chair, (with bb's in hub's face ) really works. You can get a good rhythm by pulling up and down.

 

I wasn't confident for many years, but lets just say, with me on top means hubby is at my mercy and I can use my feminine charm to control his desires lol.

[Day_Walker]

I think you have find what works, go through the different positions, angles, bouncing, rocking or whatever the key is to find out what works.

[mushroom1129]

i agree with tigris, i 99% of the time get an orgasm when i'm on top (all fours) because being straight up is a killer for the legs!

and go at your OWN pace. dont worry about him, when you worry you wind up doing things wrong sometimes. i've found that if i go at my own pace then bf is feeling good lol. so slow or fast, whatever gets you going is what you need to do

[Upsetwifeofone]

Yup hunnie, the chair really works

[OceanEyes]

I've always found that being on top 'gets a man there' too quickly. In other words, I usually can't stay up there for long or it's all over.

 

Something I've found that every man likes:

 

If you can, don't go on your knees and lay against his chest - most of the time, this isn't stimulative enough for him and he may go a bit soft or want to change positions.

 

Stay on YOUR FEET with your knees bent, hands resting against his chest. He'll get an incredible view, and you'll have a lot of control. If and when he's 'getting close', turn around and face away from him (reverse cowgirl). Eventually, with enough practice, he'll change positions NOT because he isn't stimulated enough, but because he can't handle how incredible it is. Honestly - perfect this 'move' and he'll thank you for it!

 

I'm pretty athletic, so staying on my feet and using my leg muscles is never a problem. But, I can understand how uncomfortable it may be for other women. It's well worth his reaction and the amount of control you'll have - trust me.

[BetterKarma]

So your actually still on him but yet, not on your knees? I cant seem to picutre how to do that in my head.

 

Think in terms of squatting.

[Jessy]

I totally agree with the chair sex... especially a computer chair; then you have movement as well. You can also lean the chair against a bed or wall for stability if needed.

[Upsetwifeofone]

Hey Jessy, think I'll have to try the computer chair Thanks hun!

[OceanEyes]

So your actually still on him but yet, not on your knees? I cant seem to picutre how to do that in my head.

 

Lotsa Love

Rain Gate

 

LOL - sorry if I didn't 'paint' the picture I was intending to.

 

Yes, think in terms of 'squatting' - I guess I didn't actually type that word because I find it hilariously unattractive.

 

Get him to hold your hands against his chest or support your back with his hands around your waist or on the top of your thighs (at first).

 

After a while, you'll get so used to it that you won't need extra support.

 

I've found that this has been THE most attractive and stimulating position for the men I've been with. Of course not every man is the same, but I think it's well worth a try.