I'm constantly..

[gullible_soul]

I don't even know what.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for five months. I love him so so so so so so so much, and I know that he loves me, too, but I can't help but think negatively when we're apart (and sometimes when we're together).

 

Like.. will our differences come between us? Are we really right for each other? Am I being used? Am I blindsided because some guy is telling me how beautiful I am?

 

And mostly, I always think about how one day he'll wake up and realize how stupid he's been for even considering me as a companion.

 

We've been serious about each other since we first started going out, and I guess that we might have moved too fast, but we're very serious about wanting to be together for a long time.

 

My biggest problem is crying; He NEVER cries. He told me that once, when he was a kid, he cried, but he must have cried all of his t ears because since then, he's only cried once-- and it was the first time that I cried (when we were on the phone).

 

Me, though, I cry all the time. I'm crying as I write this. I don't know why.. he keeps saying that he's not good enough for me because he's not making me happy, but he is! It's just that I can't stop crying.

 

He's the type of person who thinks a person can control themselves with just a thought; If he was a smoker, and wanted to quit, he'd tell himself "I don't need the cigarette" and he wouldn't be addicted anymore. Everything has a simple solution to him.

 

But I'm not that simple. And I constantly apoligize for crying, but I truly, honest to God, cannot stop crying. It's just something that comes over me... the mere thought that tomorrow he could drop me like a bad habit kills me inside.

 

I'm going to see my doctor on the 3rd, but if my legal guardians knew that I was going to talk to her about depression, they'd tell me that I was crazy, how it's all in my head, and i'm full of bullsh*t.

Thanks for listening, and I appreciate anything that anyone has to say.

 

gullible_soul

[Tigris]

You're just feeling insecure about yourself. It happens to all of us at some point in our lives. It is possible that you could be suffering from depression. You mention you have legal guardians and I don't want to pry. Your insecurities could be that your parents aren't around so you feel like you lose everyone close to you? Your boyfriend loves you and it's obvious he's not going to leave you.

 

My advice is take each day as it comes and don't look to far ahead into the future. That's the advice my Psychiatrist gave me and I can assure you that it works. Look after today and let tomorrow look after itself.

 

I think you have made a good decision about talking to your doctor.

 

Good luck and take care.

[gullible_soul]

Thank you so much. You really don't understand the impact that your post has made on me; It's important to me that you replied.

 

Your boyfriend loves you and it's obvious he's not going to leave you.

That line meant the most. I called him and he told me that same thing, but he said it in his own original way.

 

Look after today and let tomorrow look after itself. I will definitely try to incorporate this into my daily thoughts. I've been trying super hard to be positive, but it's hard for me.

 

Thank you.

 

Kearston

[Tigris]

You're very welcome.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Dubzuk]

Well it sounds like u really like this guy, i really think that u should sit him down with u and have a real deep conversation about how ur both feeling, i think u need to stop worrying so much, life is to short to worry, u just need to enjoy every minute of being with him and make the most of it, i really hope that everything goes well