asap virgin need advice for first time.

[rebecca_]

hey

me & my bf have decided to have sex for the first time. i'm still a virgin and this will be my first time, i'm quite nervous about it.

does anyone have any ideas how i can relax, and any tips for a first time ? experiences ?

 

thanks

[southerngirl]

How old are you? Im just curious. How long have you and your boyfriend been dating?

[nikkers04]

well i'm going to say that your first time isn't going to be perfect...if it goes well...your lucky! As long as its with someone you care about thats all that matters...it is something to be nervous about...but if your ready then thats what counts just take things slow and make sure your ready

[rebecca_]

How old are you? Im just curious. How long have you and your boyfriend been dating?

 

i'm 16 & me and my bf have been dating for 7 months.

[rebecca_]

well i'm going to say that your first time isn't going to be perfect...if it goes well...your lucky! As long as its with someone you care about thats all that matters...it is something to be nervous about...but if your ready then thats what counts just take things slow and make sure your ready

 

i trust him & i feel ready. i'm just nervous and need some tips on how to relax, or i've heard that your first time will hurt, is there any way to ease the pain?

thank-you for your advice

[ElektraHere]

Hun, I would hold on to your virginity. It's not a race to the grownup finish line. Take time and just enjoy being a teen.

 

Although, if you feel this is something you HAVE to do then please use protection and know the risks you enter when going forth in this endeavor. STD's, pregnancy, emotional entaglements, etc. There is more to sex then just how good it can be it comes along with some baggage.

Just be prepared in every way.

[nikkers04]

I agree with Elextra you should wait...16 seems ... mature but trust me...your not. but if you must we can't stop you...Use lube take your time let him play for a long time...dont rush it make sure your ready if your not stop...and don't do it yet

[Shadows Light]

Darlin... I'm going to save my breath on the waiting game. Because you are gonna do what you are going to do.

 

Your first time is nerve wracking. Depending on how you educated yourself on SEX Relations... its nothing like you've read and everything like you've read.

 

Your first time no matter how prepared you are is going to be nerve wracking and probably not the greatest experience in the world.

 

One of the first things.. please please please be responsible and use precautions. Having a baby is not the worst thing in the world. You just don't want it happening now. And you need to protect yourself and your partner against anything passing back and forth. Even something as simple as a yeast infection can go back and forth.

 

To relax. Look to all the 5 senses. Sight, touch, taste, hearing, hearing. I'd suggest you choose a "PLACE" that is relatively private that you will have lots of time. Your first time you don't want to rush. Take your time. Lots of time. You've read about foreplay.... well, don't skimp on the make out session your first time. Even though the both of you are raring to go. And then just go with it. Try not to tense. If it doesn't feel right... STOP. Your first time you WILL endure a bit of pain getting through the hymen. And depending on your physical make-up depends on how much of an effort it will take. Relaxation is important. AGAIN... if it doesn't feel right. STOP. As Electra said.. this isn't a race to the finish line. There are so many other ways to enjoy each other aside from intercourse.

 

Darlin... I was a Virgin till age 18. And truth be told... I'd have waited a bit longer after all was said and done. The one thing you should make sure above all else... Make sure that the first time is with someone YOU love and who you feel the LOVE returned. Its special. You will carry your 1st time for the rest of your life. Thats why I noted you take into consideration .. time/place.. and all the 5 senses.

 

Bright blessings to you.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Mainly remember, do not believe the bf when he says if you love me you will do it. Etc.. This time should be as special to you as to him. If your feeling pressured by him to have sex. Then don't do it.

[rebecca_]

thank-you so much for all the advice.

i've been told to use lube, what brand + type do you suggest?

also what condoms would be good ?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I would suggest getting on the pill yourself. Condoms aren't 100 percent effective and neither is the pill but at least you will have a duo protection. Ky jelly is suppose to be good. But if your not well prepared as in plenty of for play before hand. Or if your just not ready period to go that step. No matter what lube you use will not work. You want this time to be special not something thats ackward and leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. This is coming from a mother of a girl who will be 16 in december. I would tell her the same thing.

