Outcasted Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 i have recently been daing this girl who is a virgin, we tried having sex only once and we didn't get too far as it hurt while I was putting it in. When we tried having sex today, even before I Mentioned anything about having sex, she mentioned something about not wanting to have sex now, just as I was getting into bed with her. I'm kind of worried about sex being a problem, I also don't have a lot more time with this girl, maybe a month and a half (MAX). So waiting and taking it slowly is not an option. Being that I'm sexually frustrated, and have little patience when it comes to sex, and don't care much if I lose this girl (please don't get on my case or FLAME me, about being honest about myself).. I feel like just telling her "if sex is going to be a problem, then I'm not going to see you anymore. I'm not sure why but I feel like being aggresive about the situation, but not sure if thats the best way. Remember my goal is to have sex not to be a nice guy. Because being a nice guy can mean "no sex", because i only have max a month and a half of seeing this girl, probably more like a month. I'll also note that I have the upper hand in this relatoinship, so pressure will probably work.. But not sure if this is the best way to go. I'll also note that I'll be moving far away from her, and don't want any relatoinship after I move. She doesn't know this of course, but should be ovious anyway. So if anyone has any workable ideas please share! Remember, everyone says, be honest and be honest about your needs etc. Well I want to be honest with her and tell her that "sex is important", and if i'm not sexually satisfied I'm dumping you. This is honestly how I feel, and I'd like her to know this. I also Edit this in. I think I'm a bit pissed off in that she is making me feel uncomfortable by rejecting sex, like she did today even before I mentioned anything about it. I just realized this as why I'm not happy about this whole situation. SO not only is sex going to be difficult but she is also rejecting me! Think about this. Link to comment
avman Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 This is honestly how I feel, and I'd like her to know this Then tell her and give her the chance to find someone else a little more compassionate about it being her first time. Since sex is all you want and you obviously don't care a bit about her or what she might be going through I think you should find someone else. Link to comment
CharLit Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 Are you for real? You want to pressure this girl into losing her virginity with someone who couldn't care less about her? Do you realise you could do her serious emotional damage? Do not hurt this girl like this. You seem to think that dumping her is somehow worse than taking her virginity under pressure and then leaving her in a month and a half. My advice: if you're just looking for sex, go and find someone who wants the same thing. The girl you're with deserves so much better. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 it sounds like you're not that interested in her. I bet you would do both of you a huge favor if you just left and didn't take her virginity. she deserves a man who will be patient with her. for some females, losing their virginity is a very painful and difficult experience (it was for me!) I think she will be better off with a man who will go slow with her, and you will be better off with a woman who is not a virgin and can have lots of sex with you without pressure. my advice: break it off. good luck Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 One thought. Coerced sex is rape. Break it off with this girl, do the least damage. Link to comment
avman Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I'm not sure why but I feel like being aggresive about the situation, but not sure if thats the best way. Oh my, I missed this part. Please tell me you are kidding, because if you aren't and you actually go ahead with force I will personally track you down and see to it that you are arrested. Link to comment
Slacker Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 my advice: break it off. Theres a load of women out there just looking for fun (sex), persue them it'll be quicker. trust me, your conscience can rip you down years after doing things like this. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 yes, there are a lot of other women who are looking for a summer fling, nothing more. to force a virgin to have sex with you is.... like avman said, criminal. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I'll also note that I'll be moving far away from her, and don't want any relatoinship after I move. She doesn't know this of course, but should be ovious anyway. It is not obvious. lots of people have long distance relationships. I think you are leading her on if you don't just tell her that you are not interested in long distance right off the bat. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I'm kind of worried about sex being a problem, I also don't have a lot more time with this girl, maybe a month and a half (MAX). So waiting and taking it slowly is not an option. Being that I'm sexually frustrated, and have little patience when it comes to sex, and don't care much if I lose this girl (please don't get on my case or FLAME me, about being honest about myself).. I feel like just telling her "if sex is going to be a problem, then I'm not going to see you anymore. A lecture is pointless. So young, so cold and no compassion. It is so sad that there are men of your attitude which just break women. Kindly utilize the services of an inflatable plastic doll to be had for a fistful of dollars. Link to comment
Siriana Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 How come that this post is on the site? It should be deleted. I don't think that members of enotalone are here to give advice that could help in taking advantage of someone. Till now I never saw a post like this on this site and because of that I am a member of this forum. I liked the answers on the post, but sincerely I really doubt that they helped. If someone openly asks some help in taking advantage of someone, I don't think that the person has enough moral to understand the given advices. Link to comment
