I have a question... I did this to myself last night...

[JazzyGirl]

Ok so I have been having a rough time of it lately. I had a counselor and he just switched me over to a different counselor that specializes in certain things that I needed. Anyhow, I just started with her - about 3 sessions I think - and I think she's pretty ok. I mean, she does a good job with me.

 

Last night I lost it. I just wanted it to end. I didn't want to hurt anymore or be sad - I just wanted to disappear. My family went out and I stayed home.

 

I pulled out my vodka and was making mixed drinks - vodka & soda - then I added in extra strength tylenol. 500mg per a pill and I took A LOT - at least 20. Then I found oxycodone from a surgery I had awhile back. I don't know how many I took - somewhere between 2-4 (bottle said to discard June 2006)

 

I started feeling sick and kept drifting in and out of it - like I'd pass out for a moment and then wake up. Then later - a few times - as I started feeling sick and hanging in the bathroom - I'd pass out for a minute or two and wake up. Then I passed out for like 5 minutes. I came back to the computer (I'd been talking to a few people online - they knew what I was doing) but the two people were gone.

 

I went to bed for about 45 minutes or an hour and then woke up. I called my former counselor and we talked for a bit. And later today I have to call my current counselor. I know.

 

The question being... how on earth am I alive, conscious, and standing without having any medical treatment at all? I ceased intake of all alcohol and drugs around 8pm and it's now 9:20am so it's been over 12 hours. I still feel a bit funny - like I'm still shake-y, and I just feel off - like not quite myself.

 

Anyhow, I guess I wanted to check and see what you guys thought. I have no health insurance (and no money) so going to a doctor proves difficult. I mean, I'm alive and conscious so I should be fine, correct?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, the Good and Right Answer is you can't tell how you will be affected in times to come, so a check-up is a very good idea.

 

But this is the real world, and you have no money. And i you havn't had any major reaction within 12 hours...good grief, you were lucky. Something out there really wants you to live. So in your position, I'd be extra vigilant with my counselling from now on, thank my lucky stars Im alive, and never be alone by myself with alcohol and pills when feeling desperate.

[southerngirl]

I agree. Be thankful you are still here. Continue to get help. The very next time you want to do something like this you need to pick up your telephone and call your counselor tell THEM that you want to hurt yourself! They will help you. If it means going to that step do it, dont give into the temptation to end it all, you have been givin a chance and your life does have purpose even if you dont see it yet!

[Spugly Fuglet]

I agree with all of the above +

 

Well if this dos not tell you god or some higher power would like you to stay around then nothing will. You need to have a check up but if after that you are ok then.

 

DONT DO IT AGAIN!

 

I'm being Honest don't P*** off the higher powers, they have a real mean streak and may just do some thing to you 10 X Times as bad any thing your going throw now.

 

So welcome to the walking wounded, and talk to some one befor looking in the pill cabinet next time.

[sophie274]

Hello there

Please get to a hospital ASAP. Tylenol overdoses often produce no immediate symptoms. However, within a few days, you will experience acute liver failure. Below is a quite technical explanation from a website

 

How does an overdose of acetaminophen cause liver injury?

 

The answer is that liver damage from acetaminophen occurs when the glutathione pathway is overwhelmed by too much of acetaminophen's metabolite, NAPQI. Then, this toxic compound accumulates in the liver and causes the damage. Furthermore, alcohol and certain medications such as phenobarbital, phenytoin, or carbamezepine (anti-seizure medications) or isoniazid (anti-TB drug) can significantly increase the damage. They do this by making the cytochrome P-450 system in the liver more active. This increased P-450 activity, as you might expect, results in an increased formation of NAPQI from the acetaminophen. Additionally, chronic alcohol use, as well as the fasting state or poor nutrition, can each deplete the liver's glutathione. So, alcohol both increases the toxic compound and decreases the detoxifying material. Accordingly, the bottom line in an acetaminophen overdose is that when the amount of NAPQI is too much for the available glutathione to detoxify, liver damage occurs.

 

It says that combined with alcohol, the effects are even more serious.

Go to a hospital as soon as possible, RIGHT AWAY. Tell them exactly what you took.

 

 

With suspected acetaminophen overdose, the doctors usually will pump (gavage) the patient's stomach to remove pill fragments. In reality, many individuals who overdose with acetaminophen in a suicide attempt will have taken other pills in addition. Some doctors, thereforeeee, will consider treating the patient with activated charcoal, which binds (and thereby inactivates) many medications. However, this treatment is controversial because of a concern that the activated charcoal may also bind the antidote for acetaminophen overdose.

 

Get help right away. If not, this would most likely prove fatal. If you get help, you could be ok!

[sophie274]

PS. This is a fact that is unfortunately not as well known as it should be, since many attempted suicides are presumed to have failed only for the individual to become violently sick a few days afterwards. I hope you take this warning seriously - you can find it on the internet it is a medical fact. Once you start feeling the effects of liver failure there will be very little time and very little doctors can do. You need to go to a hospital NOW.

