likes and dislikes

[HangingInThere]

My boyfriend of one year just suggested we write down our likes and dislikes for each other - i guess pertaining to the relationship, behavior...just everything overall!

 

Now my question, do you think this is a good idea?

 

What good can come of this - he joke about it, saying that he heard it on the radio and the boyfriend suggested it and then his girlfriend was upset at what was said!

 

do you think we should do this? I said it can be a good idea because now we can lay our cards on the table and perhaps work on some of the 'issues', he agreed!

 

have any of you ever done something like this and what was the outcome?

[xmrth]

It sounds a little grade-schoolish, but I suppose whatever works to get you both to open up to eachother. I think it's better to discuss the issues as they come, and not let it get to the point where an actual list can be made. That's more for the "dislikes," but the likes could be fun. Maybe you should keep it positive and deal with the issues and dislikes outside of little notes.

[PocoDiablo]

Tell him that you like when he doesn't come up with stupid ideas he heard on the radio, and leave it at that.

 

This is just *ASKING* for trouble. He'll be lucky if he doesn't write down something stupid and you beat him. Guys are dumb!

[NJRon]

I was going to suggest the same thing. I don't see a lot of love building coming from listing out each others 'dislikes'. instead, the likes should reinforce positive behaviors.

 

For example.. instead of "I dislike how you don't do anything around the house" say "I like when you help around the house."

 

I would refrain from dislikes about the person. That could create more issues than it's worth.

[RayKay]

I think it's a rather stupid idea, and bound to hurt somebody.

 

Focus on the positive, and work together to solve the negative, but in discussion and through communication, not by creating "lists".

 

I think it may be a good idea to do for yourself if you are considering leaving a relationship and need to put the pros and cons down, but I am not sure about the idea of showing it to your partner. I am sure they really don't need to hear about all the things you don't like about them. All it does is cause resentment and hurt.

 

How about instead you two sit down together as a couple and discuss things that you feel could be improved on in the relationship together, and remind each other why you are also crazy about one another. Don't focus on the negative individual aspects.

 

Relationships really should have ongoing communication when assues arise, if you are making "lists" it is a good sign that that has gone by the wayside.

[PocoDiablo]

If he does this, take his list (don't read it) and use it to start a nice fire and cuddle.