Need advice,so confused

[ilovecats]

Hi everyone.I have a bit of a problem.I've been with my b/f for almost three years and everything is okay.To make this short,there's a new guy that just started where I work and he likes me.And I'm just so confused.I don't know if I should try to get to know this guy or leave it alone.What do you guys think?

[DN]

Leave him alone. Why spoil a good thing.

[cansomeonehelp]

If you want to get to know this other guy, you better break up with your boyfriend first. Would you want him to "get to know" another girl that likes him, while still dating you?

[ilovecats]

I don't know.I'm not very happy in this relationship.And haven't been for a while.It's just that,I know it would be very,very hard for me to break up with him b/c we've been together for sooo long.I mean,I do care for him.That's why it would be so hard.I just don't know.Because I am very interested in this other guy.I can't stop thinking about him.

[DN]

Either work on the relationship so that both of you are happy or break up with him and pursue the other guy.

 

You should not stay in the relationship and pursue the other guy. But you already knew that - didn't you?

[Starfall]

break up first... or take a break from eachother.

You're still young, sometimes it's better to see someone else to appreciate what you do have... but beware...once you figure that out, it may be too late to go back.

I had a similar situation.. Not happy with my boyfriend years ago.. very attracted to guy at work, great chemistry. Got to know guy at work more and more, liked him more and more. Boyfriend did some dumb things and we broke up. Dated guy at work for a while... boyfriend found out....won back my heart and Long story short.. boyfriend and I are married now..

Bad part... loved job, but because of the drama.. hubby no longer wanted me working there. I understand and don't.

[obscurity]

A similar situation happened to me not to long ago. I was having problems with my 4 yr relationship. Suddenly this guy, whom I was attracted to, but never acted on because I tired to work out my relationship, came along. He was/is everything I had been looking for in a guy. Long story short, I knew that I deserved better then all the BS and bad treatment I was given in my past relationship and broke it off and started dating this new guy. Its been 6 months now and I dont regret the decision at all.

[NW Homey]

Don't try playing the middle. By that I mean hang on to one while checking out the other. You will only get burned. If the new guy is genuine he would be offended the you were still with your bf while seeing him and turn off from wanting to see you. Make a chioce of one or the other. By the way 3 years may seem like a long time but it really isn't that long. I've been married 28 years and am in the process of getting a divorce because of infifelity which is what you are talking here in your case.

[NW Homey]

That is infidelity on her part.

[yeawutever]

Liking someone is not infidelity NW honey. No one owns your thoughts, as long as you don't act on them then you did nothing wrong. ilovecats, I would suggest you just him the other guy in your thoughts, never get involved with him. You don't wanna spoil a good relation, then you'll end up really regretting that if it leads to cheating, it's ugly to have the "cheater" label. You'll never get over it if you end up doing it.

[thebiggestmistake]

If you love your boyfriend or may potentially love him, don't throw it away because of a curiosity.

[miracle29]

I disagree. There is such a thing as emotional cheating. Liking someone else while you are with another is not good. It may not be as bad as getting physical with someone...but if you harp on it..things can manifest.

 

Its just like saying....I think about beating children...but I haven't done it yet...J" the thought alone is wrong.

[rashe30]

Sorry, but i agree with Homey, honey you are still to young even though you give great advice. But still you are only 19. Still have much to learn about life and love.

[NW Homey]

My wifes infidelity started with a friendship which lead to emotional infidelity to getting physical. They did not go all the way but may as well have. She didn't take me into consideration any of the time she was with him. It can only lead to no good. I am not saying people shouldn't have the other gender as friends, but when it turns to thinking about them in that way it is wrong and should be dealt with before it turns into something more.