Getting Closer

[Hurting4Sure]

Well next week my wife goes to Sweden to meet her internet boyfriend she "loves". I am trying to get a backbone and go LC, have not called her, wanted too though. Went to pick up the kids, had a plan of not going inside her house, just get the kids and go, and well she was talking to him on the internet, and just kinda pushed the kids out and shut the door before I could do anything.

 

My oldest daughter also got a birthday card from him? I mean he has not even met my wife yet, and they are in love? I am just drilling it in my head that its over, she keeps stringing me alone, and that is going to stop. From now on if she wants me she knows how to get a hold of me! I am making a stand this is crazy, am I the only one that thinks an internet relationship from overseas, when she is still married and he is still married, and he is supposedly going to move here and work, so they can buy a big house together, and bring his daughter over here half the time, all this telling my kids that he may be their stepdad, and him talking to my oldest daughter saying he is not trying to take my place, and all of this before she even meets him? Is this crazy?

 

They have been talking off and on I guess for 3-4years, and I know some times these things do work out, I just have to think at this point there has to be some things built up, some type of fantasy? I know it sounds like I wish this would fail and yes I do, but I am still done!!

 

Any thoughts on this fantasy?

[eyeswideopen]

It all sounds strange to me my friend. IF they haven't met.. only chatted.. and your wife is allowing this guy from Sweden to actually talk to your children... I'd have a pretty big problem with it. For one, I wouldn't be calling her my wife anymore and two getting the children out of there. I'd have to agree it's pretty crazy.

[coollady1957]

H4S,,,,,,,, Good for you on chosing to get some backbone about yourself. You do need to stop being a doormat so to speak,. She is stomping all over you . It is time it stopped. I re read back on your other threads and I just honestly think its over between you two. I hate to sound negative, but I really think that is where this is headed. You deserve so much better.

 

They seem to be making quite a lot of future plans. I agree that sometimes things are not quite what they seem once you end up meeting a person face to face. I am not sure how much of this you could call a fantasy on their part. I can understand your wishful thinking that things will fall through once they meet. But even if they do, how much do you really feel you can trust her then ?

 

Obviously she is unhappy some where in the relationship with you, or else she would have NOT carried on with this guy for three to four years and now has plans to meet him. The fact that she is allowing interaction with the kids ,from him, whether through letters, phone call's , cards, etc, is really uncalled for and unacceptable at this point.

 

I feel for you, I really do. I can only imagine the hurt and pain you must feel knowing she is going to meet him.

 

I wish you the best outcome whatever that may be. Just have all your bases covered to protect yourself if this comes to divorce. I think you are in for a lot of heartache to come. Stay strong and determined in what ever happens.

[CluelessGuy321]

Yeah. You're a doormat.

 

Set some ground rules. Log/record this whole situation. If it ever comes to divorce, you'll have the upper hand.

[annie24]

I agree with coollady.

 

Unfortunately, you are not even her second choice. you are more like her last. I am sorry if that sounds harsh.

 

even if she meets him and things don't turn out well between them, she won't go back to you. she will just meet another man off the internet, who is in germany, alaska, wherever.

 

I think that you need to do whatever you can to take care of your kids. do not expect your wife to come back to you. she sounds horrid.