Needs to contact ex for stuff back....but scared to do so...

[pocky_biscuz]

Hey guys...

 

Thoughts of the ex has been haunting me lately. Mainly due to the things i still need to get back from him. We haven't talk face to face since last October and since then there's been LC...and by that i mean 3-4 short short emails....like greetings. And there was this one time (recently) where he checked out my friendster web page. I don't know what all this means and to say i don't care would be a lie. I'm alright maintaining a contact with him as long as i don't see him or talk to him on the phone. Mainly cuz the last meeting we had was a pretty ugly one and the stuff he said was really harsh. Now it makes me scared to even email him....afraid that any words coming out of his mouth would be nasty. But there a still a few things that i want back from him. Things that i can't leave behind cause of other sentimental reasons unrelated to him (ie. a rice cooker that belonged to my late father) My friend just told me to email him. But i'm afraid to see him...........i talked to his mom about it. I should just wait for his mom to come back from her trip to retreive my stuff. I know he's away for school right now........so it's just his parents at home. But now i'm afraid of seeing his parents too..........cuz i dunno what to say to them if they asks about the break up......or me blaming them for having such a horrible son......

 

so stressed..........

[bobo85]

is there any way you can get a friend to get your stuff back and drop off his stuff? This way you dont have to see him and open up any wounds. Sometimes breaking NC can put you back into square one of healing.

[karchino]

I am in sort of the same situation as you are in. He is not really my ex because we never had a real relationship, we are living too far apart, both have different lives. Anyway, the thing is, he is also my landlord, I live in his house. And now my flatmate is leaving (she told me monday) and so I have to talk to him about new contract (that is, if I want a new flatmate) It is business stuff, but still. Am now on day 10 of NC and I know that the fact that he is my landlord has nothing to do with "us". We always kept business and private things completely separated. But now I know I have to talk to him and to be honest, I do not want to! NC is hard to do but I am doing better day by day and to me it would feel like some sort of failure if I have to talk to have again. I do like to have some contact with him again but it is too soon. And it is like Bobo85 says: Sometimes breaking NC can put you back into square one of healing.

 

And I am scared that will happen.

 

confusing,confusing.....

[bobo85]

Sometimes breaking NC can bring you back to square one but it will be faster to go back to ur recovering stage you were at before you saw/spoke to him. You know you are completely over your ex when you can see them and not have feelings rush through your entire body. Just make sure when the time comes where you have to see them, make sure you are strong enough to handle any feelings than might arise.

[annie24]

what stuff do you need back? Do you REALLY need it that badly? Unless it's something very expensive or a family heirloom, I recommend just forgetting it and buying new stuff.

[ffablonde17]

I know how you feeling about this one. At least my ex wasnt kind of guy that say anything mean to me if i come to pick up my stuff. It is kind of oddward for me to answer this. I would ask his parent or your friend to see if they willing to pick the stuff up. A lot of people dont want to get into something that is not their business. Dont forces them to do something that they dont feel comfortable with. If they dont want to do it. I would call police office to ask if you could have one police officer to come with you. They can come with you and watch you to get your stuff. They cant move the stuff for you. They are only there to make sure that you dont get hurt or something happen at his house. maybe this should help?

[Iceman26]

so it's just his parents at home. But now i'm afraid of seeing his parents too..........cuz i dunno what to say to them if they asks about the break up......or me blaming them for having such a horrible son......

 

so stressed..........

 

You don't have to say anything to his parents. Just be friendly, give them a call letting them know there is some stuff of yours you need to pick up at the house. If you feel uncomfortable being alone, bring a friend with you.

[NJRon]

In my experience in dealing with parents after a breakup with their daughter, I have never been treated out of the ordinary. I mean, from their perspective, you are a person that had a relationship with their child... no more or less.

 

I wouldn't stress out too much and just don't talk about anything serious. Be friendly, get your stuff, and go.

[BetterKarma]

In my experience, I would e-mail him a short and to the point e-mail that itemized all the stuff that you want back in bullet form. In the e-mail, ask him to ship it to you and e-mail you the tracking number.