here2understand2 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 hey, thanks for reading, this is about a girl I've known for almost 7-8 months now..we always have amazing conversations and i think its something that we both will agree on..Once in Feb I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said yes and gave me her phone number..i called her up 4-5 days ago on a wednesday evening to see what she'd planned for the weekend but she never returned my call. I called her once more a week or so later but same result..no call back. This is something i really hate because it just seems so disrespectful. I know that girls have a way of letting men know that maybe they dont want to hang out but it can be done in a much more subtle way(by sayin that you're busy or something a couple of times) but I hate it much when they dont even bother to call you back. So I ran into this girl a couple of days ago while playing softball and we talked for a while and then at a friends babrbecue the very next day. We'd a good time talking(as usual..) and I talked about hanging out sometime and again she was pretty positive about it...before I could seal the deal(by asking her specifically for something) she'd to leave. Anyways, I called her a day later to see (i.e. Saturday) and left her a voice message askin if she wanted to play golf sometime..but again..no call back and its Monday today. I've seen this happen before but usually if she's not interested she doesnt usually talk about hanging out sometime and then never call back..any perspectives on whats happening here girls and guys? I am pretty pissed off at this girl for being rude and dicey, maybe am better off without her indecision making but at the same time she's an amazingly intellectual women. Its not like I've been calling her to set up a date..I just want to hang out since we usually have an awesome time talking. Its not that I havent thought of dating her..I have but hangin out is what I want it to be for now...so any thoughts on this girl..people? and thanks again for reading..later! Link to comment
chai714 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Here, Things aren't adding up with her. It would be a lot less trouble if you dropped this one. Quit calling her, she has struck out. Link to comment
brando Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I agree with Chai,, she doesn't sound all that into you. Go fish.... Link to comment
Bigbilly Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 No dice. Give it up. Move onto the next adventure. Lemme just say, in the future ...do not leave voicemails or messages. Ever. EVER! That's a cardinal rule of dating for guys. Let them wonder why you didn't leave a message. For certainty, don't ever say "Let's hang out sometime". That leaves it way too open. Ask her on a date, and specify a time and place and everything. Then, if she flakes, you'll know for certain. Good luck. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Well, in all fairness, she may just be flaky or have something big going on in her life right now. She gets the idea that you like her. I would back off and start looking elsewhere. No time to wait around hoping she'll change. tc Link to comment
chai714 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Many women have a hard time breaking bad news to a man. And I don't like turning down women either. It's human nature to want to make someone feel good about themselves and minimize damage but the fact is that most people would rather make an excuse and let you figure it out. In this case, I think she's trying to be nice to you but is not interested. I was in a similar situation earlier this year. I had talked to this woman I had known for quite some time. She even asked me for MY number. Anyhow, I called her and she didn't answer. She would text me only but not talk. She told me she wanted to hang out, etc etc etc, blah blah blah. I had even made a purchase of some sporting equipment at her place of employment. Anyhow, long story short - she sent mixed signals just like the woman you're dealing with. I knew exactly how to deal with her - I sent one signal back and that was me hitting "delete" next to her name in my cell phone. End of story. Link to comment
brando Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I sent one signal back and that was me hitting "delete" next to her name in my cell phone. End of story. lol love it chai... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 It's kinda funny. I know that me at 24 would probably try a few times with someone I really liked. Gave the flakes a chance, or the hesitant. Now, at 27, my patience is way cut down. Results or Moving On. Link to comment
brando Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Well i guess the balls in her court now...i wouldnt call again, and if she does...never mention anything about her not calling you back sooner... Link to comment
Scotcha Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Once in Feb I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said yes and gave me her phone number..i called her up 4-5 days ago I disagree with the other posters. I don't think she's being flakey. I don't think that the ball is in her court now. I think the ball was in YOUR court FOUR months ago. She was friendly with you when you two ran into each other but that doesn't mean that she sill wants you to call and hang out. She could have started and ended an entire relationship within that time period. She could even be in a relationship. She even could've decided after waiting months on end for you phone call that she was giving up on men for good! (Okay, i'm getting a little silly now but you get the idea, right?) Hmm.. In fact, that number you are calling might not be hers any longer.. Who knows? I think it would be best to stop calling. She may call you back and she may not but the choice is hers. If you do run into her I would apologize for taking so long to call her and ask her if maybe you could make it up to her. Link to comment
