I might already be in too deep...

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

I've been seeing this girl for 2 or three months now. She's fun and all, but I don't know if I really love her. In fact, I'm not sure how interested I am at all.

 

Two days ago, we tried to have sex, but it didn't work out (metaphor: trying to fit a banana in a ginger ale bottle), and maybe it was for the better.

 

Since the beginning I've been hoping that I will develop feelings for her. She's boisterous, cute, and a very sweet person. I still haven't. I recognize any feelings I have towards her are strictly physical, and I know she feels stronger about this than me.

 

Either way I know I'm going to hurt her. If the relationship continues, and we continue things physically, I know I will have to let her down at some point. If I cut things off, she will be heartbroken.

 

To complicate things, I work with her. I'd have to see her everyday afterwards if I broke things off.

 

I care enough about her to end it before we get in too deep (which, I feel we may already be), but I care about her enough that I don't want to make her cry. What do I do?

[I_KicKed_keNNedy]

Oh, I want to mention that I've been getting pretty close to another friend. She's living with her 4 year BF and she tells me she's looking to get out of it, but she can't because of financial reasons (her current job doesn't pay very well). We've gotten pretty close and we've made out several times but I recognize she might be using finances as an excuse to "get the best of both worlds" by enjoying his stability and financial support and then turning around spending most of her time with me.

 

I don't think this is why I'm hesitating to get involved with the first girl, but I recognize it is a factor too. I really like this other girl a lot, and my family likes her better too, but I doubt its really an option considering the circumstances...

 

$#!t... I don't know how I feel. Maybe I'm just being a jerk. Who knows?

[Hope75]

Are you supposed to be commited to the first girl?

 

If you aren't feeling anything after 2-3 months, it's probably not going to change, and ask yourself what you would want if the situation were reversed. It seems the only fair thing to do is to break it off with girl #1. Staying with someone out of obligation isn't fair to either of you, and imagine how she would feel if later she found out. I know I wouldn't want to be anyone's charity case.

 

As for girl # 2, that is just a landmine if you ask me. She's been with her bf for 4 years, is cheating on him with you, and who knows how honest she's being about why she isn't leaving him. Bottom line is she's already shown poor character by cheating, and if she does end up leaving him, having just gotten out of a long term serious relationship, she is going to be in no place to get involved in a healthy, honest relationship with anyone.

 

Do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself about the girl you are dating now, be honest with her and end it, and create some distance between you and the involved girl. You'll be better off that way in the end.

[shorty20]

I think you need to just sit her down. Say "look, you're a great girl. I love spending time with you but I just don't think I can go any further with this. I care about you enough to not want to hurt you anymore than I already have, but I don't see our relationship going any farther than it already has. You deserve someone that can love you and appreciate you just as much as you can them." anywayz, just speak from your heart and tell her the truth.

[teacup]

awww....how sad

[ocrob]

I think you should be honest with this girl and tell her how you feel. You don't have to just break things off. Tell her how you feel at the moment and find out what her thoughts are. If she is looking to get serious and you are not, then tell her. You are not really at the point of a break up because it does not sound like you are boyfriend or girlfriend. Just let her know that you don't know if there is a future and if she wants more, then she can make that decision.

 

Robert

[Momene]

The 2nd girl shouldn't even come into it.