Outcasted Posted May 28, 2006 Author Share Posted May 28, 2006 Oh my, I missed this part. Please tell me you are kidding, because if you aren't and you actually go ahead with force I will personally track you down and see to it that you are arrested. I don't mean aggressive like forcing her, but I don't think there is any legal ramifications of saying, "if I'm not sexually satisified i'm moving on".. This is what I meant by aggression. But aggression was probably the wrong word, pressure is the better word. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 Being that I'm sexually frustrated, and have little patience when it comes to sex, and don't care much if I lose this girl (please don't get on my case or FLAME me, about being honest about myself).. I feel like just telling her "if sex is going to be a problem, then I'm not going to see you anymore. The last sentence really gets to me. I've had guys give me a similar attitude. In truth, I physically can't have sex with a man unless I love him and trust him. I can try to convince myself that I trust him, but deep down, I feel that something is wrong with the situation. She probably knows deep down that you are just using her, which is what is stopping her from having sex with you. Us women can have some very strong gut instincts. Please leave her alone and find someone else. Link to comment
CharLit Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I don't mean aggressive like forcing her, but I don't think there is any legal ramifications of saying, "if I'm not sexually satisified i'm moving on".. This is what I meant by aggression. But aggression was probably the wrong word, pressure is the better word. You are still making a threat as to what you'll do if she doesn't give you what you want. That is coercion and it's cruel and criminal. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I don't have much to add, as the other posters summed it up. This girl deserves someone better than you, who will respect her and her wish to take things slowly. I'm sure she knows deep down that you are using her and she is most likely rejecting your advances to test you to see if you will stick around. Do yourself and her a favor and find someone who is also just looking for sex. She's a virgin and vulnerable. Since all you want is sex, there's other options like paying a prostitute. Then you get what you want without hurting another person. It also sounds like you need to get some morals and/or maybe a conscience. Link to comment
Outcasted Posted May 28, 2006 Author Share Posted May 28, 2006 You are still making a threat as to what you'll do if she doesn't give you what you want. That is coercion and it's cruel and criminal. It's not criminal to say, I'm dumping you if I can't be satisfied sexually, because she has the option of saying "NO". So its not criminal. Maybe you think it should be criminal but thats a different story. Yes I gues its is coercion, but I'm just being honest with her.. Remember she has the right to say "NO" and leave. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 If I were her, I'd rather be dumped than be pressured into having my first time with someone who could not care the least bit about me. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I'm just being honest with her.. No, you are not being honest with her. You haven't told her that you are just in it for the sex. We all think that you should be honest with her. What you are doing right now is coercion and it's cruel0X . Link to comment
brownie Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I think its extremly rude that you would even consider saying this to her.. "leave because I need to get layed". Leaver her alone!!!!!! Let her loose her virginity to someone who loves her and will take the time and efford to make her first time a beautiful experience, instead of something she might have to go see a therapist for.. she is young and vunerable dont mess her life up, instead go find someone who is interested in one nightstands!! Link to comment
avman Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I find nothing wrong with two people who have sex solely for the purpose of having it provided that both people have the same expections. But this girl is being used by you, plain and simple. And thats wrong no matter how you look at it. If you want casual hook ups then go find someone who wants the same thing. And have at it. But I'm not about to tell you how to destroy this poor girls life by having you pressure her into sex just so you can drop her like a bad habit in a month. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 Why do you feel the need to have sex with this girl so badly you'll happily mess her up? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 link removed link removed These are websites for sex partners only. Leave this girl alone. Go to one of the websites instead. Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 A virgin woman worse nightmare this man.What comes around goes around. Link to comment
Bethany Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 She's one of the lucky ones..She wants to wait for her 'The One' and good for her for sticking with what she believes in. Surely you can understand that and remove this pressure? You're not and never will be her 'The One'. If you push her, you will ruin everything for her, and you will probably just feel sick and guilty after it. Not good things to feel when the deed is done. Set her free, man. You know you should. Link to comment
reality_writer Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 dude lol.....if you're just looking to get laid, you shouldn't be trying to do that with a virgin. compassion...would be helpful....... however.......if you trick her into having sex than that is pretty low. tell her, t hat you're just looking for sex, and that you're leaving soon. and IF she really is just looking for sex too, then it will work out but dont' lead her on..... Link to comment
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