Elisette Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I know this sounds quite bad but "my boyfriend" is married and has a baby son, I dont know what happened but I just fell in love with him a long time ago. Well right now I'm 15..... but 3 years ago I went out with a guy 5 years older than me but the problem was that he was a pimp, he always had alot of girls and he never took girls seriously. I was attracted to him and he was attracted to me but unfortunately he got into a fight with my dad and my dad never let him come back to our house. I loved him soooo much that I cried for him alot. Well time passed and 3 years went by and in December 2005 I finally heard from him!!!!! but the bad thing is that he had married and his wife was going to have a baby shower, so that baby shower night I saw him and he saw me again and I looked at him and he looked at me like whenever we were going out. After a month passed in January he called me at night and told me he still liked me and he wanted to be with me, and I still loved him as the first day but I also had in mind that he was married. But right now i have done absolutely "nothing" bad with him we've only talked on the phone and we've seen each other on partys and other places but I'm going through a very tough part in my life because it's really hard for me to know if he's saying the true about what he tells me whenever he says to me that he wants me seriously, and that he loves me and that he's only with his wife because of his son, and he wants to have me on a serious relation ship and if i come out pregnant he will be responsable but I ask him "what about your wife" and he does not say anything I dont know what to think anymore I dont know if he really's taking me serious or if he still loves me the same way I did and do or if he loves his wife . I need and advice because I dont want to do something and then find out he only wanted my body!!!! PLEASE help me Link to comment
brando Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 If he is cheating on his wife, he will be cheating on you as well. Do yourself a favor and stay away form this guy. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Sounds like he's after the sex. I agree with Brando, "If he's cheating on his wife, he will be cheating on you." There's a reason that your father drove him away from your house. He probably felt like he had to protect you. This ex love of yours has a lot of baggage right now. I would stay away from him. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Hi there! Wow, your only 15! Look I'm never one to judge an age gap relationship, but in this case I'm going to make an exception. Your 15, the fact that your questioning a relationship with this man surely means you have doubts yourself. I really do not think it's a good idea to be with this guy. You said yourself he's a pimp (or was) either way he sounds like bad news! How do you know he isn't going to cheat on you IF he was with you? He has a wife and a son. The best thing you can do is to keep away. Believe me, I know it's hard I really do. Your at different places in your life, could you see yourself with him in 5 years time? Please be careful, the fact he's interested in a 15 year old girl also sounds disturbing. Miya xx Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 I can see you guys want me to get away from him, but I've tried to but it is very hard especially whenever he's calling me and saying all this beautiful things to me, but I sometimes question myself if he loved me we would not be in this ''dirty relationship" since yesterday his wife caught him on the phone with me, as soon as he finished talking to me his wife got the phone and pressed redial so I answered and she started a big drama today I called him he said she left but I never heard him say something in leaving her forever. it breaks my heart that still he has NO plans in leaving her and taking me serious as he says Link to comment
Haven Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 You're only 15? I'm pretty sure it would be illegal for him to have a sexual relationship with you, since you're still a minor -- it's called statutory rape. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I can see you guys want me to get away from him, but I've tried to but it is very hard especially whenever he's calling me and saying all this beautiful things to me, but I sometimes question myself if he loved me we would not be in this ''dirty relationship" since yesterday his wife caught him on the phone with me, as soon as he finished talking to me his wife got the phone and pressed redial so I answered and she started a big drama today I called him he said she left but I never heard him say something in leaving her forever. it breaks my heart that still he has NO plans in leaving her and taking me serious as he says Everything you just said ... doesn't that make you hate him? Look you deserve so much better. Go NC! Get away from him. Think of everything he does that hurts you and how much you deserve better. He's not worth it. Your talking to someone here who understands you, and why? Because I was in a similar situation myself. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Well, guys will tell girls whatever it is they want to hear. Not all: but the jerks will. And this boy is a Jerk. Talk is cheap. Save yourself agony and learn a lesson young that many never learn: Judge a man by his actions, not his words. How is he acting? He is acting like a sneaky, creepy man who wants to use you. He is acting like a man who does not love you, does not love his wife, and puts his own desires above his family (including a little baby he created). You deserve better than this. If you are craving attention, love, and kind words: try turning to your family. I know it's not the same as a bf. But they are people that actually do love you and want the best for you. take care of yourself. Get away from this man. You are too good for this. Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 Everything you just said ... doesn't that make you hate him? Look you deserve so much better. Go NC! Get away from him. Think of everything he does that hurts you and how much you deserve better. He's not worth it. Your talking to someone here who understands you, and why? Because I was in a similar situation myself. You must really understand me because acutally I have kind-of hated him because of all I've been through, well one time I felt as if all the love I had for him had turned into hate, but then he calls me and he tells me he loves me and tells me not to believe anything people tell me Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I know sweetie, s'ok (hugs) I'm 17 as you have probably guessed .. I was seeing a man who's 32. He's not married but he has a son and I still love him so much. We don't speak so much anymore but when we do he's always turning on this charm that really makes me feel good and makes me smile. It's just annoying to know that not only can I not have him now, but I can never have him. It makes me cry knowing he's with someone else when he supposedly loves me. I understand you. It's like you love him and hate him. You love him because he makes you feel special (even if he isn't going the right way about it) and hate him because of the situation that he has put you in. It hurts, I know it does. Just be careful hun! Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Thanks I am very confused right now Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 mysterious gurl are you here???? Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I am here, yes! Our time zones are very different .. I think you are about 6 hours ahead of me though lol. Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 Yes we sure are very appart from time zones well over here it's barely 6:21 p.m Link to comment
