Sorry to post this.

[Lillyx]

hi evry1,

sorry 2 post this. just needed 2 talk about it try and get it off my chest.

Iv been abused for nearly all my life by my dad sexully, physicly and emotionly. I v had everything done to me and nuthing will surprize me anymore.

 

i met this guy he is 23 im 14 he showed me attention everything i wannted and treated me so nicly i told him everything about my dad and familly and how my life has been and about the abuse because i really trusted him and i thought he truly loved meand cared about me. the more time i spent with him the more weird is the rite word it got.

he started sayin that unless i met him 4 sex he wud tell ervy1 wot hapened 2 me with my dad . he thinks that i willingly let my dad hurt me.

im ashamed 2 write this, but i met him. i was very scared of who he wud tell and whether it wud get back 2 my dad because i know he will make life evern worse.

 

ok, deep breaths,

i met him in a park and he forced me... it hurt but i cudnt do anythin. i cryed and he got angry wen i started screamin, i tryed to push him away but the more i did the more he would hurt me.

a couple near by must have herd me coz i remember them comin over and the guy i met was runnin away.

 

i cudnt tell u wot the couple sed 2 me, i have no idea all i no is i got up and just ran.

 

thats all i wanna say 4 now, mayb il write sum more wen i feel stronger but feelin very fragile.

I dunno what to do, im so confused and angry about it all. Any advice guys would be great.

[InHiding]

Oh no, sweety! You need to see someone as soon as you can. You have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve to be treated like this! I'm so sorry for your situation and your pain.

 

I don't know what to do in this situation so maybe contact someone who does, like a crisis helpline...they are usually confidential if you don't want anyone to know. But what happened to you was not right, nobody should treat you that way! Hang in there....

[CluelessGuy321]

You need a to see a councilor asap

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

You are in a terrible situation, and you need someone close to you (I mean geographically) to talk to and who can take the proper actions for you. You are still a minor, and from your message I can infer you have been abused by adults (the 24 yo male and your father) several times. These are criminal offenses. Please contact someone at school for this, in addition to telling it on this forum. They will be more apt to really take care of you.

 

The feeling of shame is very common in people who are the victim of abuse. In reality, the abusers are of course the ones that should be deeply ashamed of what they did. Your shame arises from the fact that you have been violated in very sensitive parts of you, parts that should be YOUR choice to share with another person. It will take time to heal from all of this, but if you contact the right persons, you will be ok.

 

Please do a google search for crisislines in your area. Professional people will answer the phone and tell you what to do.

 

Keep us posted and take care,

 

Ilse

[Tigris]

You need to get help quickly. Please get tested for Std's, etc., because you maybe at risk.

 

Lillyx what country do you live in? We can only give you phone numbers if we know this.

 

Please help to stop this man before he does it to someone else.

[flower99]

This is rape, You need to get to the police.

And you need safty from your father as well. You don't deserve any of this, you need to go get help and not another man you meet, but serious help like the police. What is going on is wrong, but please don't take responsibility for this. But you have to stop this by going to the police, it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

hugs

p.s don't apologize for posting this (: that's what this site is for

[yeawutever]

We were definitely rape, not just be your father but by him now. If you haven't reported them, do so now then also seek counseling.

[CluelessGuy321]

That's a lot to go through @ 14

[Lillyx]

Iv gone to the police b4, my brother or my mum they always find somone and said that they were with my dad and blah blah was with me at that time. The police have been angry with me a few times because they dont believe me and im classed as a " time waster". He always has an "alabie ". So now i dont even bother they are useless.

 

The beetings has happened since i was like 4 and it grew to get worse till now. I live in england.

 

I know there is nothing i can do , the only reason i came on here is because i needed to get it out of my sistem because i put it to the back of my head and it gets too much for me.

Iv relised the more i do to get away the worst it all gets. Iv run away some one in my family has found me. Iv cut myself, i foulnmd someone to take my pain away- but it ended up with it happening to me again. Iv tryed sucide but it didnt work.

 

Theres nothing else i can do, i cant take anymore of it but thats what my life has always been like and i hate every second of it but theres nothing anyone can do.

[neva_black_n_white]

If your beginning to feel like theres nowhere to turn then maybe you should ring a childline. its free, you dont have to do it at your home you can go out and ring from a phone booth or anywhere. its up to you whether you remain anonymous or not. but it helps. if anything you can talk to someone about whats been happening.