[yeawutever]

16 only and thinking about it already?? I'm 19 and still virgin and proud, no need to rash. Hold on to it, you can regret it later on. Heard cases where girls lost their virginity at your age and 4-5 years later when they mature more, they regret and wishes they had waited, no there's no going back in time. One of my friend who's gonna turn 21 pretty soon on May, lost it at 18 and she regrets it, say she wished she had waited.

[zpivat]

Wait till marriage.

[yeawutever]

Wait till marriage.

 

Yup, that's a good one. So then you can tell how commited your man is. From lots of cases, some people lose their virginity so young, that when there's a break up or something goes wrong, doens't work out they way they wanted it, then they regreted it and wishes they would have waited.

[Hope75]

I am another vote for waiting, but if you must-

 

get a spermicidal lube (one with nonoxynol 9:

 

link removed

 

and Trojan condoms are fine, or Durex. Make sure they are latex and not lambskin (which are not as effective-unless you or your bf have an allergy to latex).

 

Take things slow, and if at any point you feel you want to stop, tell him.

[monkey1]

I didn't have sex till I was 21 and my boyfriend wasn't a virgin. Let's just say, the sex didn't happen the first time because it hurt way too much. Though I was glad I waited and I had a good partner who didn't try to rush me into things.

 

I'd wait because boy, 16 seems so young to me. Man I feel old.

 

But as everyone has suggested, if you feel you really want to do it, use protection and I hope your partner is very sensitive to your needs because if he's not, it really won't be a good experience.

 

Hope it turns out ok.

[lizylyz]

I'm 17 and i think your virginity is one of the best things to happen to you.

keep it for as long as possible because thats something you should give to the best guy possible not just to any guy.

 

if you really feel its time, then don't plan everything. just have protection and if its not his first time, he'll know what to do. Just do what feels natural and remember that if he likes you and your relationship is good, sex is only 5% of the relationship.

 

don't overthink it. and don't let anyone pressure you.

[rebecca_]

hey

thanks for all the advice. very much appreciated

[Lady Luck]

The first time you have sex you're most likely going to be somewhat nervous, no matter who it's with. Ways you can relax is to remind yourself that you trust him and feel comfortable with him. It should be an enjoyable experience. Actually, if you get really nervous, tell him. If he's a good guy he'll do whatever he can to ease the tension up a little bit.

 

As for the whole pain thing, if you've inserted anything in there while masturbating, you've probably loosened yourself up somewhat. I'm not saying so loose that it's bad, but enough to where your first time wont hurt as much as say, someone who's never even used a tampon. Other than that, have him go all the way in you and stop for a moment until the pain ends. After that, he should glide in and out very slowly, until you decide you want him to speed up. Just make sure you communicate (not necessarily have a conversation about the weather, lol).

 

Hope I helped some

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm not saying sex is something to be undertaken too lightly, and ALWAYS use protection.

 

But..

 

Once you hit 16, there's nothing wrong with losing your virginity (something that frankly I think is overrated) even if - shock - you arn't in a committed relationship. Sex in itself isn't quite as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's a biological act, that takes on as much meaning as you give it. These days, its more a recreational pastime than anything and other elements in a relationship such as supporting each other through hard times and just being great to be around are a lot more important than if/when you have sex.

 

And it usually does hurt the first time . . but it can be a kind of powerful thing to hold onto your partner as you go through it, and it's worth it.

 

Never be afraid to ask your partner to go faster/slower or whatever, most well mannered people would much rather you said something than suffered in silence!

[A_dude]

I was just wondering around trying to do some research and felt like I should post. My fiance and I are getting married in about 10 days now and both of us are virgens. I was looking around trying to make sure I could make it as enjoyable an experience as I could for her because I had heard that it hurt. I am 22 and she is 23 we both made it to this point saving ourselves for eachother and I can't wait to know that this is the one person that has saved themselves for me and I for them. There were a couple of girls along the way that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and could have justfied having sex but I didn't and now I am so glad that I made that stance for myself and my future wife. But just like the other people on this thread your going to do what you feel is right so just make sure that you protect yourself.