how to ask him to go south

[SAMRA2]

HOW CAN I NONVERBALLY ASK MY BF TO GO DOWN ON ME?we've been together for 3 months now and i perform oral on him but he never did it to me.well i never suggested it, i was wonderin if he has anything against it personally. we dont have sex yet so oral is usually as far as it gets(and some fingering). how can i hint to him that i would like him to return the favor?

[RayKay]

Why can't you ask him verbally? It's probably a good idea to let him know you want him to do it, rather then just pushing his head down and squeezing your legs closed to force him too

 

Just next time he is kissing you or touching you, tell him how much you love to feel his tongue down south. See what happens.

[Daddy Bear]

the first thing that comes to mind if you want to indicate your desire nonverbally is to point to his mouth and then to your crotch. if you want to be a little more subtle, maybe get a finger wet and then place it up to his lips with some eye contact and a sly smile. if he jerks away, you'll know that you have a problem child on your hands.

 

but i don't see that you should be embarrassed about asking him outright if he's into it or not. women have needs, and it's not like you haven't done it for him already.

 

good luck with this!!

[Relationship Coach]

I agree with RayKay, talk to him and let him know what you want. You need to establish an open line of communication whether it be in the bedroom or at the dinner table. Whispering passionate desires and wants in to his ears may be another turn on. Auditory senses can go in to over drive too!

 

RC

[nottoogreen]

HOW CAN I NONVERBALLY ASK MY BF TO GO DOWN ON ME?we've been together for 3 months now and i perform oral on him but he never did it to me.well i never suggested it, i was wonderin if he has anything against it personally. we dont have sex yet so oral is usually as far as it gets(and some fingering). how can i hint to him that i would like him to return the favor?

 

1) The first he has to learn is to enjoy his own produce. So, after he finishes, you do not swallow it but keep it and kiss him dumping it into his mouth.

 

2) You ask him to fondle you and eroticaly lick his fingers.

 

3) When he is getting close you turn into a 69 and stick/rub your price into his face while you continue on him.

 

If he is unable to handle it, you tell him he should go home wanking and that I hate chauvenists.

[Cute Band Rat]

Hahahaha Notto..THAT'S funny...but HEY, whats good for the goose.....

[Dako]

Email your post to him.

[Cute Band Rat]

Actually, I'm in favor of pushing his head down and putting him in the death grip with your thighs...nothing like a good HINT...

[nottoogreen]

Actually, I'm in favor of pushing his head down and putting him in the death grip with your thighs...nothing like a good HINT...

 

What if he bites?

[Daddy Bear]

1) The first he has to learn is to enjoy his own produce. So, after he finishes, you do not swallow it but keep it and kiss him dumping it into his mouth.

 

oh HAIL no!! i don't pull sneak attacks on women with a mouthful of their own juices unless i know they like it, and if i EVER get a taste of my own potential offspring without warning, my partner will get it back right between the eyes!!!

 

___________________ *draws the line*____________________

[ReadyorNot]

Ive read some posts where people dont know how to say something to their bf/gf AND I have spoke to a few friends having problems in their relationships and cant ask something.... I dont get it... I wouldnt be with someone I couldnt talk to.... I think maybe in the first month of my relationship with my husband I couldnt say some stuff to him.. but after that.. if I couldnt tell him what I want, or expected then I couldnt have been with him all this time...

 

Just tell him what you want! Tell him if he gets oral sex, then why shouldnt you too!

[ReadyorNot]

oh HAIL no!! i don't pull sneak attacks on women with a mouthful of their own juices unless i know they like it, and if i EVER get a taste of my own potential offspring without warning, my partner will get it back right between the eyes!!!

 

___________________ *draws the line*____________________

 

Yeah.... thats pretty mean.. I would never do that...... that would be just awful!

[nottoogreen]

Ive read some posts where people dont know how to say something to their bf/gf AND I have spoke to a few friends having problems in their relationships and cant ask something.... I dont get it... I wouldnt be with someone I couldnt talk to.... I think maybe in the first month of my relationship with my husband I couldnt say some stuff to him.. but after that.. if I couldnt tell him what I want, or expected then I couldnt have been with him all this time...

 

Just tell him what you want! Tell him if he gets oral sex, then why shouldnt you too!

 

Yes, mimiterminator

[Pixiemeat]

The ideas of getting him to taste you first are good ones. Maybe he's not into the taste, afraid of the smell or whatever (in which case you've got an issue). I wouldn't push his head down, just do the tasting non-verbal thing, or tell him how much you'd love it if he did it for you. Good luck!

[BellaDonna]

I think when any new sexual activity is going to be introduced, it's better to ask verbally, instead of expecting to have your partner read your mind. You don't have to make it boring either (i.e. hi. will you go down on me?) You can word it in a more romantic way.

 

Sometimes if you want to suggest something new- it's better to talk about it when you're NOT being physcially intimate. Ask about it at a more neutral time because it allows you to get a real response from your partner.

