8 months of nc and he calls......

[troublegal05]

Wow...my week has been very stressful. Things have finally been going well for me, I recently got a job and I've finally got my panic disorder somewhat controlled. When out of the blue Yesterday by ex calls me...(This was 3 days after my birthday.....)

This has left me soo confussed, because he was the one to call me up and break up with me. He said he just ran accross my number and decided to call me. It was really akward though...We had small talk, and asked each other how things were with school, and with careers. I was soo confused though because he asked me if i wanted to do somthing with him that day. I had to say no because i had church that day but....He was talking to me like a friend or like we were back together. I'm not sure what his motive is. I only spoke to him for 10 minutes or so, but from what i got from our conversation is that he was bored or somthing...or at least thats what his excuss was for calling me...Its just soo weird...i kinda got the feeling that he might have wanted to get back with me.....What should I do? How should I handle this...I'm not sure if I still have feelings for him ne more, because right now i'm dealing with panic disorder and my emotions are all out of whack right now......I told him to call me back later next week if he still wanted to do somthing with me....WHat was his motive for calling me after 7 months of nc...?? I'd appreciate any ideas as to why he could be doing this from a guys point of view....

 

thanx in advance...

[ocrob]

You will never know what his motives were. Maybe he missed you or was lonely or just needed a friend. I say that you don't contact him and if he contacts you, then be straight forward. Tell him that as far as you are concerned things are over and you are not looking to be friends. If he says that he wants to try again, then tell him you need to think about it. Figure out what you want and then make it clear to him that you will not be there for him whenever he needs a friend. If he truly loves you or wants you back, then you have to decide if this works. Be nice, but make him squirm. Make him earn it. I am not suggesting to be fake or play games, but he needs to prove to you that he really wants you. Us guys have no problem pursuing what we want. He needs to tell you what he wants and prove it to you. If he is just looking to say hello and hang out for old time sake, then tell him no if that does not work for you.

[annie24]

You never know what his motives were. Maybe he was cleaning, came accross an old photo of yours, and became nostalgic and wanted to see how you were doing. Until he says, "let's get back together," assume that he doesn't want to. It will be easier on your spirit if you just figure it's over and done and if he changes his mind, he'll let you know.

 

(in other words, everything ocrob just said! )

 

good luck

[GottaLetItBurn]

I would wonder what would be your motive to do something like that?

 

Put yourself in his shoes, but reverse everything. Whatever he did towards you, imagine yourself doing that. If he was the dumper, then think of what if you dumped him. Then you called him 8 months later, what would be the reason?

 

I don't know what to really say, maybe he does want you back. It's just that people play these little games all the time now days it's hard to know. If people could just be straight forward it would be easy to find out.

 

Maybe you should just ask, why are you calling me? Then if it's a BS answer say, No why are you really calling me?

 

This girl has called me a few times on and off and then out of the blue at the 8 months mark of me not hanging out with her. I was wondering how someone that knows they crushed you could be so fake to call and try and be friends without acknoledging the fact that they hurt you. Hopefully it was nothing because the second time around is usually a waste relationship wise from what I've seen.

[joyce1412]

it definitely sounds like he's checking up on you, but for what reason you cannot know. i think he wants something from you--maybe to get back together, maybe friendship, maybe just someone to keep him from being lonely. but again, there's no way to really know right now.

 

that's good that you told him to call you next week. then at least you can see if he's serious about wanting to see you and not just having a lonely night. if he remembers, calls, and still wants to hang out next week...at least you can know he's not being SUPER flaky. also, you're showing that you're not dropping everything you're doing just to hang out with him. good for you!

 

best of luck!

[troublegal05]

Thanx everybody for your replies....I guess you guys are right...I need to wait it out and c if he calls me back next week...I'm not sure if i'm willing to get back with him, cuz after all he dumped me. But I'm hoping maybe things will work out for the best, whether its us getting back together or staying good friends.

 

Wish me luck...and thanx again