 

Good luck. I will be thinking of you.

[Spugly Fuglet]

sophie274 well spotted JazzyGirl your not out the woods yet do as sophie274 says get to a hospital ASAP!!

[ocrob]

I am guessing that you will feel the bad effects of this for a while. I am not exactly a religious person, but maybe this is a sign that you should stay with us for a very long time. I hope you did not do damage to your stomach, but at least you are alive. Keep seeing your counselor and rely on your friends here on enotalone. Maybe or hopefully this was the wake up call you needed. Life can be so challenging, when it is not going well, but things do get better. I always ask myself, if life is that bad, then what are the options? There are so many. If things really get that bad and you are ready to die, then you can do anything. Most of us do not do things because we are worried about the consequences. If you are not afraid to die, then I guess no consequence could be that bad. Instead of looking for ways to die, then maybe you can look for ways to live. I mean maybe you can save up enough money and just take off to another country or just try something new. I tend to be a very conservative person, but think that if I got to that point, then I would just do something really crazy like move to some far away island or something. Anyway, I am glad you are alive and I hope you take advantage of life.

[sophie274]

Jazzy girl, are you ok? Any updates?

[Lita43]

Hi Hon,

Everone hopes you're ok and have alot of info to offer, but need a bit more history on your side to give you proper advice.

I have a picture posted on here that might make you think that I've never had problems, but you just couldn't imagine all of the crap I've gone through for many years.

Life was more than pure hell for at least 33 years of my life and have gone through more than you could possibly know!

We want nothing but happiness and peace for you, so I will PM you and think I can help you alot.

I will also pray for you and hope you are ok!!!!

 

God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Knowledge To Know It's Me!

 

Quote: Every Day You Don't Learn Something New, Is A Day Wasted!

 

Lita~

[JazzyGirl]

Just to update you guys. I am alive. I didn't get to come back on the other day for various reasons dealing with my counselor and talking to her and going to this meeting and being tired and not feeling well.

 

I didn't feel well yesterday. Food made me feel more sick.

 

Today seems better though - physically. My chest has been hurting some - I'd say it's a bit tender.

 

I didn't/can't really go to a hospital because I have no health insurance. To top the problem with health insurance... I have no money. I don't really know what I can do at this point. I thought since I was alive and breathing yesterday that I'm fine. I don't know though. I've downed tylenol before... so... I don't know how my liver is at this point. I haven't had a suicide attempt in well over a year before Wednesday night.

 

I don't know if I can totally pinpoint everything going on with me. It's so much... seems like so much at least. I mean... I had a lot of things just fall apart all at once and to make it worse they all kind of came crashing down on the anniversary of the death of a very good friend so it was a lot of pain just pounding on me. And I let it bottle up and build up and build up until Wednesday night I exploded.

 

Yesterday was a good day. I was even "happy"ish - or content perhaps... and felt bad about what I had done. Today... i'm a bit "eh" not that great. I don't know.

 

I'm a bit fuzzy headed - like not able to think that straight but I will keep you guys updated as much as I can. I don't really know what I can do without health insurance or money... sadly that's the way our system works. There's no healthcare coverage for someone like me - I'm too young with too many pre-existings.

[Spugly Fuglet]

JazzyGirl I really really think you have to go see a doc, there must be some one who knows how you can get to see one. Can any one help with this Im in the UK so dont know the US ways of doing this.

[sophie274]

Hi there

I don't mean to scare you, but please take into account my post about the effect on acetaminophen (Tylenol) on the liver and sometimes kidneys. It could take up to four days for something to manifest itself, but when it does, it could be VERY serious. Please please please go to the hospital.

I understand the problem: hospitals often are very expensive. Do you have anyone who could pay the bill for you (family, friends)? I suggest this because, from a lot of the scientific literature I have found on the internet and from talking to doctors, this could be a LIFE-THREATENING situation. Please go to the hospital ASAP.

[sophie274]

This is more information on the condition: please go to a hospital. Although the money is a problem, it sure beats serious injury/death.

 

Acetaminophen Overdose (Tylenol overdose and Paracetamol overdose)

 

 

 

Acetaminophen is one of the most commonly used over-the-counter pain relievers and fever-reducers. It is also found in combination with many over-the-counter and prescription medications, such as Tylenol Cold, Darvocet, Tylenol #3, and Percocet. Acetaminophen is metabolized (processed) by the liver. When too much acetaminophen is taken, the normal liver-processing system becomes overwhelmed, and the liver uses a second processing system. This second processing system, unfortunately, turns the acetaminophen into a very toxic substance that severely damages the liver.

 

 

Initially often only nausea/vomiting/sweating, then no other symptoms for 24 hours.