 

I think that if you talk about it and he is willing/comfortable to try giving you oral sex- then after that when you're physcially intimate it's perfectly fine to give non-verbal cues like playfully knudging his head down, etc.

 

 

BellaDonna

[tylercdurden2004]

oh HAIL no!! i don't pull sneak attacks on women with a mouthful of their own juices unless i know they like it, and if i EVER get a taste of my own potential offspring without warning, my partner will get it back right between the eyes!!!

 

___________________ *draws the line*____________________

 

 

Man were you reading my mind on this one. Give her the ole crazy eye.

[piegirl]

I had this same issue with my BF in the beginning. Then one night I told him that I thought he should return the favor. I did not have to go into any details. We were messing around I started to give him oral then stopped and just said " I do this for you when do you think You are going to do the same for me." Worked for me.

[jabele]

Email your post to him.

 

Thats really funny! I like that

[SAMRA2]

i think i might take the advice of belladonna and just ask him playfully in a neutral situation when sex isnt involved. i am afraid he'll say he doesnt like it..in which case should i stop givin him oral too? i know what his argument's gonna be: he thinks that if we prefer different things then even if he doesnt like goin down there and i do for him then i shouldnt stop simply coz he aint doin it to me. to him its a matter of personal comfort with the thing. but to me i think that if he wont do it(even if its out of personal unexplainable unease) then i shouldnt do it back(even if i do like it)..so guys whats the more reasonable argument?

[Dako]

These hints all work:

 

Grab his ears and steer him there.

Walk up and plant it in his face.

Back into his nose while attending his needs.

Sit on the dining table and ask him to take a seat.

Wear a gob of whipped cream on it.

Sit on his chest until he gives in.

Start wrestling and put him in the "Earmuffs of Doom" hold.

[nottoogreen]

i think i might take the advice of belladonna and just ask him playfully in a neutral situation when sex isnt involved. i am afraid he'll say he doesnt like it..in which case should i stop givin him oral too? i know what his argument's gonna be: he thinks that if we prefer different things then even if he doesnt like goin down there and i do for him then i shouldnt stop simply coz he aint doin it to me. to him its a matter of personal comfort with the thing. but to me i think that if he wont do it(even if its out of personal unexplainable unease) then i shouldnt do it back(even if i do like it)..so guys whats the more reasonable argument?

 

You have seen the discusion. A loving relationship relies on mutual satisfaction. It looks like he is some chauvenist which just want's your body.

 

The tricky is how to resolve it. If you stop giving, he feel's pushed and that will be counter productive.

 

You learned here about technicalities and have to spend time with him to educate him about the feelings of a woman. He loves you he'll learn. Give it some weeks and see.

[Daddy Bear]

LOL Dako, you forgot 'straddling his face while he's sleeping'.

 

but i do think the playful approach during a non-sexual moment might be the least uncomfortable way--to both partners--for S2 to broach the subject.

 

i, for one, am crossing my fingers for her and would like to hear how it goes.

[Dako]

I agree with notoogreen. If it's important to you, it should concern him.

Sex should be about sharing, or he may as well do it himself.

That's a thought.

[Daddy Bear]

I agree with notoogreen. If it's important to you, it should concern him.

Sex should be about sharing, or he may as well do it himself.

That's a thought.

well, either she should ask him if he does it or he should ask her if she likes it. it's possible that he just hasn't brought it up because he's used to a girl taking the initiative in that area.

 

somebody, do something!!

[monkey1]

When my boyfriend first brought it up, we had just taken a shower together which is a good time to suggest any oral contact. He asked me nicely, ha while touching himself, "Do you want to go down on me?" The thought of it turned me off, but that's because we had just started having sex and he was my first partner. I was thinking "Er, it's too soon."

 

Other ways he's hinted at me without actually telling me, he would do the whole guiding my face towards his crotch when I was stroking him, like if we were lying down. It kind of bothered me because I felt pressured to do something I wasn't comfortable with, mostly because I didn't know how to give oral to him and I find his penis intimidating since I'm still trying to figure out how it all works. I did it the last time he visited since he went down on me and even though I didn't want to, I figured I could at least try it even though I didn't know what I was doing. Ha, I only lasted maybe 10 seconds. But he was glad I think just the fact that I went in, even if it was for a short period of time.

 

Anyway, I suggest just asking him and if he says "Hmm, no." ask him why he doesn't want to and hopefully he'll be honest with you. I told my boyfriend that when I did it to him, I was totally uncomfortable and he said he enjoyed it a lot. He said it just takes some practice and he loved that I tried it.

 

It's really important for you not to pressure your boyfriend into going down on you. Just try to talk to him and figure out why he doesn't want to. It's probably best to do it outside of the bedroom and try to make him comfortable enough to open up. Talking about sex is hard just because it's such a personal thing and people feel self-conscious about their bodies.

 

I told my boyfriend the next time we have sex, he has to educate me on his penis and what he wants me to do because I think that will make the whole act less intimidating. It's important to know each other's body because it makes sex less scary I think.