gay co-worker crush

[gayboy25]

I am male, 25 and in the closet.

 

There is a male co-worker at work that I know is gay (he hadnt told me and I hadnt told him). I started saying hello to him and asking him how he's get on with work related things.

Then he kept staring and glancing at me regularly - we just seemed to look at each at the same time. He also made a point of getting my attention a number of times.

But since I am in the closet and shy I got nervous with his intense eye contact and kept looking away. I even started avoiding him and he seemed to avoid me - but after all that I still maintained a good friendship and kept talking to him depsite not knowing him that well.

 

He has never asked me if I am gay - and the whole situation got me down so much I made a fool of myself one day and said,

"Can I talk to you sometime - I could do with some advice' he was so distant I just said ' it doesnt matter'

Now I never see him he just seems to avoid coming anywhere near me - the glances are still happening but not as often.

[brando]

I guess this can be related to a boy liking a girl. I know the dynamics are different, especially if you havent disclosed with anyone about your sexual prefrence.. Perhaps if he too is afraid to come out with his prefrence.

 

I don't know for sure. Or maybe he just isnt interested in you.

[arwen]

Maybe he is involved with someone? That wouldn't mean he isn't attracted, but would explain a somewhat distant reaction when approached at a more personal level.

 

If he is no longer in the closet, assuming that he has no knowledge of your preference, he might be shy around you on a personal level if he is attracted to you. Are you scared of telling people at work about your sexuality, or are haven't you told anyone at all?

 

Ilse

[brando]

Nicely put Ilse, much better than my approach...

[gayboy25]

I dont tell anyone about being gay, I thought I could trust him enough to discuss it with him.

It did seem he really wanted to get to know me even if it was just friendship -but it did feel I was doing the talking sometimes.

 

Maybe I am worrying about the whole situation too much - it is not like we have much time to talk in work anyway.

It just feels very stressful and frustrating because he has changed his attitude so abruptly.

 

I dont wont to confront him about it.

[phantomwolff85]

It might be that he was interested but then felt like you weren't and so he moved on. Even if that is the case, don't feel bad, it's not like he communicated any better than you did.