What to do to spice up one's sex life?

[adidas7fire]

I've been trying to think of new ways to please my boyfriend... different positions, new things that are erotic and get him in the mood more. Does anyone have any ideas they can share? He doesn't like the bondage thing so that's outta the question and he's more of the type to be emotionally and spiritually connected during love-making than "just getting off" or "being satisfied." Since we seem to only be intimate once a week, I want to do something to knock his socks off and hopefully get him in the mood more than once a week. He's finally done with college so that's a huge stress reliever and was a factor to the amount of time we had for each other. So any ideas would be great. Thanks!

[LostInMyThoughts]

You can try role-playing. Thats always fun.

 

Or have you asked him what his fantasy in bed is? Ask him, then wait a bit, then try to create it for him.

 

Adult films also help spice things up.

[adidas7fire]

Yes, I have asked him... and we have even incorporated adult films into the mix... but he's really insecure about his current physical appearance, even when I tell him I think he's the most gorgeous guy I know. But until he feels good about himself, I don't know...

[LostInMyThoughts]

Have you enacted his fantasy in bed? (Don't have to answer that, but if you haven't and its plausible, how about that?)

[adidas7fire]

Well, to be honest, I think that if I tried to create his fantasy in bed, then he'd ALWAYS be picturing someone else in bed with him and no longer me. That's one of my biggest fears with role-playing and whatnot... especially when he closes his eyes. I mean, how does one get over that??

[LostInMyThoughts]

I understand your fear, it's a very legitimate concern. But you have to take risks to get the rewards--can't let the fear control your decisions. You know that if you let things continue the way they are; its only going to lead to problems--so it's up to you to be proactive even if it means risking having your boyfriend wanting you to spice things up more often.

 

Role-playing doesn't necessarily have to involve being "different" people, but different roles. Dressing up in a costume is a good way.

 

Like a college professor, and a unruly student.

 

Or a doctor, and a patient; or cop and guy trying to get out of a ticket.

 

I'm no sex-therapist, but I believe that sex gets dull because it becomes too routine to quickly. Certainly new positions help spice things up. So the key to making things more inventive is to change up your routine.

 

Maybe put on a really sexy strip show.

 

Or try to find a public-place to do it (i've been partial to elevators--or my boss' desk The risk of being caught might be enough to jump start things.

 

 

What ever you chose; I wish you the best of luck. Sex is no fun when it becomes old hat.