dealing with a controlling bf

[miticalzz]

please tell me what you think. i have been in a relationship with a quite controlling boyfriend. i care for him alot and have put alot of time and effort into the relationship. recently he has shut me off because i had come to him with a serious problem that i have been having. because he is not there to support me i have run to another man for support. i feel quilty and i love him but he is just not there for me. i'm hoping all this will pass but it has been going on for about a month now. i started NC and have not contacted my bf for two weeks but yesterday i caved and ended up calling him. he was very short and rude on the phone and i can't figure out why he is behaving this way. i always listen to him when he is having problems but he just isn't there for me. i found myself liking this other man but only thing that i wish my bf would be as nice as he is. i can't move on with another guy because it just doesn't feel right or comfortable. can i stop his controlling behavior and why do you think my bf is breaking down?

[miticalzz]

hi dako

i had something really bad happen to me about a month ago. i called my bf up sobbing and when i told him what happened he got pissed. he said he wasn't mad at me but was sick of all the drama. he won't even allow me to talk about it. i needed comfort from someone and i got it from another man. i feel bad for going off to another guy but i wish i would have gotten comfort from my boyfriend but he won't give it to me.

[DN]

recently he has shut me off because i had come to him with a serious problem that i have been having. because he is not there to support me i have run to another man for support.

Not a good idea. Don't you have a girlfriend you can talk to - or family?

[amtjrtcet]

Well, if he knows you're seeing someone else that's probably why he was short and rude. Esp if you cheated on your b/f with this guy. There is never an excuse for cheating, if the 2 of you had problems with him not being there for you or putting in effort, you should have worked that out w/him or broke up with him b4 you started anything w/the new guy.

Might I add, the grass may appear to be greener on the other side of the fence (meaing the new guy) but keep in mind, you don't have a past with the new guy, you have nothing negative to think about him b/c he is NEW.

All relationships go through communication problems, but if you can't work that out between the 2 of you then you're not relationship ready.

[miticalzz]

all i did was kiss the new guy. it wasn't even a french kiss or anything. i did enjoy his company and his attention tho. but i guess my point is that i wish i got this kind of attention from my boyfriend but right now i'm not. and i don't understand why he is shutting me out because of what has happened to me.

[DN]

all i did was kiss the new guy. it wasn't even a french kiss or anything. i did enjoy his company and his attention tho. but i guess my point is that i wish i got this kind of attention from my boyfriend but right now i'm not. and i don't understand why he is shutting me out because of what has happened to me.

Does he know you kissed this guy?

[DN]

And does he know that your family doesn't like him?