 

you shouldnt have to go through this at all. your 14 and from what youve said you havent got anyone to scaffold you or hold you up in any way. maybe looking for some advice (usually by people only slightly older, same sex if thats preffered, and people you can form a trust with) will help you.

 

its brave of you what you have done, going to the police, some people darent take that step. sometimes the system works against you, but dont lose faith in it.

 

my friend was physically abused by her step dad and as unfortunate as it sounds you have to go to the police after youve been hit, punched, kicked (she did). shes claimed against him and they said to here that evidence would only justify it when he sempt to always have an alibi.

 

it sounds horrific i know. but sometimes people dont listen until someone puts it in their face.

 

if you want to talk .. even if its just random lardy dar stuff and not about your past then pm me x wish you the best of luck with everything x neva aka kelly

[BellaDonna]

Lillyx,

 

Hi and welcome to enotalone.

 

If you want to send me a Private Message with your general location- I will look up some local resources where you might be able to get help (other than the police).

 

How did you meet the 23 year-old that hurt you? Did you meet him online?

 

 

BellaDonna

[snowgirl]

Oh, Lilly. I want to hug you and take you away from all of that.

 

You CAN do something about it, this is NOT the way you have to live. The police you reported to should all be fired. I hope you can do this one thing to help yourself.

Email this address and tell them what you have told us. link removed[/i]"]louise@link removed

She is the coordinator of "Rape Crisis--England and Wales".

If you cannot do this, I can do it for you. Just say the word and I will contact them and get any information you want, or answer any of your questions. I will not tell them anything you don't want me to tell them. It can all be totally anonymous. I will not do anything unless you ask me to.

You don't deserve this. You didn't do anything to make it happen, and you don't have to put up with this anymore.

I am safe, and I am also a rape victim. (I was 15). We can help you. Please stay and talk to us.

[Lillyx]

Thanxs guys but i dont think i can, if you knew what happened to me last time i went to the police and ran away it was the worst night ever i was well ,forsed on by about 4 guys who my dad knew ,with a gun in my mouth while they did this and i couldnt do anything but cry and when they left i had a repeat eposode but with a knife in his hand and he scrapped it all over my body so i was bleeding.

 

Dan the guy i met, i met him at a bus stop and he started chating to me and things grew from there, i thought i could trust him but it turns out he is jsut like my dad. I know im gonna get so much abuse by saying this but i could never ever trust another man again they are scum!!!!!!!!!

 

This is ther way my life has to be,i hate every second and have tryed to get away so many times but it gets worse when i do that. So iv given up on life. I came on here just to let y feeling out because it was too much. Thanxs anyways guys ur real good peep. Well let hope that he will soon kill me and then i wont have to live with this.

[neva_black_n_white]

I dont think youll get any abuse for calling men scum. you havent experienced anything different.

 

i still think you should talk to a child line, it might help you realise that maybe you could work towards a goal. if you hold on a little longer. you have the right to as many oppotunities as everyone else. dont let people like your dad or dan take that away from you.

 

i hope something works out for you. its horrific what your going through..

 

here if you need us. you dont need to be alone on this one.

[snowgirl]

Lilly, listen to me. I am old enough to be your mother and then some, and I know what I am talking about. This is NOT the way your life has to be. I understand why you think that if you say anything, things will get worse, but that is not the case if you go through the proper channels. You have been raped by your father, and you have been raped by the authorities as well.

But now you are talking to the RIGHT people. We KNOW how to get you help that won't hurt you. I know it's hard to trust in people who are so anonymous, but that is the beauty of this forum. We ARE anonymous. We can help you get set up and you can understand how help works BEFORE You reveal your identity to ANYONE.

You have a glimmer of hope in you, right? We can help you.

Feel free to vent away, I hope you do continue to use this forum as an outlet.

[Lillyx]

Yeah but if the police dont believe me who is? there is no hope in me anymore.

Do you wanna know the worst thing of all, i wasnt gonna say it on here but oh well, iv taking 3 pregnancy test and they have all come up as positve.

Well lets hope its me getting fat not having a baby. Im going to book an appiontment at the docters soon. Im angery at myself for letting him do it that i cant stop him what dan did it to me, when i thought he cared for me . But iv have learnt somthing from all this NEVER EVER TRUST ANYBODY.

 

I dont believe in abortion at all iv always thought if your old enough to have sex you are old enough to live with the consiqences. And i didnt ask for sex and i get it thrown on me. God must really hate me. Im soo woried, im not telling anyone about this , if i go to the docters will they tell my family? my dad will kill me, why couldnt i stop him, i should be able to stop it. , im so angry that he did this. Im sorry im blabbering on , i just need to get it all out. everynite i get hurt one way or another, i dont even wanna talk about last nite, lets just say im very bruised all over. Im still blabbering im gonna go.

