Being friends

[sadk]

Just wanted to say this from personal experience.

 

I had a gf in Montreal, my second to last relationship. I'm staying with her for the weekend and we are really good friends. We lived together for four years, it just didn't work out. I found myself in love with someone else and we split. There were a few months where it was tough for her, but since then, we have been very supportive of each other. We also have a child together, but it goes beyond that. We both support each other in our other relattionships too.

 

So, it is possible to be friends with an ex. I asked her one day why she thought we could be such good friends whereas some exes can't. She said it's because neither of us want anything more from each other. I think that's a big part of it, but I think there's more to it.

 

I think I could be good friends with an ex I still loved, or who still loved me. In fact, I think this Montreal ex probably still loves me in a way. I believe it's just a matter of both parties finding a way of being completely honest with themselves and each other. When you've been with someone any length of time, you know when they're being honest. I think if my most recent ex were to be open with me, we'd find our natural level. I also think sometimes one party in a relationship damages the trust and that makes it hard for one party to BE open and honest. I'm repairing that trust now by not being an a-hole anymore and that should make a difference over time. Then we will either repair the rift in our love or become friends. We'll see.

 

Sean

[Belle]

Good post. I have only really remained friends with the former love of my life. Even though it took me a long time to get over him, there was still a lot of mutual respect and love for each other. Not the kind it was before for me, but I still cared about how he was doing. I knew that I couldn't go back and although he's wanted to get back together for some time, I think he's finally made peace with it. He got married last month after I told him to for the past couple of years.

[robowarrior]

I think its different in that aspect that she has a child with you, that's much more of a personal bond then two people being together and then splitting up. I would put you two in the catagory of parents,which i personally consider more then just being friends. It must be true in that aspect that you can be friends because you want nothing more, its rather common that people from different genders want sex from eachother and thus can't maintain it. Man + woman as friends is impossible. Unless some extraordinairy situation takes place.

[trident]

Man + woman as friends is impossible.

 

Not impossible, but difficult. The minute both sides explore a romantic connection, however, I think you've moved into "nearly impossible" territory.