a love/hate relationship

[miticalzz]

hello, just wondering if anyone else feels this way. one day i hate my boyfriend and so want to end things. the next day i love him. i go back and forth and back and forth. i think about the things that he does that make me so mad and what i could do to change it. then i realize that it isn't going to change. he doesn't want to compromise. every time we fight he stays on top. then i get all pissed off because he got the better of me. i really want to end things and walk away because i'm tired of feeling this way. just want to know if anyone is going through something similar?

[darklich14]

I've been in your boyfriend's position before... And it sucks. It sucks for him. To have to always be right. You can't count on him to change. And especially not in a relationship. Sounds like if you're so up and down about it, it's probably not right and you're convincing yourself in the meantime to make it right. I'd consider a break from him. Except I'm not with him... and I'm not gay... and I'm not you... So that's just my two cents. Take it for what you will.

[Lady Bugg]

I think what you're doing is having a power struggle.

Needing to be right, or in control is a MAJOR issue. You will

be like a hamster on a wheel if you keep this up. Give up the need to be right

or have control . I am not saying to submit to whatever HE wants...

but you'll be amazed at what the simple words "Ok , you're right" will do.

 

As for what your b/f does that you wish to change..I'm sorry but there is nothing you can change about someone else. You can tell him something bothers you, and either he will respect you and change or he won't. Again, trying to control what you cannot is pointless.

[Holiday]

Does he ever apologize?

[JJRadical]

What you are experiencing is quite normal. Hate and love are closely related. The fact that he won't compromise is the reason you are attracted to him. If he started giving into your demands you'd probably dump him cause you wouldn't respect him. Most guys, as is obvious by this forum, will

attempt to please their GF if they are insecure...he is a winner. Stop with the drama...

[Momene]

I've managed to hate the behaviour at times, while still loving the person underneath.

 

Nice to get it right sometimes.

[Sad_now]

I have the exact same problem. One day I want to dump him, the next I want things to be normal between us. I have tried telling him what bothers me, but he doesn't want to know and doesn't do a thing to change it. In my mind, that means he is not willing to put in effort into us. He just tells me I am spoilt and chilidish. Either way, I am not happy this way and feel stressed and miserable most of the time

[Momene]

I have the exact same problem. One day I want to dump him, the next I want things to be normal between us. I have tried telling him what bothers me, but he doesn't want to know and doesn't do a thing to change it. In my mind, that means he is not willing to put in effort into us. He just tells me I am spoilt and chilidish. Either way, I am not happy this way and feel stressed and miserable most of the time

 

Time for an ultimatum.

[HardShowingAffection]

To be honest with you guys... this sounds like it is directly from some of the books that I have read.

 

Read:

"Relationship Rescue" by Phil McGraw

"How to Get the Love You Want" by Harville Hendricks

 

This is a classic example that is faced by thousands of couples. There is a solution! Read... read... read. If you are willing to work with your partner... key words... work with, not change... I think there is alot of hope.

 

If your partner is open to working with you, even better! I am willing to bet if you read both books, and apply some of the processes within them, your relationship will be 100% different. For the better! If your partner is willing to read them as well, you guys will be a MUCH happier couple, and will probably laugh at the issues you used to have.

 

Trust me on this one... read the books... it will turn your relationship around! Then you can thank me. If I would have known this stuff when I was with my gf, I wouldn't be where I am at now.

 

Good Luck!