clean, clean, clean-- but should i get tested? what about him?

[wee]

hey-

i'm new to the dating scene again. for the past 3 years i've been in a serious relationship. since then, tv has aired a million scary "get tested!" STD ads.

i do not have an std, but as they say-- it can happen to anyone.

so, here i am about to get serious with someone 5 years older than me (i'm 25). should i suggest we get tested?

i wouldn't even know where to go! the commercials just say "get tested!"-- i don't suppose this is something my dentist can take care of, is it?

seriously, do people really have these conversations? i just don't know quite how to bring it up -or- aare those commercials directed towards the more sexually active crowd?

[miracle29]

Yes get tested. You can't look at someone and tell if they are clean. Always go with the first instinct...get tested.

 

ANother thing is..once you get tested and everything comes back clean...if years later you come up with something and you've been faithful....someone else hasnt. Think about it. Its a CYA method.

[wee]

yes, i know how it works. i worried once my ex moved & we started doing the long distance thing. but how do i ask someone to do this? do i go too? where do i go?

[shes2smart]

but how do i ask someone to do this? do i go too? where do i go?

 

It's an uncomfortable but very necessary talk to have. Maybe bring it up just by mentioning the stuff you've seen on TV. And, yes, you get tested, too. It seems.....improper (?) to me to ask someone to do something you yourself are not willing to do. Kinda like you expect them to do all the work.

 

Really, with things as they are these days, it's highly likely he's trying to figure out how to have "the talk" as well. Frankly, I think if you can't talk about doing it (and the possible ramifications of doing it)...you probably shouldn't be doing it.

 

If you look in your phone book for Planned Parenthood, that's a place to start. If they don't offer free/anonymous HIV/AIDS testing, they will know what places do. If there's no Planned Parenthood where you live, many city/county Health Departments offer tests...and you can find their number in the city/county governement section of the phone book as well.

[RayKay]

You definitely should bring it up, and both go. Did you see that sticky post at the top of this page today?

 

I agree that if you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it. Anyone can get an STI, whether they have been sexually intimate with one, or a dozen people. Whether there was penetration or not.

 

You are 25, you should be going for regular ANNUAL pap exams anyway (and if you aren't, that is a concern, and you should begin asap, sexually active or not) so you can contact your OB/GYN to do them. Or call a Planned Parenthood or other local clinic.

[btbt]

Yes, it an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it's more uncomfortable if you find out later that he gave you an STD! Just be straight, even tell him you are nervous about this but it is important to you. Unless he's hiding something or totally reckless, he's probably wondering the same thing!