Picking the pieces....hear me out please

[notanymore]

Its been about two months since I called of my relationship with my girlfriend ,as much hard as it was for me to do it I just could not take it any more.We are togerther at college and started going around about an year ago.I really cared about her and would go overboard giving in to her demands.I just wanted to be with her 24/7.Then one day she comes up and tells me , " we are not compatible". I ask her what I can do to change myself so that we become more compatible,which she could not say.She started spending time with this guy ,notably the biggest flirt on campus and lied to me about it all.I told her to be careful and not get carried away.I thought maybe she needed space and some time on her own I did not delve much on it.And as luck would have it things got so out of hand that she strted two-timing me.I felt betrayed,but I could not speak it out with anyone.We had a common group of friends who couldnt care less about what was going on.I lost my appetite and lost about 15 pounds in a month, was forever lost in thought , I asked myself what have I done to deserve this.I could not push myself any further.she was lying on my face.I just could not stand her sight,for her nothing had happened, she kissed me ,spent time with me and talked to me as if nothing had happened, sometimes forcing me to reconsider whether this was all a big misunderstanding and i was just being too overprotective.Then one day I broke down , could not bear see someone I loved so dearly cheat me and use me like a doormat.I decided to call it off.I thought ,things would get better but the void and her presense literally drove me nuts.I became a recluse not eating , not sleeping just suffering.I was numb for days together.I did not wish to call it off at all but I wanted her to realise how much i cared for her.During the course of time she looked as normal as one could be and I was a total wreck.I just could not imagine that she was no longer a part of me.On the last day of the semester I asked her if we could give it a second thought, cos i missed her more than ever and the realisation that we would be living in separate cities for the next 3 months made me ask her to reconsider.she said maybe and left.We still remained in touch and messaged once in a week, though i took the initiative.Last week I came to know she was going around with another friend of mine .Stayin all alone my thoughts keep wandering whether she actually loved me or was she more of a golddigger who used and abused people and disposed them once there was no use for them.The past two months have been close to hell for me.Have just about managed to pull myself together but it just not get any better,things we did together,common songs , all just keep reminding me of incidents, and i wonder, what times we had, could we still make it through.Everyday I tell myself not to think about it anymore but a slight thought makes me heavy at heart,numb and lost in my own web of "if only " thoughts.They say it ll pass, and the sun will shine again, but my question is when,havent i suffered long enough.she is not bothered about my plight.

Was i wrong in loving her so much.Have truth and commitment lost their meaning.I feel betrayed and the butt of all jokes.In another month's time we will bump into each other at college and the thought just sends shivers down my spine.will i be able to face it.I am also sceptical if i will be able to love someone like i loved her.will i ever find true love,is there such a thing as honesty ?please help me grow out of it.Help me forget that she ever existed.I know i have to move on.Please help me pick up the pieces and not look back.

[Scotcha]

Was i wrong in loving her so much.Have truth and commitment lost their meaning.

 

No, you weren't wrong in loving her.

 

Truth and commitment haven't lost their meaning to you but they have little meaning to her.

 

If you had known that she would lie and cheat you wouldn't have thought her to be a desireable partner. Now knowing that she lacks these morals I think you are beginning to see that she is not.

 

It hurts so much to be betrayed and so much of it is out of your control. What you CAN do is choose to move on and find a partner that is deserving of the love you give them.

[I need help]

Hello notanymore,

 

I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing, It is like hell. I hear you. So please try to understand that you are not alone. I know the feeling of going throhg this overwhelming pain.

 

we all have these horrible days when nothing works. And i feel the same way you are feeling that noone can never understand my pain. And i blame myself for being so sensitive.

 

Everyday is a struggle. I often wonder too what did i do to deserve this pain.

Please take care of yourself and cry if you want to cry, please let it out and you deserve better. She is not the right person for you. Do you want to marry a person who you know are cheating already, i guess not so it is better to get heartbroken now that letter.

 

I hope it helps. I myself are going though hell. please hang in there.

[blemished]

Rather than say she is not the person for you, tell yourself she is a piece of sh*t. It helps, because it removes "you" from the picture. It's not that she isn't the person for you, it's that she obviously did not treat you right, regardless of the person she is, was, or will be.

