I don't understand "Love"

[Doctor Smurf]

I know some may say I'm still a little young, but I hope the answers to this will be useful in the future...

 

If I can understand what "Love" or "Attraction" is then I'm sure I'll be able to find it a little easier. I've not been particularly lucky with meeting compatible ladies, and perhaps that has jaded my sense of what girl would be good for me. A particular point I can't grasp is how can I convince myself that a girl with a nice personality and lower looks (And I met one such today) isn't just me sub-consciously thinking she might be more likely to say yes to me?

 

And equally, when I find a girl it will work with for perhaps a longer period of time, when do I realise that? When I meet her, date her, or after weeks or months of going out together? I rarely feel anything hugely special when I try to chat someone up no matter how well it goes, so either I'm emotionally dysfunctional or I'm approaching something in the wrong way.

 

Please, any enlightenment would be hugely appreciated! Doc

[bobo85]

Perhaps you just havent met the right person to fall in love with.

 

When your in love, its when you feel like you care about that person as much as you care about yourself. The true test of love is being comfortable with the other person by being yourself 100% and vice versa. During the honeymoon stage (usually the first 3 or so months) is where people are on their best behavior. But after the honeymoon stage people's real personality begin to creep out and its when you still want to be with that person after the "romantic" stage is when you are in love.

 

Love and pain are directly related. Love does not keep track of mistakes and love is not forever. So when you do experience love, hold on to it real tight and cherish it because you will never know how long it will last.

[tylercdurden2004]

You wont know until you find it thats for sure! My ex taught me how good real true strong love can be! I am looking forward to my next victim...er .....I mean SO!

[Lita43]

Hi Sweetie,

Yes you are young and why in such a big hurry???

Sometime's the younger people will confuse Infatuation with Love and you don't even need to ask this question, as you will know when the time comes.

You may not be able to sleep, have loss of appetite and have constant daydreams about "Her."

Beauty comes from within and it isn't neccessarily what the outside looks like, so I hope you won't be shallow and give miss great personality a chance, cuz you will be able to see a beauty that would go unnoticed without the pretty wrapping.

There really isn't any hurry and I would try to be friends with the girl you met that "Does" have a nice personality.

What would it hurt anyway and you could get a really great friend from it!!!

Just don't give her mixed messages "Please" and lead her on into thinking it would be something more if this is not how you feel.

Enjoy some fun times together, but alway's be open, honest and upfront about your feelings.

If you feel she's starting to be a cling on, be a gentleman and set her straight right away.

It's never right to give a girl false hopes if you don't have the guts to step up and be honest.

See, I'm getting all "Mom" on you now, but it's just some advice for the future, ok?

Just be a good guy and treat the ladies as you would for a good Mom and not saying yours isn't, but hope she really is!!!

Nobody can say when your "Soul Mate" will come into your life, but I think you will need to be older than 16.

I didn't find mine till I was 28 and hopefully you won't have to wait as long, but give it time and it will come!

 

Good Luck!, Lita~

 

God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me!

 

Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

[renaissancewoman101]

Whatever you do, if you do find a girl that is very into you, and you are not THAT into her, dont lead her on, string her along until you meet someone you are more into. That hurts people and you would not want that to be done to you.

 

Otherwise, love is a heady, all encompassing feeling where you feel like you are on Cloud 9 all day long, you think about the person, am happy with life and everything sounds and smells rosier and nicer than they really are.

[FCTex]

It will just hit you one day. Your young.

 

Your mind has to be in the right place, and things have to be perfect.

 

In any case thats how I see it...

 

When I met my ex, I was just out drinking, partying with my friends. One chance meeting, lead to another, and another.. And before I knew it. I was in love.. It just grows on you..

 

I can go out and date and feel nothing special, that means you can't fall in love with someone...

 

 

But love.. Love is everything, and it's anything. Love is unconditional, love doesn't fade, or faulter. It doesn't come, or go, and it's real and life long. It forgives mistakes, and yearns to burn hotter than the day before.

 

You'll know when you feel it, and don't be in such a hurry. Love is a double edged blade. It will cut you open and make your heart feel the ups and the downs of it all..

[Doctor Smurf]

Well thanks very much all, especially mum Lita nice quotes on the end there.

 

I think your right, 'cos of my age I haven't met half enough people to have any kind of chance of meeting a near perfect one for me. I think your also probably right about the girl I mentioned not being for me, as I didn't feel anymore than the usual nerves of talking to someone new! I'll just have to keep looking I suppose.

 

That hurts people and you would not want that to be done to you.

 

I know how that feels becuase people have done it to me - from one of the articles I read on here its something to do with the "nice guy" and not having enough self-respect.

 

Thanks again everyone! Doc