How many people here has this happened to?

[alteer]

I consider dumping someone by email, phone or by suddenly ignoring someone and pretending they never existed to be really bad form.

 

I have always done the breaking up in person, as I believe it is the right thing to do, and the least bit of courtesy you could show the person you once cared about.

 

So I'm curious to know how many of you have been dumped in these ways?

[tmp0620]

Going through something sorta like that right now, and it's making me feel horrible.

 

I'm in a weird situation with this girl, but she just won't respond to me anymore. We've known eachother for eight years, and we're not going out or anything so she's not "dumping me" per se. I even texted her something like "okay I get it goodbye" and she won't even say goodbye to me.

 

I'm hoping she's just not getting my texts for some reason.

 

I don't think dumping someone by phone is as bad as dumping someone over the internet and I don't think dumping someone over the internet is nearly as bad a simply ignoring them. That is a horrible thing to do to somebody.

[Iceman26]

I consider dumping someone by email, phone or by suddenly ignoring someone and pretending they never existed to be really bad form.

 

I agree with this, except in situations where the dumper is dating a psycho that could create a scene or become violent.

[alteer]

I agree with this, except in situations where the dumper is dating a psycho that could create a scene or become violent.

Hmmm you have a good point there Iceman. But if you know the person isn't a dangerous psycho?

 

Being ignored seriously stinks. That's what I'm going through now after a lengthy relationship. And he knows I'm no psycho....

[tmp0620]

I think some people just don't have the "nuts" to be upfront and honest and would rather just pretend like they dealt with the situation nicely even if they didn't create any kind of closure at all for the other person. They don't want to feel bad.

[Slacker]

I've dumped a few people like this, usually when someone is very hard to get a hold of, or violent, or just doesn't "accept it"

suddenly ignoring someone and pretending they never existed

i used this technique in high school, it's got the advantage of easing the let down for the other party.

[Iceman26]

Well, if you know the person isn't a psycho, then of course I'd suggest in giving them the courtesy of a personal break up.

 

I think the people that don't do that either feel that if they ignore it, it will just go away. They care more about themselves than the person in the relationship. That, or they just aren't strong enough to do it in person.

[tmp0620]

i used this technique in high school, it's got the advantage of easing the let down for the other party.

 

That is not "easing the let down", it's being a coward and treating them like something less than human.

[Iceman26]

I've dumped a few people like this, usually when someone is very hard to get a hold of, or violent, or just doesn't "accept it"

 

i used this technique in high school, it's got the advantage of easing the let down for the other party.

 

I did the same thing. But then again, when I was that young I didn't really have long term relationships (because I felt that long term relationship are pointless when you are that young) so I didn't really think it mattered how I broke up with them because I hadn't dated them for that long.

[alteer]

I agree with IronLion on this one. It doesn't ease the let down at all for the other party. It's actually more hurtful for them.

 

I also think that it is a form of selfishness. Your right they don't want to make themselves feel bad. I know breaking up with someone is hard but it's harder for the person being dumped (especially if they had no clue it was coming). The dumper has already kind of come to terms with it.

[Slacker]

That is not "easing the let down", it's being a coward and treating them like something less than human.

Yeah, but i think it helped them in the sense, they realized what a jerk i actually was, and it made me a bit easier to get over. It takes a very strong and mature person to break up face to face. especially with honesty and tact.

[tmp0620]

Yeah, but i think it helped them in the sense, they realized what a jerk i actually was, and it made me a bit easier to get over. It takes a very strong and mature person to break up face to face. especially with honesty and tact.

 

I really don't think it usually works that way (I guess I could see it working in highschool between two people who are not overly serious about relationships). If they were seriously into you they might be really mad at you for ignoring them but they wouldn't start hating you and have their feelings for you completely reversed. It's a very cruel, immature thing to do to someone.

[Slacker]

It's a very cruel, immature thing to do to someone.

Yeah, we all make mistakes though. I didn't take my younger relationships that seriously. I regret hurting people the way i did, and i'd say im a more considerate person for it.

[Guarana Galrok]

I've had 1 girl completely ignore me.

[tmp0620]

I wasn't trying to get on you for doing that to people in highschool or anything, most people do grow up... but it always hurts to be on the receiving end of that kind of stuff.

 

Hurts doesn't it galrok?

[dopexile]

I recently had to dump all of my friends... and I just cut them off. My best friend seemed to have problems keeping friends. I would talk to people that used to know him and he would run through friends for about 6 months and then they wouldn't want to have anything to do with him.

 

So when it came time to move on a few weeks ago I just blew him off. I consider myself to be the nicest person ever.. and if I felt there was some way to continue the relationship then I would have.. but I can't sit down and have a guy to guy talk with him about some of the mean things he's done..

