I fall so hard so fast...

[xcountryprincess]

So, i'm beginning to notice a trend in my affection patterns that's really disturbing me. I seem to fall for people that i can't have, such as my teachers or my best friend (both times girls). It's not like a little crush either, it's literally obsession.

 

Lol, now i don't go like crazy stalking my male teachers because i recognize my feelings for what they are, obsession. The issue is really when it comes to a close friend, i don't realize i'm obsessed till it's too late, and i have to pull away so they don't get freaked out. It hurts too, because each time i feel this obsession a whole host of emotions come along including jealousy, anger, and frustration which i can't exactly explain to a friend.

 

I'll almost ruin a great friendship because of my obsession with the person, straining it with odd arguments when they get a boyfriend or i feel another friend of theirs comes before me. Now granted this friendship thing has happen 3 times, it's not as if it's with every friend of mine but it frightens me. What makes me so suseptable to obsession? Why m best friends? Am i making good friends with people that i'm actually really attracted to and use friendship as a way to be close with them?

 

It hurts so much having to let go of the person and the emotions tacked on are draining.

 

In regards to the Teacher issue, it seems there's always been a teacher i've been head over heels for, and i simply crave his attention. It really doesn't help that it's normally the flirty good looking male teacher (i go to an all girls school) because he's flirting slightly with all the girls and it annoys me if i don't feel like i've gotten his attention at all that day.

 

Lol, i know this is wrong, they're teachers, grown men and i'd never even try and pursue anything with them it's just a crush, but they're such intense crushes and i get jealous so easily.

 

So i guess my question is how do i stop this obsessive behavior, how do i stop craving attention from these particuar people? And why do i end up having crushes/obsessions with my best friends (girls!)? (yeah i know i'm probably bi, but i just don't get why it's always the best friend)

 

It just makes things so akward and i can never explain my jealousy/anger to them (because i'm not exactly going to tell my friend i'm obsessed with her) so they think i'm just acting like an ***hole.

[btbt]

It's good that you realize that your feelings are obsessions and not in proportion to the situation. How do you stop this? I think this takes a lot of emotional discipline. Every time you recognize this is happening you have to will yourself to stop. Therapy might not be a bad idea. Cognitive behavioral therapy is really great at identifying destructive thoughts and redirecting them.

 

It sounds like above all you need a good friend. Maybe if you had a really strong friendship to fill your emotional needs, you wouldn't fixate on a person so much. Good luck.

[Alabama]

If your emotions are this strong with your best friends, then perhaps you really are feeling something more for them...or it could be that you need someone to fill your emotoinal needs. Spend time with your friends, but if you notice that your obession grows, then back off, until it cools. When was the last time you were in a relationship? The emotions may derive from that, since you haven't dated someone in a while, your emotions may cling to whomever is closest to you, emotionally speaking. If that's the case, than are you big on dating, at all?

[xcountryprincess]

I haven't ever had a real boyfriend (i'm 16) and it used to really bother me. I'm starting to be ok with being single, but i have thought that could be the issue. I've wanted a romantic relationship for so long that really could be part of the problem. It seems like when i get into what i feel to be a "special relationship" i guess i look to see if it could be romantic. I'm getting better though, now that i don't feel that i NEED a boyfriend i'm not getting as attached to people. I just want to make sure it stays this way and i feel like i can only do that by really understanding why i cling to people that way.