 

Remember that, rather than remember what was.

[thursday]

Hold on to the thought of she cheating and using you. This will be one important element of moving on in your case! Hope is not an option here and you know it!

 

I can't tell you you won't feel very down for quite some time (depends on the person). Though it's a FACT _everyone_ comes back to their original level of happiness. Time is healing your wounds, accelerate the healingprocess by trying to have the least contact you can possibly have with this girl & just as the person above says: cry whenever you feel the need to cry.

 

Take care & read some other threads on this forum from people being in even worse situations than you. Seems a 'mean' thing to do, but it helps you put things into perspective. It will get better, trust me!

[sukerbut]

hey bud..i actually want out of this sight for now but i could not help feeling for you and responding since i also came out of a toxix relationship with a similar type of self centered monster..if you read my threads you will realize that. I commend you on doing what you did..i wish i was strong enough to do what you did..only i became a pathetick fool to her...sure enough we broek up 6 months ago..she is already living with a guy that she started dating 3 motnhs ago.,..these types of people are parasytes..i am sure you saw the red flags a long time ago but you did not want to act on them becasue you were so amoresly in love with ehr as was i..bottom line you did it the right way and i the wrong..so i give you kudos to that...put ehr ina coffen and say good bye...she will just hurt you even more if you get back with her..took me three trys to realize that i was continously being used by her......cut her off completely and dont pine over her like i did for 7 months..not till a couple of days ago i was sending texts on reconciliation without knowing the situation..now that i know i feel like a complete fool..which in turn helped me realize my mistakes...parasyted will feed of their host till you are no longer needed..then they will bounce to another and suck them dry as well...congrats, i bet even though you are hurting and in pain you sleep sounder at night knowing all this uneeded drama is no longer destroying your self through your insides. good luck my friend..i knwo this sucks and i know your pain...its brutal to be betrayed by someone you love so much..but unforunatly that is how life works. it cant be biscuits and gravy everyday...heal and move on..i knwo tis hard, but its the only way..you have been saved from this cancer that was destroying you..I PROMISE YOUTHIS...just a question are her parents happily marreid or does she come froma broken family?

[notanymore]

Dear scotcha

 

thanks for the help.I just could not accept the fact that she has no morals, not because i did not notice them but the fact that i took it upon myself to tell her what is right and what is wrong.no matter how much i tried to convince myself that she went about her stuff as if i was the one at fault.Thanks and i have chosen to move on .

[notanymore]

I need help

 

i m glad to know i m not alone.you have given me hope, this time will surely pass ... i believe.

in fact went through your previous threads and i cried, something which i have not been able to do for these past few months.Trust me i felt better, much better.I was very much like you....over sensitive.I just could not gather wht my fault was.I hope i have found a buddy in you, trust me we will certainly make it through this tough time.thanks for the comfort, i really needed that.

[notanymore]

sukerbut

You re the man.I really needed that, was still in a dilemma whether i did the right thing , u my friend have made me gain a lot of self confidence.I saw the red flags long ago but dismissed them .had gone to australia for a month, missed her like hell, called her up every now n then, she did not sound like she missed me.no way am i getting back with her (trust me , it took me quite a while to write this),but looking at it from your point of view she was in fact a parasite...pushing demanding.I was a state level swimmer,a drummer with the local band.brilliant( so to say )in class, but the parasite got to me. i lost weight, became lonesome ,quit everything and my only comfort was that i had her.which i did not.all this when we were still going around.I got ur point mate, am no longer pushing myself, every new day is much more comforting. the sooner you let go, the better you feel.

 

Dear

thursday

I have cried and it helped.am going through oth3er threads as u told,comforted me that i m not the only one who was used and treated badly.thanks for ur help, will bounce back.i will

 

Dear Blemished

ur point blank advice did help. will try n get her outta my life... and my thoughts..

 

 

Finally to everyone who read my story and the ones who offerd me help.this forum has found me friends and i have found the comfort i was looking for. with your help hopefully i will be able to get over this phase in my life.you have given me hope to just hang in there.god bless u all