Is there a honeymoon stage after a break up?

[ryan1987]

is it possible for someone to break up with you and not feel sorrow or depression for weeks or months afterwards?

[PRSOV]

If you did then I guess you wouldn't have had any real emotions or feelings for them in the first place... That is the point or purpose of dating/being in a relationship with someone else, to develop feelings for them! If they were never there in the first place then that's when there wouldn't be any sorrow etc afterwards...

[ryan1987]

no it aint me its my ex, she was under huge pressure while i was going with her, and she became really distant because she needed space but didnt say she needed it until it was to l8, she has not missed me and its been 3weeks, shes been happy. is it possible for that to be like a releaf period? cuz we had a really gd relationship until the last 4months where she drifted away and had enough of everything,

 

were both young and she nos that i am waiting around on her, so do you think because she knows i will be here she hasnt really thought about never being with me again, cuz im summit to fall back on,

 

she told her mum that she would see how she felt in a few weeks n then mabye reignite the relationship then, but so far nuttin,

[PRSOV]

Well you asked, and I was just giving a response based on my experience...

 

Your ex gf needs space, and although she said she originally wanted a few weeks to sort things out... she obviously needs more and you should be supporting that, because it's only going to be you in the end that it really effects. Why are you waiting for her? I understand the concept... A few weeks ago I was in the same situation... actually I still am... A girl I really love wants me to wait for her, but mate the future is never certain nobody can guarentee that you are the one that she will want to have a relationship with when she is ready for that step... enjoy yourself while you are young and if the opportunity arises for the two of you to get back together at a later stage in the future, then reconsider it then.

[ryan1987]

Well you asked, and I was just giving a response based on my experience...

 

yea i appreciate that, im sorry if i sounded arrogant or somthing thanx again for the reply

 

 

anymore anserwers. does it happen??

[PRSOV]

Haha no worries mate, what else do you really want to know?

[ryan1987]

Haha no worries mate, what else do you really want to know?

just CAN it happen, that someone ends a relationship and is happy, only to suffer in a few months or so if they realise that there ex is getting on with things. i gues im just clinching to that possibilty

[PRSOV]

Well I have had one ex gf I guess you could say, I dated her for a month or two... although I realised after a month or two that she just wasn't for me, and it partly was because I wasn't sexually attracted to her or anything.

 

I didn't want to break her heart, but I knew it was for the best. I don't think anyone is usually happy when they break up with their partner... because nobody wants a relationship to fail in the long run no matter how serious it is. I didn't have a happy feeling as such after the break up, it was more just a sigh of relief that it was over... but here I am a year later and she is still trying to win me back

[annie24]

well, if they broke up with you, I'm sure that they may feel a great sense of relief that it is over.

 

why do you think she doesn't have any sorrow at all? maybe she is just not showing it, or it is hidden very deep inside. maybe she doesn't want you to know she is sad at times.

 

furthermore, she knows that you are there for her, anytime she wants, so there's not much to feel sad for her about.

 

were both young and she nos that i am waiting around on her, so do you think because she knows i will be here she hasnt really thought about never being with me again, cuz im summit to fall back on,

 

I think that's the key right there. maybe if started moving on, she may realize what she's missing out on.

[Hunny1607307342]

I'm sure she feels something and just doesn't show it. Because I felt the same way as you when my ex broke up with me, but then I realised; I am pretending I'm all happy and chilled out with everything, and so to him, he can't see any sorrow in me right now, so that lead me to think, then how can I expect to see HIS real emotions if he IS upset a little bit? See? You can't read a closed book.

[ryan1987]

ive just gathered she is happy because her bestfriend is telling me, and when she talkes to me on msn she acts all cute and worry free, i just hope that there is a time when she can really begin to miss me, once her scedule isnt full and she is bored, i really hope she will miss me n get sad over the situation that she is finding happiness in now,

 

im thinking this anology could be accurate but i dont no

 

first few days of a sumer holiday are execlent

bout 2 weeks in its a ball of a time

4 weeks start to think about home but you still have sum fun

6 weeks getting board of camp and activites

8 weeks just wana get home because you miss everyone and you really want to see them,

 

im hoping that these stages could fill out in this break up. im hanging on to it at the moment

[annie24]

I think you need to go no contact. stop talking to her best friend, and stop talking to your ex on MSN. of course she doesn't miss you, you are still there!!!!!!

[Caterina]

She might feel a lot for you, but know that its not going to work.