At 24-48 hours, liver damage occurs, which can lead to right upper quadrant abdominal pain, jaundice (yellow skin) or icterus (yellow eyes), confusion, coma, kidney failure, and death.

 

 

Taking more acetaminophen than directions call for on the bottle

Taking acetaminophen from more than one source without realizing it

Use of acetaminophen by those who use alcohol or who have liver disease

Suicide attempts

 

 

History of acetaminophen overdose

Examination may show jaundice (yellow skin) or icterus (yellow eyes), confusion, or coma.

Blood Tests:

Acetaminophen level is elevated

Liver test abnormally high-elevated AST, ALT, bilirubin

Kidney tests may be high-elevated BUN, creatinine

Tests may be done to rule out the presense of other drugs.

 

 

Patients with a history of alcohol abuse, liver disease, children above age 6, the elderly, or those who take medications for seizures can develop acetaminophen toxicity at doses near or just above those recommended.

 

 

The stomach should be emptied by forced emesis using ipecac syrup (induces vomiting) or gastric lavage (tube placed in stomach and material in stomach flushed, then suctioned out). Both of these measures need to done within 2 hours of the acetaminophen overdose. Induction of vomiting at home should only be done as directed by a physician or Poison Control.

After 2 hours, activated charcoal is given, binding to acetaminophen to prevent its further absorption.

In the hospital, if the physician determines that the blood level of acetaminophen is toxic, N-acetylcysteine (Mucormyst) is given. N-acetylcysteine is an antidote for the toxins produced by acetaminophen, and may be effective up to 36 hours or more after Tylenol overdose.

 

 

Even without any symptoms, you need to seek immediate attention by contacting Poison Control, calling 911, or going to a hospital. Many individuals have few symptoms early on. Consequently, by the time symptoms develop, severe liver damage may occur, and even death.

[BellaDonna]

JazzyGirl,

 

You need to see a doctor right away.

 

I am alive. I didn't get to come back on the other day for various reasons dealing with my counselor and talking to her and going to this meeting and being tired and not feeling well.

 

Did you tell your counselor about taking those pills when you spoke with her recently?

 

If money is an issue, you are better off going to a walk in medical clinic, than you are a hospital emergency room. Either way, most places have clauses where they HAVE to treat you, whether you have insurance, or money, or not. In many cases they can bill you later and you can pay it off monthly.

 

YOU NEED TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION ASAP,

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

Jazzy,

 

You absolutely MUST go to a doctor ASAP.

 

What you did is extremely toxic to your body. You can for example go into liver or kidney failure, which can lead to a dependency on dialysis, for a transplant, or ultimately a rather unpleasant death. You may feel fine now, but your organs may already be shutting down, and once they do, it will be sudden and life threatening.

 

When it comes to your life, money is not an issue. You can go to a teaching hospital, or to a clinic. They MUST treat you in an emergency, and they can work out a ridiculous payment plan like $1/month for the rest of your life.

 

Please go get help.

 

Rachel.

[JazzyGirl]

Update:

I didn't remember this... all the alcohol and drugs. I was talking to my friend when all this was happening (he lives in another state)... and I talked to him tonight... but apparently I told him that I threw up. I think that was about an hour and a half after taking the drugs and drinking. So that means I should be fine right?

 

There is no one to foot the bill because my family doesn't know and the friends that know are both many many many miles away.

 

I told my counselors about taking the pills and the drinking... it was a mixture of tylenol and oxycodone (and alcohol).

 

If you guys still think I should go to the doctor maybe I can find something open tomorrow - Saturday - like maybe the health department or a clinic or something. I'm not sure what I'd say though since I don't want them Baker Acting me.

 

I don't know of any teaching hospitals or any free clinic hospitals around me though - maybe I can find a walk-in place.

[Lita43]

Hey Hon,

Throwing up today will not take out all of the toxicity in your blood or system and you really do need to go get some help "Right Now!!!"

Look in the yellow pages of your phone book under doctors/physicians for walk in clinics and see if you have Aurora Health Care there.

If you go there and tell them that you don't have any money and hopefully (I am thinking that they will treat you there!)

I think you can file indigent through the court system on the bill, but wouldn't worry about that right now, as your life is on the line and can take care of everything else later.

Seriously, I would advise your parents whether you get along with them or not, because you may not even know or understand how much they care and what they'll do for you. Tell the doctors everything that you've done and don't keep anything secret. They need to know all of it!!!

God Be At Your Side and Will Pray For You!!!

Take action now Hon and don't wait till tomorrow, as you may have one!

 

Love, Hugs and Prayers, Lita~

[BellaDonna]

I think you shoulkd still definitley go to the doctor. Even if you did throw up, I wouldn't risk it. That doesn't guarentee that you got all of it out of your system.

 

Don't wait any longer- please seek medical help TODAY.

 

 

BellaDonna