[snowgirl]

WE believe you. WE do. I can understand your reluctance to trust anyone, and I don't blame you!

But WE believe you.

And if you had three positive pregnancy tests, I am afraid you ARE pregnant. Just another thing you have to face. I am so sorry, Lilly.

I do not know how laws are in the UK, but here in the US, they will not tell your parents. I would think it's the same there. I will find out for you.

God does not hate you.

And please stay with us.

 

We believe you.

[flower99]

Oh Lily

I want to hug you & cry with you & make it go away.. I"m sorry for everything you've gone through. Snowgirl, you are awesome...Lily let her help. We want to help you any way we can.

Dont lose hope. Please don't. Lily you are so strong & amazing for all you've gone through. Stay strong a little longer.... but you need help so you get out so you can live. don't let the police discourage you (who I agree should be fired) talk to the email removed

My heart goes out to you...and God does not hate you...he loves you so much, he hurts with you...

[snowgirl]

I found some resurces for you, Lilly.

-----------------

The best place for

her to get support would probably be Childline - a national telephone

helpline and their number from the UK is 0800 1111

 

She might also want to tell her teacher. We have very formal child

protction procedures which will be insitgated if a child reports

abuse. As her pregnancy becomes noticeable it is likely that action

will be instigated. Her doctor is likely to contact social services

if she tells him that she is pregnant.

 

And if she has unrestricted access to the Internet it is likely that

she could contact organisations like

 

Confidential online advice for teenagers

link removed

 

YWCA England & Wales is a charity working with young women facing

poverty, discrimination or abuse.

link removed

 

Children?s domestic violence website

link removed

 

link removed aims to be the first place all young adults turn to when

they need support and guidance through life. link removed

 

NSPCC site: Worried Need 2 Talk

link removed

 

Youth Access: find a local counselling and information service

link removed

 

Careline: telephone helpline for children and adults

link removed

 

This service provides a unique, free and confidential helpline for

young people acting as a signpost to relevant sources of help

link removed

[Lillyx]

Thanxs snowgirl you`ve been great, iv looked at these websites and at least i know im not on my own.

 

But iv made up my mind on what i want to do,iv relised i dont want to be here anymore because im never going to forget what happened to me, im never going to be able to trust anyone ever. Night after night its pain, no matter what i do to try and make it better nothing works. I dont want to be here anymore. Im gonna get abuse by saying this but i dont care because i wont be here to read it, i dont want to live anymore i want to die, so im going to, iv made up my mind and im not going to change it. I thought about it alot how am i gonna cope if i am pregnant? i wont be able to , my dad will kill me and id rather not let him win so il do it instead. There is no one i can trust so whats the point.

 

Thanxs guys, youv been real nice and have really helped me.

[snowgirl]

Lilly, will you call or email someone before doing anything rash?

You have a very good chance at getting help and getting rid of all of these awful feelings you have. I know it seems impossible right now, but I assure you, it's VERY possible. I am living proof that you can recover from unspeakable trauma and come out of it okay. Better than okay. You can do it too, you are obviously a remarkably strong person. You have been through so much so early, and now is the time for you to start healing living your life free from that monster.

Please take advantage of at least one of the resources posted. Just reach out to them, you don't have to expend yourself, just send them a message. Don't give up without doing at least that.

 

Hugs and love and warmth,

 

SG

[Tigris]

Lilly what county do you live in in England?

 

When you get beaten go to the police and tell them you want to be photographed. Better still get in touch with Social Services and they'll support you and find a safe environment for you to live in. They'll even make sure you still continue with your education.

 

Forensic tests will prove that you were forced to have sex. Also the baby's DNA will prove who the father is and he'll be prosecuted. You're under 16 which is the legal age for sex here so the men involved will go to prison.

 

Please don't let your father and the other men win by taking your own life.

 

All of us on here care about you.

[snowgirl]

Lilly, are you still reading the forum? I am thinking about you all the time.

[laul]

hunny please for ur own safety contact the nspcc. ur only 14 still a child who should be enjoyin being with friends, goin out, havin a laugh.

 

u can contact nspcc on 24hr freephone number for child protection:

 

0808 800 5000

 

 

let us know how things are going.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Hey.I dont know what to say. But we love you and im always here if you wanna talk . kids help line is always here to