i won!

[annie24]

it's a part of my * * * *ing memory. and i refuse to discuss this with you. i seriously wonder if you have been bullied or are just pointing out an isolated incident where a kid accidentally hit you on the head with a rake. because most people who have suffered bullying, understand IMPLICITLY.

 

well you are posting on the internet, so it sounds like you do want to discuss this.

 

and, yes, I HAVE been bullied. That was the first instance. I had another girl up in my face, every single day in middle school, "I'm gonna kick your * * *, I'm gonna kick your * * *" she just kept repeating that over and over again. I thought she was pathetic. I told a teacher, and that took care of the problem forever.

 

These are just a few incidents. I had also a ton of nasty, totally untrue rumors spread about me in high school. Rumors like I had sex with 4 guys in one weekend! Funny, because I was a virgin.

 

He didn't "accidentaly" hit me with a rake. It was on purpose because I was white.

[teacup]

and what did you learn from this bullying?

 

?

 

let's see, let's look at this poor little boy and what happened to him because of it. do you know another word of bullying is ABUSE? that's right, abuse of another human being. but bullying isn't destructive and we should all just get over it right?

 

link removed

 

 

 

i don't let bullying define me or my life. especially now that im grown. those bullies were just nasty and mean and pathetic. but yes, when i recall it, i can still get quite angry.

 

i would say that's just a natural, normal, healthy reaction.

[annie24]

What I learned was that some people are just mean jerks. That they are not bullying me because I am prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, richer, or poorer than they are. They are bullies because they have some serious issues in their lives that have nothing to do with me. I refuse to let someone make me feel bad just because they have their own self-esteem issues and bad homelives.

[teacup]

yeah. they're not bullying you because of you but you wouldn't feel some satisfaction at not turning out to be any of the things that you were labeled as???

 

most of the time, i don't even feel much anger or resentment. most of the time, i just feel disgust. and i barely think about it anymore.

 

another thing....i hear ppl say "i don't let this or that affect the way i feel"......hmm, i think feelings just come up. i don't think we control how we feel. we control how we respond to our feelings, but not the feelings themselves.......so this letting or not letting yourself feel, either you are repressing or not in touch with ur feelings. either that or you are speaking about the way u respond to feelings.

 

if someone was hurling rocks at you everyday....(extreme example), you may not want to let urself be bothered by it, but i guarantee you would still feel it. in time, you would be affected by it, like it or not.

 

furthermore, as a young adult, it's easy to brush it off now, and to not care, and to deal with it and understand it. but it certainly wasn't easy when i was a innocent naive child and was extremely confused. i didn't even realize what racial differences were.

[teacup]

btw, im sorry that i was so angry and had a nasty tone to what i was writing. i shouldn't do that.

[annie24]

it's ok. just know that we are trying to help you out.

 

you know, if teacup had never been born, all those bullies would have just found someone else to pick on. don't forget that. it was less about you than it was about them. that's why we don't want you carrying this anger around.

[teacup]

thanks.

 

well, i know they would have targeted someone else and in fact, they did. i remember seeing this girl in high school (she targeted me too probably so they wouldn't target her). but she had developed massive self-esteem problems. i always wonder if it had to do with that school.

 

btw, my elementary school got shut down which i find kind of unusual.

 

i don't go around carrying all this anger. in general i feel positive and happy. but if i speak of it or remember back......yes, i can get very heated. for some reason the emotions are able to well up and come back.

[annie24]

I am guilty of this myself at times, letting my emotions take control of me.

 

Just last week, I went on a really horrible horrible first date, where the guy made me feel really bad about myself. Basically, he was a player and was dating 5 other girls at the same time and he was telling me he was having a hard time juggling all of us.

 

I should have just beem like, "whatever, you're a jerk" and left. Instead, after the date, I went home and cried to RayKay and DN. I didn't even go to a party I was invited to later that night because I felt so bad about myself, that a man would go on a date with me and dare to talk about the other women he finds attractive. it made me feel like, I wasn't attractive or interesting enough to keep his full attention for 5 minutes.

