Getting Even with Ex : Opinions please

[eleanorrigby1]

Whats the most hurtful thing an ex did to you?

 

Got over you

 

Whats the most hurtful thing you can do to an ex?

 

Get over them

 

 

 

Very true!

 

I 'pretended' to not care when my ex dumped me for someone else, I was devestated, he moved on within the day and i was left crying into my wine and chain smoking like the world was gonna run out of cigs. I made myself ill, I couldnt keep food down, but in public i smiled and I went out on nights out and I got dressed up and I bumped into his mum and said how life was good yeah, i was enrolling at college i had been dating... all total rubbish (apart from the college bit which i did do).

 

My ex of course saw and heard all this and one day he bumped into a mutual friend and he says "how is she?,.." friend says "oh fine why?" he says "I gotta admit I have got a bit of a bruised ego... "

 

jjb done! SWIZZLE ON THAT MOFO!!! LOL!

[blueberrypie]

Whats the most hurtful thing an ex did to you?

 

Got over you

 

Whats the most hurtful thing you can do to an ex?

 

Get over them

 

 

Great advice. Except that it's really hard to do.

[blueberrypie]

I was an atheist till sometime back, but have a renewed faith in God.

 

I envy you. I was religious, but I'm becoming an atheist. I tried to get over my sadness through God, but whenever I read about God, I actually felt offended. When they say God has a plan for me, I will understand it later, God will make a good thing out of my pain, I feel "you can say that because you didn't experience what I'm going through."

Life was much easier when I could count on God. Now I don't know where/whom to count on.

[hazeleyed]

Well then just continue praying and hoping to grow as a person. Do not let her still be in control by thinking of her. Let go for today.

[happyninja75]

blueberrypie you need to know that god is reel! and just because the pain you feel is overwhelming (i have been there believe me) it does not meen he isnt there just really ask for help and you will get it i promiss! the worst thing i can tell you that this is a learning lesson, but it is. i hated when people would tell me that when i was going threw my break up my ex left me after three years (and one of those years we were engaged) for a guy on an online video game that sucked and hurt. i was suicidal for a couple of day but i prayed and prayed and i thought i was being egnored but i wasnt, things were in motion for me to have a better life so please dont give up on god, he wont give up on you ever.(and im not that religeos ether) think of it this way were your parents there to pretect you from all your mestakes? no. but they were there to help you get threw them! and so is god. thats just my opinion take it or leave it its your choice.

[blueberrypie]

thanks happyninja. =)

your parents analogy makes sense. my ex was an atheist and I began to doubt about a year before I met my ex. I kept questioning God, but having an atheist bf doesn't help me finding God. Maybe that's why God made us break-up. (Do you believe in this kind of theory? Then why did He break us apart instead of making me lead my ex to God also?)

I'll try to pray. Can you pray for me, too? =)

[shes2smart]

blueberrypie-

 

You might want to check out this thread & the mp3 that it links to. While I'm not an atheist, I'm not exactly a church-going type either. I liked what this guy had to say about break-ups....apparently so did a few other folks on this site.

 

 

[happyninja75]

sometime its not your job to do the leading, i just want to let you know im not the kind of person that goes to church, im not a person who can quote the bible and i will never be one of those people. but as far as my personal experiances i know god exsits and is there for everybody you just have to ask and he will be there. and at the same time believe in yourself you have the strength to make it threw this. as for your ex try not analize your break up to much that will just hurt yourself more. just know there are bigger better things and people out there for you!

[blueberrypie]

shes2smart,

 

Thanks a lot for the link. I just listened to the message. It IS a great message. Everytime I fall back to the sadness, I'll listen to that.

 

happyninja,

thanks for the advice. I'll try to focus on *me*.

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

i think thats cool, but i'm in a similar situation. i want my ex to feel my pain, i want him hurt, but i want to see it, and know it. but of course that would never happen. it's not like we have mutual friends or anything.

[wk75]

Yeah, I'll admit it. In my mind I've run through various schemes and acts of revenge against my ex. Mostly minor stuff, done from afar, but I could never bring myself to do it. I also believe in what comes around goes around - and I don't want both the suffering AND something coming to me for taking out revenge on her.

 

So I've sad by idlely, absorbing the suffering - trying as best as I can to use it as motivation to improve myself.

 

I'd be willing to bet she has some serious pain due to her for what she did to me and her time will come. But as much as I've suffered, I'm not wishing this pain on her. In the long run I hope we both end up happy.

 

Fact is though, suffering can be a disguise for something great... motivation to improve yourself and preparing yourself for who you really need to become. I've had a few bad breakups... the real tragedy is when these aren't used as opportunities for growth. At the end of it all... after e.g. a year... the dumpee might actually owe the ex... for doing them a favor and ending it, prompting the self-improvement.

[Spugly Fuglet]

best way is get the life you wonted, do all the things you dreamed of and much more, travil see the world. One day you meet them and know that your life was better with out them pulling you down.

 

now thats payback

[shes2smart]

best way is get the life you wonted, do all the things you dreamed of and much more, travil see the world. One day you meet them and know that your life was better with out them pulling you down.

 

now thats payback

 

Yup. Living well is truly the best revenge.

[Silentlyfor]

I made the mistake of hurting my ex with 2 hurtfu text msg's over my cell phone. Let me tell you something, you would feel satisfied for a while. But here's the problem.

 

Even if she doesn't respond to you or take what you said or did seriously, you're maintaining a connection with her. That is absolutely not the essense of what being abandoned is.

 

The thing is a small part of us wants our ex's back. We'll do anything to get some emotional response or contact from them to ease our own pain. But, let's face it, they left us. They left and stopped caring about us and no level of contact, whether spiteful or favorable will bring them back. I think of my break up, actually as a death. And no amount of spiteful "fat hippie * * * *" or "I wish I never met you" will never bring them back.

 

What I did for a time to stop myself from doing that again, I wrote in a journal saying "I'm jealous and angry because..." and let my feelings externalize. Everybody is different, but if you have anger inside you, you could do something similar.