lonestar_80 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 She sounds flaky and two faced. I know how you feel. I was dating a guy for four months and now he has stopped calling me. When I call him he sounds as sweet as pie on the phone, and sets up dates, but then flakes out on me. Says he is going to call but does not. He only calls after I have called him. He says "hey sweetie I miss you, blah, blah, blah, when can I see you again..." When I ask him what happened he has 10 million excuses. He is going out of town, he is going to see his parents; he has a friend in town this weekend etc. Then he says I will make it up to you baby, lets go here and there, and on vacation, blah, blah, blah. We only see each other once a week. He only stays on the phone for 10 minutes max. I can't believe I feel for his game. My heart tells me that it is over, but don't I at least deserve a break up? Why do guys just think that they can disappear, without saying why? If you start something shouldn't you finish it? So I have made up my mind that he is too much of a coward to dump me, so “I will just let it burn.” I will just wait until he calls me and if he never calls me again then it is his loss! Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 "Why do guys just think that they can disappear, without saying why? If you start something shouldn't you finish it? So I have made up my mind that he is too much of a coward to dump me, so "I will just let it burn." I will just wait until he calls me and if he never calls me again then it is his loss!" definitely not just a guy thing. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 jee, thanks for all the responses, I totally agree with "chai" and all members who share that viewpoint..from my past experience and all your opinions, I think I've wasted far too much time on this girl, I did almost everything "copyb ook" (i.e. if there's any such thing), called her when I took her number and then when I ran into her and she suggested hanging out..I guess this one beats the dust and am gonna let it go. Amazing, how women cant even realize(let alone appreciate) how difficult it is to be a guy and work up all the courage to do stuff to make her feel special (especially if you live in a city like I do where the number of men outnumber women by a distance and the probability of every women you approach being taken is pretty high) and how women can just stubb all that out...nyways, shes a gonner and yeah Chai..i did delete her number from my cellphone yesterday..she's history, sad that we'd never know what could've been but hey i think its more of her loss..later! and thanks a bunch for reading! Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 I think I made a mistake in my original post there it wasnt supposed to be "4-5 days ago", it was 4-5 days after I originally asked for her number..I think that prompted you response thinking that I took a good 3-4 months before I called her when infact I called her only 4 days after I took her number..my bad! Link to comment
Scotcha Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I think I made a mistake in my original post there it wasnt supposed to be "4-5 days ago", it was 4-5 days after I originally asked for her number..I think that prompted you response thinking that I took a good 3-4 months before I called her when infact I called her only 4 days after I took her number..my bad! Yep, that totally changes everything I wrote. Disregard my original response. Dating is hard enough and the least people could do is be upfront. It would save so much time and confusion. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Well, in all fairness, she may just be flaky or have something big going on in her life right now. Oh come on now. Why even say something that remotely possible when all you are doing is giving this guy an excuse to continue to try. Just call it as it is. She's not interested at all. Is it possible that she is flakey? Yes. It is also possible that I will win the lottery tomorrow. Let's keep away from giving excuses that may lead to false hope. To the OP, she's not interested, period. Who cares if she is polite in person and you guys have good conversations? It means nothing if she isn't returning your calls or going out with you. She's trying to avoid being rude to you, but hoping you will take the hint as she blows you off. A girl who has ANY interest in you would not ignore your phone calls, much less two of them. If she was interested in you, she would have found time to be with you, or something else definite. She wouldn't want you to get the impression that she doesn't like you. She clearly is not interested. Yeah I know you wish girls were more open about their disinterest, but this is the way it is so I would suggest learning to deal with in. In reality, it's pretty easy regardless to find out if a girl is interested by her actions if you are open about your intentions with her. So as long as you are asking girls out, you will find it is quite easy to figure out whether or not they have interest in you by how they respond with their actions. Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 LOL! thanks DiggityDog, I think I knew what was happening even before I wrote my OP..I guess I just didnt realize it all that well..sometimes when a couple of people out there analyze the situation and tell you..it does come accross much better..nyways..thanks for the advice, I know I'd have to deal with some facts and deal I will..This way I know I wont've too many regrets when I am done with life! everybody for the inputs! Link to comment
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