 

And because I felt so bad, I didn't go to the party later that night (he wasn't supposed to be there), but still. DN was encouraging me to go, to not let this one jerk ruin my day, but I couldn't listen.

 

I feel better now. A lot better! But I shouldn't have let him ruin my weekend like that. I should have just been like, "whatever, you are lame" and just left the date and gone straight to the party.

 

It's like that quote by elanor roosevelt: "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." You are ultimately in control of how bad someone makes you feel, and for how long.

[teacup]

that's true. im sorry to have gotten so riled up. i tend to get carried away but it's a very emotional topic for me, apparently. well, all's well now. =P

 

and about the guy......there's this new movie coming out called "john tucker must die". (i think) starring ashanti and couple other girls.......and it's about the exact same topic. a guy dating 5 girls at once, until they all decide to team up and get revenge. mabe you can go watch it.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I do know what you mean teacup - about wanting to look back and say, "ha ha" I got better. I turned out OK. I'm not a loser despite your best efforts to make me feel like one.

 

I DO think those feelings are "normal."

 

The difference is in actually taking so much joy in it that it becomes corrupt, as in Frasier's case. He clearly had some un-resolved issues. As did I, and they surfaced when I actually came face to face with one of my bullies in my adullt life.

 

He was normal. I wasn't. I'm working toward it now, but suffice it to say, the encounter was very embarrassing......for me, not him like I'd hoped....

[arwen]

I understand Teacup, it was (and still is at times) a very big issue for me as well. I still sometimes get bullied by very young boys. Isn't that strange? I am like twice their age, and they can tear all wounds open somehow.

 

I think what you are going through is not a negative thing, you are in the process of dealing with this. All we can do here is try to be your friend, and tell you how we dealt with what we feel can be similar issues.

 

Ilse

[CluelessGuy321]

*pets your head*

 

d'aww

[teacup]

*pets your head*

 

d'aww

 

paws off buster! *socks you*

 

j/k.

note to self: if u want friends, u MUST stop punching ppl.

[CluelessGuy321]

You live around Southern California?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I don't like hearing that you were a bully. Whether the bully was in pain or hurt doesn't mean that they had any more right to take their aggression out upon a innocent person.

 

Oh yeah, the abuser i met, he used to beat up kids for their lunch money. Ugh.

 

I never physically touched people.

 

And it was never Random people, it was amoungst friendships that have soured.

 

I should also mention that I am on a constant Reforming Mission.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Im with you on this and no as well, its good to see thows that hurt you full by the road side, but the truth is I met and old bully some years back and he was happy to see me. I asked after his life and he had done ok but after I time I asked about his bully me to which he said "we where all bulled back then I still hate this kid who bullyed me." I just felt sad for him after that he was still in hate mode. I know then I had grown a lot more than him over the years.

[Derge]

You cant judge someones life by how there looking or what jobs there doing. I bet you can think of 100 things you did as a kid that you regret I have and im only 17. Life is not a game and if it was its one where you try and beat your own highscore not like tennis but pinball.

If you are like you say you are living a good life then it had to long lasting effects other than the trauma. I would not be the person I am now without being teased a little. Ive had my head kicked in a few times but it builds character.

I believe a child is incapable of evil and just ignorant and is why children dont get tried as an adult. For all you know these people may feel guily for what they were like and are now very different people to the jobs you got. I know you think that most of the comments on here including mine are dissing you but Im glad you won now you can put it behind you what I suggest you do though is start chatting to them or something and see if they have changed.

[Rain__man]

I think everyone who has had social issues in their past gloats a bit inside when you see your old tormentors/ fake friends/ etc. still working at starbucks when you're on your way to an actual career.

 

I would be willing to bet it's just as unhealthy to deny that you are human, and DO have that ugly side as it is to dwell on it in a win-lose point of view.

 

I agree with Dirge about everything in your past making you stronger... you probably wouldn't have challenged yourself to be what you are if it weren't for the people who didn't think you were worth it back then. In a very real way, I have a lot to thank my old enemies for, and so do you.

 

Cheers,