safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 My girlfriend and I got into a fight last night. I came to me as a surprise. I had a jalousie problem for the pest 8 month, but I have been working and trying to fix things, and I got pretty good at it in the past week. She went out last night with her friends and everything was fine and perfect between us. About 1 am I give her a call to see what she was doing because she said she will be home about 12 and she acted kind of shady like I did something to her, she later explained that I was acting jealous again but I was not at all I wanted to see when she was coming home... and she hung up on me. I let her go out by her self to show her that I was cool and wasn't jealous. Anyway, when she got home she started to bring up all the things from the past the problems we had and me not trusting her... she told me she was sick and tired of it all and she doesn't care anymore, even though we were perfect the past week. Like I said it came out of nowhere. She also told me that she doesn't love me anymore because what I put her through in the past 8 month. I told her that I am not jealous anymore and I'm working on still and I'm getting better at it, and I am. She was screaming so load at me and then she punched me in the face (she never hit me before), and she told me that I deserved it. She told me that if I want her to fall back in love with me I need to change and then she will love me again. She has been withholding sex as often as she can for the past month. I seems like she was holding all her frustrations inside and let them all out that night. What should I do, how should I act, did she really fall out of love with me, should I try to fix or move on, how should I fix it how long will it take... help!!! Link to comment
kellbell Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Hi safe, Is this same girl you are referring to in this thread? If so, I would really think about letting her go for good. It is very apparent she cannot be trusted at all. I feel you deserve better. Link to comment
safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yea It's the same girl Link to comment
kellbell Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 "Anyway, when she got home she started to bring up all the things from the past the problems we had and me not trusting her..." Well, she has given you every indication NOT to trust her. What she is doing here is called projection...it is a defense mechanism that protects the ego from guilt so she dumps it on you. She is up to something no doubt. Trust your gut. I would get out now before things really get out of hand and before her little secrets come out (because they will) and save yourself from a world of hurt. "She has been withholding sex as often as she can for the past month." This is flat out cruel and immature. She has a lot of you-know-what to pulling a stunt like this, considering the fact she is being very untrustworthy. Get out now dude. Why are tolerating this abuse? You deserve better and I can assure you, there is better out there. Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I echo the others sentiments! Get out, not only has she not EARNED her trust back, she is physically abusive! And withholding sex? That is not a very considerate or effective way to solve problems in the relationship. Also makes me even more suspicious of her actions. Don't be a doormat to this woman. She does not deserve to have you committed to working it out when she is showing she clearly does not have the same commitment in return. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I agree with Kellbell and Raykay. You have problems trusting her because of her actions. You aren't just crazy. And you have no reason to apologize because she's not communicating what she's up to with you. Honestly, she's violent and untrustworthy. Why are you still with her? She's obviously never going to change because she blames it all on you because you have trust issues, when really, it's her fault you have trust issues. You deserve better. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I read your last post, and man, you need to kick this one to the curb quicker than you can say Jack Robinson. She's a liar, almost definetly a cheat, and an abuser. I don't blame you for not trusting her. What man with any shred of intelligence would? You need to get out now dude. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I would say that your relationship has reached an end and it is time for you to move on from it. Link to comment
Momene Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 She said she'd be back at 12 then got mad at you for calling at 1 and wa sthen physically abusive. I don't think she deserves to be with anyone until she grows up and learns some manners. At least you know where you stand and you're better off without her. Good luck. Link to comment
safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 She said she puched me because she was stressed and was fed up with my stuff. And because i called her a lesbian 2 weeks ago. Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 She said she puched me because she was stressed and was fed up with my stuff. And because i called her a lesbian 2 weeks ago. One - there is NEVER EVER EVER a reason to hit or abuse your partner. EVER. Resorting to violence rather than discussing things is a HUGE no-no. Two - that just adds even more to this "let this relationship go". Too much toxicity, negativity, spite and resentment. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 She said she puched me because she was stressed and was fed up with my stuff. And because i called her a lesbian 2 weeks ago. You shouldn't care why she punched you, you should care about the fact that she punched you, period. This is an extremely unhealthy relationship, and it doesn't sound like you have any inclination to get of it because you haven't responded to anyones advice. Why do you stay with her? Link to comment
kellbell Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Safe, There is absolutely no reason to hit another person like that. NONE!! So her solution to communicate with you is to hit you?? That is BS. She has been treading on thin ice for quite some time, kick her to curb...not literally of course. Get out of that relationship...NOW!!! It is extremely toxic. Also, just keep in mind, I interview inmates for a living. I have seen many well-to-do young men in JAIL because of situations like this. Even if they guy was protecting himself from his girlfriend, she would still call the cops and in many cases, the girl is believed and the guy gets his butt thrown in jail. Trust me, it happens...a lot. This girl sounds very unstable and I would NOT put it past her, her calling the cops on you. Get away from her. She is going to cause you a great deal of trouble. Link to comment
safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Should I file a police report? I still have 3 month left on the lease. what should I do? I dont think I'm stong enough to just leave, I'm afraid... (I cant believe I'm saing that). By the way from she told me about her past she got dumped by all her boyfrinds and one of them ended up beatting the crap out of her several times, he spent I believe 1 month in jail. Link to comment
kellbell Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Seriously, dude...I would seriously doubt the validity of her stories. She could have been saying those things to get you to feel sorry for you...whom knows. She have proved herself to be a liar. I was not saying in my earlier post about filing a police report but what I was saying is I have seen INNOCENT guys get thrown in jail due to an unstable psycho girlfriend. Do not be THAT guy. Get away from her...now! If it is your apartment and your name is the only name on the lease, ask her to leave and never come back. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Should I file a police report? I still have 3 month left on the lease. what should I do? . You should ask her to move out. Give her notice to leave within the next 30 days. Link to comment
safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Its in both of our names, its gonna cost me $700 to break the lease. Link to comment
kellbell Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 You know, $700 is a lot of money but worth spending to get out of it. Believe me. I would just leave. Based on her behavior, she probably would not leave if you asked her. Protect yourself and get out. ASAP. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 You know, $700 is a lot of money but worth spending to get out of it. Believe me. I would just leave. Based on her behavior, she probably would not leave if you asked her. Protect yourself and get out. ASAP. This is true. This girl is a land mine waiting to go off. Best to get out of that situation as soon as possible, before something worse happens. Link to comment
Holiday Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Filing a police report sounds a little drastic. I would really try to avoid that unless you trully feel threatened and ensure you do not touch her in any way as like kellbell said, I've seen violent women do the switcharoo and accuse men of violence. Very common! Just avoid any physical or verbal confrontation. Leave her a nice note and tell her what you'd like and that you'd like to work this out in a civil manner. Link to comment
safeplay Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Thank you for all ur help everyone! I will keep you all updated on things. I was looking at apartments so I can getaway from her. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Glad to hear it man, good luck to you and keep us posted. Link to comment
Holiday Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Yeah, in the long run, $700 is not bad at all. GOOD LUCK!! Link to comment
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