lonestar_80 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Are you really just 15? What your boyfriend is doing is a crime. How old is he? Your Dad should have him put in jail for sleeping with a minor. Just think of it this way, most men are willing to say anything to get sex. I have been there before. They will promise you anything marriage, kids, ect. just for sex. They are willing to lie to you. They will play mind games with you and make you think that you are crazy for questioning their actions. What you are doing is wrong. You should treat people the way that you want to be treated. Ask yourself this question, DO you want your future husband to cheat on you? I believe in God. A phrase in the Bible that is so true...you reap what you sow. Other wise know as what goes around comes around. If you disrespect other people you actions are bound to come back one day and bite you in the butt. Your man will cheat on you. Marriage is a covenant that people make before God. You are dishonoring, his marriage covenant, and you dishonoring yourself by being in this relationship. I really do not see things working out for you. Trust me if his wife finds out who you are, she may hunt you down. I have heard of wives beating up their man's mistress. If he use to be a pimp, you know she is a "ride or die chick", and she will not be afraid to fight you. If they will do it with you, they will do it to you. Your boyfriend has no morals or character at all. He is sleeping with a child. Would you want your child sleeping with a 30 year old guy? If you married him, what makes you think he won't cheat on you? When your 35 how do you know that he won't stalk another 15 year old. I am sorry dear but please break up with him. Enjoy your youth, you only get it once. I would love to be 15 again! Focus on doing well and school and enjoying your friends. Dump the pervert he is just looking for sex. This relationship is really unhealthy and it sounds like he is just manipulating you. Link to comment
lonestar_80 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 yeah once a cheater always a cheater This is the answer you gave on the cheater poll, If you know this then why are you with your boyfriend? Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I've been in a similar situation, it really has to be about sex. If you never saw eachother for 3 years im sure you coped fine, so what is stopping you from doing that again? Im sure your probably thinking "but guys my age are stupid" but they are'nt they are how they should be, innocent I know youve probably heard it all before, im even sure alot of people have said you cant be in love at your age, but i believe you can, and you probably are but that doesnt mean you need to act on it, not right now. It really would be best if you didnt go there, he has a child and a wife and hes just trying to act on the fact that he has the attention of someone young and gullable like yourself, im not saying your dumb but it is nice and flattering to be appreciated when your that age especially by someone older, trust me ive totally been there. Only i went through with it, and i can say its the one thing i regret the most in my life, i wish to god i had not done it. I thought i was in love and i was naive about it. Hes liking your attention and he probably will want sex with you soon, even after the first time his attention wont sway, he'll probably want more, and if he doesnt... then think of what you have just lost to someone who never really thought about you enough. I'm actually really worried for you, because i remember how i felt, it was addicting and really hard to stop. Just please think about it, you may not believe it but there are good guys your own age out there, maybe evenslightly older. Pls just think about it Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Elisette you'll have to re-add i dont know what happened Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Hey you, Haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Perhaps because you would be a sleep by the time I log on msn . I guess the time zone makes it harder to catch you online. So are you okay then? Have you thought anymore about what you are going to do? I have to say, for a 15 year old your very mature indeed. Much more mature than I ever was at 15, and it wasn't that long ago lol. Since I know more or less what your going through, I would like to help you the best I can. Hopefully I will get to chat to you soon! For now, take care! Miya xx Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 17, 2006 Author Share Posted June 17, 2006 Hey you, Haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Perhaps because you would be a sleep by the time I log on msn . I guess the time zone makes it harder to catch you online. So are you okay then? Have you thought anymore about what you are going to do? I have to say, for a 15 year old your very mature indeed. Much more mature than I ever was at 15, and it wasn't that long ago lol. Since I know more or less what your going through, I would like to help you the best I can. Hopefully I will get to chat to you soon! For now, take care! Miya xx Hey well It surely is very hard to catch u online over there it is like 9 or 8 hours later than my time zone. but well I have thought about it on the wrong side of the situation. I used to think only good things about aur relationship and I used to have alot of illusions for him and me but all they were fake dreams. And now that I think all the bad things that I could have done with him it all sounds sooooo bad. Well I hope to see us soon Miya thanks Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 17, 2006 Author Share Posted June 17, 2006 Elisette you'll have to re-add i dont know what happened Hey I tried to re-add you but it is still the same but you try to add me it is email removed Link to comment
Vacant Sadness Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Theres a reason, this guy is saying beautiful things to u, because hes working of the goal of having a very illegal affair with u, and as soon as he gets what he wants, he will decend back into the shadows of which he came..it seems he's the type, that will pop up when he wants something and disappear when he doesn't...as the others say stay away..resist temptation and hide. Link to comment
Elisette Posted June 17, 2006 Author Share Posted June 17, 2006 Theres a reason, this guy is saying beautiful things to u, because hes working of the goal of having a very illegal affair with u, and as soon as he gets what he wants, he will decend back into the shadows of which he came..it seems he's the type, that will pop up when he wants something and disappear when he doesn't...as the others say stay away..resist temptation and hide. What do u mean by he'ss go back into the shadows??? Do you mean he will never talk to me again???????? Link to comment
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