temujin Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Sigh... can't people just leave with a proper breakup instead of coming up with so many lies to justify cheating?... These words she said keep haunting me in the dreams. "If there wasn't a hole in our relationship, how can someone come in and pull me aside and ask me if I want to take a path that is less bumpy" Someone tell me that this is not justified no matter how bad at the time your relationship is? Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Sigh... can't people just leave with a proper breakup instead of coming up with so many lies to justify cheating?... These words she said keep haunting me in the dreams. "If there wasn't a hole in our relationship, how can someone come in and pull me aside and ask me if I want to take a path that is less bumpy" Someone tell me that this is not justified no matter how bad at the time your relationship is? No, it's not justified. Even if times are bad, there is NO excuse. Even if you do not want to work on the relationship, there is NO reason not to end things before you start them with someone else. Those words, or that line, is a bunch of you-know-what to make her feel better and less guilty and to turn the blame around. She is the only one responsible for her actions though, and life will show her that nothing in life worth living for comes easy. Link to comment
flower99 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 No, it's not justified. Even if times are bad, there is NO excuse. Even if you do not want to work on the relationship, there is NO reason not to end things before you start them with someone else. Those words, or that line, is a bunch of you-know-what to make her feel better and less guilty and to turn the blame around. She is the only one responsible for her actions though, and life will show her that nothing in life worth living for comes easy. Absolutely agreee!!!!! no matter how bad times are you can never justify cheating, she is the only one responsible for her actions. More so, ever wonder if the hole she speaks of in your relationship - was really just a hole in herself and she projects her problems on to you? You know it's a lie, don't let it consume you. Link to comment
chigal28 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 That's an excuse, and a very feeble one. She's trying to justify what she did in her own mind and put the blame onto circumstances instead of admitting that it was a choice SHE made, presumably so she can walk away without feeling guilty. Problems and issues will always arise in relationships, but we always have a choice: Stay in the relationship and work through those issues with that other person, or tell that person you don't think it's working and end the relationship. Doing things the way she did them shows an utter lack of courtesy or even basic respect. This approach to relationships will continue to affect her, and if she thinks that finding the right person means the road won't be bumpy, well, she'll find out the hard way that's just not true. From the sounds of it, you, on the other hand, know what a good relationship entails and how to be a good partner....and that will serve you well when you find someone who deserves you--which is NOT your ex! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Hey. The others are right! Please do not blame yourself or believe these lines of bs. Please be nice to yourself. I guess she isn't ready to come to bat for her actions. She's still making excuses, and unfortunately, you are the poor guy who gets of the bulk of the damage. Try to ignore her lies and words. It's not about you. It's about her trying to avoid being accountable. take care. Link to comment
bstrong2day Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 It takes two people working together to make a relationship work, and she made a conscious choice to hurt you. That is unacceptable. After sitting back and reading your threads, it appears to me that she is a coward who isn't willing to look in the mirror and be held accountable for her own actions. Blaming you is a cop-out. Find peace in that. It's not your fault. Link to comment
anonymous_presence Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Anyone who would so easily walk away from something good just because things got a bit more difficult is not worth your time and energy. It's not justified at all! People are not objects of mere whims and impulses; it takes character to stand firm and steady and pull through the roughness to get to truly rewarding bit of the relationship. Every relationship at one point or another has a "hole," regardless of how it formed, and that you stayed in there shows true character on your behalf! Link to comment
temujin Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 sigh.. not sure.. one of her friends told me to take it like job hunting.. i wonder when my notice period was served Link to comment
temujin Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 I just found a log of our ICQ chat going way back to Jan 2002.... before other messengers were popular..... Just deleted it..................................................... Link to comment
yeawutever Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Right on RayKay, there is no excuse. If you're not happy then end it, instead of banging someone else as your free way out. Don't worry temujin, you'll get over it in no time and find a girl who's worthy of your love. Link to comment
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