 

so to me it wouldn't make any sense to try to spell things out for him why I don't talk to him anymore. The rest of the friends I cut off were people I met through him, that he would manipulate and probably talk * * * * about me behind my back with. So I don't talk to any of them either.. but there's always a hope that maybe when things settle down I can make ammends.

[jabele]

Yeah, its definitely a cowardly thing to do to do it in that way, but it also depends on a lot of factors. How long you've known/dated them, how they treated you, how often you see them, etc. I mean, if you only dated someone for a week, is it really necessary to tell them in person? In this case, a simple email would suffice. However, if we're talking 2 years, I'd sure hope you would at least do it over the phone -- and you should then arrange to meet in person to discuss it.

[Motley_Crue]

I feel your pain Iron Maiden White Lion. What are you going to do? Try again or let it be?

 

I am going through very similar with you. For two years I was close 'friends' with this girl. We would spend many days together and for whatever reason she hasnt been answering for a month. I told her on her answering machine that 'i dont know why you are hiding on the phone but it only reflects bad on you'. I probably wont bother anymore, I dont know. What sucks is there is no closure so I am just wondering where she was coming from.

[Lady Bugg]

I had a guy do this to me last year. I lost any ounce of respect I ever had for him, because it showed me he had NO respect for me, and he had NO sense of integrity at all. I have more respect for someone who is honest enough to say 'You're not my type, go away" than for someone who disappears and ignores you. Ignoring someone is basically saying you are not even worthy of dumping......and it DOES leave a lot of loose ends and a very messy ending. Needless to say, things got very ugly in the end. I called him what he is...a complete A-hole.

[tmp0620]

Motley Crue, when you say "Iron Maidon White Lion" I'm guessing you're talking to me, heh. I'm gonna try to get a hold of her still, but I'll try not to bother her too much with it. I won't stop though until I get her to talk to me, even if it's just to say "I don't want to talk to you anymore". I would just like to hear her reasoning before we stop talking completely.

 

I have more respect for someone who is honest enough to say 'You're not my type, go away" than for someone who disappears and ignores you. Ignoring someone is basically saying you are not even worthy of dumping......

 

I completely agree, I'd rather have someone tell me to F*** off then for them to ignore me. It's just such an all around cruel thing to do to someone.

[Scotcha]

My HS sweetheart dumped me by an e-mail after almost a year and a half together. To this day I have no idea why he ended things. At the time I was so confused, so crushed, and it took a very LONG time for me to get the closure I needed. Ah well. He was an immature coward and that's how I think of him to this very day.

[spunkmaster]

wow...I haven't had good experiences with ANY of my breakups. My HS sweetheart (we dated 2.5 years) tried to break up with me over the phone; I had to almost make him come do it to my face. Sad thing is he only lived two blocks away from me at the time. Then my next serious boyfriend did the disappearing act for a month, and tried to make a reappearance in the middle of January, because he for some odd reason thought we were still dating...um, no. My newest ex sent me a message thru myspace a few days ago saying that he didn't want to deal with things anymore and he was done.

 

Apparently, I have a thing for cowards? haha.

[alteer]

wow...I haven't had good experiences with ANY of my breakups. My HS sweetheart (we dated 2.5 years) tried to break up with me over the phone; I had to almost make him come do it to my face. Sad thing is he only lived two blocks away from me at the time. Then my next serious boyfriend did the disappearing act for a month, and tried to make a reappearance in the middle of January, because he for some odd reason thought we were still dating...um, no. My newest ex sent me a message thru myspace a few days ago saying that he didn't want to deal with things anymore and he was done.

 

Apparently, I have a thing for cowards? haha.

 

OMG spunkmaster....this is terrible. Damn cowards

 

This has only happened to once....very recently after a 2 1/2 relationship. I think I've been through all the emotions now.....and right now I'm just mad, mad, mad.

 

I repeat....damn cowards.

[Motley_Crue]

Iron let us know what happens eh? Good luck!

[GottaLetItBurn]

I really don't think it usually works that way (I guess I could see it working in highschool between two people who are not overly serious about relationships). If they were seriously into you they might be really mad at you for ignoring them but they wouldn't start hating you and have their feelings for you completely reversed. It's a very cruel, immature thing to do to someone.

 

 

It's called Karma.

 

what goes aroud comes around. If something like that happens to her, whether she believes in Karma or not. There will be a feeling that she did something to deserve it, then it will feel 10 times worse.

 

I think the guy was lucky to that she left because would you want to be with someone who acted like that. I agree with you on you comments towards Slackers approach to dumping someone.