Really not sure how to handle this guy......

[Scout]

It's just that she actually has ammunition in this case, and doesn't have to put up with it, which is essentially what smiling and ignoring him require. People have witnessed this jerk making inappropriate comments to her. If the company doesn't back her up, then she has leverage to sue them for it.

[mgirl]

I guess if she has rights, why not. I guess i have always worked for people who i haven't had rights with. But, if you have rights, by any means... go for it!

[Arielle]

Alteer-

 

I think people are giving you very good advice as far as reporting the incidents and trying to take care of the problem right away. I think you can be armed with the knowledge that you are in the right and he has no reason to treat you like dirt.

 

Once per month I used to work with another department on routine month-end projects. I would usually get my work for that department done by about 2:00 pm and there were no problems. Then a new manager was hired for that department, and the manager turned out to be the brother-in-law of the owner. All of a sudden, according to the brother-in-law, the very survival of the company hinged on me finishing up by noon instead of 2:00 pm. He wanted me to show up for work two hours early on those mornings.

 

To make a long story not quite as long, he did everything he could to make my life miserable. My manager told me not to change my hours, but to my knowledge he never told the brother-in-law to back off from me. Because of remodeling, my office was in a secluded spot and Jack- * * * brother-in-law knew he could say whatever he wanted without any witnesses.

 

I knew I had to deal with him right away. I told him that I couldn't stop him from saying what he wanted, but I was not going to respond to him. I also told him whenever he stepped foot in my office I was going to call in witnesses and followup with full reports to my manager. He stopped direct contact with me, but he had his other ways of harassing me, mostly through directing his staff to stop cooperating with me.

 

The happy ending was that several months later he was fired after hours. I happened to still be at the office and I saw him walking to his car awkwardly trying to balance two boxes on top of the other. A co-worker called and told me he was fired. I walked out to the parking lot and asked if I could help carry one of his boxes. He gave me a "if looks could kill" look and didn't say a word.

[alteer]

Thanks for all the advice guys. It helps to get other perspectives.

 

I don't want to do anything rash...so I'm going to go over all of your responses again and come up with a plan. Although as of today I will be documenting all unacceptable behaviour and take it from there.

[mgirl]

I think Arielle's answer is the best. I would follow her advice (ignore mine!). But what a good feeling watching him leave .

[alteer]

I think Arielle's answer is the best. I would follow her advice (ignore mine!). But what a good feeling watching him leave .

 

Well at first glance your advice sounded great. A little vengeful......which was the kind of mood I was in at the time. But after careful consideration decided it would not be the best route to take.....

 

But yes....Arielle's answer was very good. Hahaha fancy going to ask if she could help with his boxes LOL.........

[Scout]

Lol, I thought that was a good one, too! Oh, and I also laughed out loud at Carnelian's comment that she would have had his car towed. Heee hee! What's also funny is, my boyfriend said the same thing when I told him about " a post I read on the site I always visit."

 

That actually would have been hilarious. Too bad it would have ended up getting you fired...maybe.

[mgirl]

Oh, hehe! My advice was based on fighting fire with fire, but Arielles advice of taking the offensive route by only letting him speak in the presense of another authority, or witness, is the type of action of what i was alluding to. You have to show them, in an indirect way (but it is also direct), that you will not be messed with. But i think your idea about having a strategy first is a good one because if you jumped in head-first, you could get yourself in to trouble. Bullies bully people becaue they like to unsurp you, throw you off your centre. They think that once you become this way, they can do anything they want with you. Sometimes i think it is all about who loses their cool first. The loser is the one who loses it first.

[RufusDawes]

Maybe just approach him .. and say HI ME WANTS TO BE FRIENDS Y NOT U FRIEND TOO !!! - then talk about how you go home early to look after your kids. Then something like i know its pretty funny but i don't like it when you make comments about me and porn. B/c i don't like porn it is nasty.