[ryan1987]

I think you need to go no contact. stop talking to her best friend, and stop talking to your ex on MSN. of course she doesn't miss you, you are still there!!!!!!

i didnt think it would work like that, i thought i would need to be there so she doesnt completely forget about me, should i just disappear compleatly, i told her yday it was the last time i was asking her how she feels and if nuttings changed im moving on, she said no sorry, and i said ok then im gone, she said are we still friends tho, and i said no, she was like y not, and i said it would be to hard for me, she was like ok then, i said ill see how i feel in a couple of months, if ur feelings change you no my number but dnt expect me to be waiting here, she was like oh ok, well ill haf to phone you because youve forgot my num all ready, i said ok bi n that was it,

 

 

i was acting like i wasnt phazed about it but i really really am, i just need her back so much

[annie24]

trust me - it is the way it works. you did the right thing, telling her you can't be her friend. Plenty of people have tried the "friends" route to get an ex back (including me) and it rarely works. moving on though, does seem to get their attention. I had an ex come back to me after 3 years of no contact!!! they don't forget about you so easily.

 

 

 

This is a thread you should read.

 

good luck

[ryan1987]

wow thanks annie i hope it works, i no there is no way of telling the future, but i really feel like were ment to be, i aint ever felt like this for anyone before, i was in love with her before i was even with her, no1 can take that place, thats why ima find it hard without her, she bacme my hole world as did i to her, but i fizzled out sumwhere down the line and her friend became the new figure in her life.

[annie24]

if it's meant to be, it will happen. if it's not, then it's not and you will meet someone better for you.

[NubianLove]

I worry about u, u are so worried about her, u arent taking time to figure urself out. Why will she miss you when she knows if she calls, you'll jump.

It wont work out that way trust me, my ex and I were best friends for 8yrs, together for 6yrs , its been almost 3weeks of NC, does he miss me? I'm sure he does, I was one of the main integral part of his life. But if I have to wrry about what he's doing, ot if he's with her or not, and whats happening, or if stuff isnt working wit them or not, I'll be ruining myself!! I wont be enhacing my growth in any way and I'll be filled with unecessary emotion that can hurt. I like where I'm at right now, I've learned so much these past 3 weeks, I've grown so much spiritually and emotionally. I know I dont need to be with him, I might desire but I dont need. I've no expectations of us being together, while that can be a possibility.

My whole point is that worrying wont get u anywhere, drinking 20 pills wont either. NC is no guarantee that she'll want u back, realize everyone situation is different. NoONE can be your whole world, not even your WIFE!! You're complete b4 u met her and if u expect any 1 person to ever complete you, you'll be disappointed continuously in life. You should be 100% complete and then share that with the other person!!

[ryan1987]

thanks nubian im 3 days into nc now, 3 weeks 3 days since it ended and i aint give her the chance to miss me, could it happen now?

[annie24]

well, during this time, work on healing yourself. if she comes back, don't be so ready to jump back in. she needs to give you a darn good reason for why her feelings have suddenly changed after the breakup.

[ryan1987]

it still feels like were in love, (i no its just because i love her and cant face up to that fact she dnt love me nomor) but its just what i feel, i reli dnt understand why she aint been upset or missed me, thats why i posted this, to see if its possible that she will only realise thing later down the line, i hope sum1 can tell me its possible for that to happen, thanks annie, its just hard to work on myself at the moment, i have such a low level of self respect, that i cannot even begin to try and heal myself, im torn up

[annie24]

It's possible, but not probable. Most people don't get back with their exes. of those that do, they don't last until they have dealt with the issues that caused the breakup in the first place.

 

You are young, 18, you have a life of girls ahead of you. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, try to keep yourself busy.

[ryan1987]

thanks annie, aslong as i can be asured that ther is still hope, i can relax a little, i dont want to think that everything will be gone for good, i just need to no tha fact that i could be back with her, as well as noing i mite not be

[annie24]

well, if it's meant to be, then it will happen.

 

I think to have the best chance at getting her back, you need to be as independent and strong as ever. Be happy, do fun stuff, look good, meet new girls. She is more likely to come back to you if she thinks you are having the time of your life, than if she thinks you are crying in your bedroom every night.

 

But don't just act!!! Actually go out and have fun!!!

[kadvati79]

I prefer the quote "If its going to happen it will happen". Everything I have in my life so far, I got through hard work, focus, commitment, and a little luck. But you have to be realistic, decide what you want in life, and what you are prepared to endure to get it.

 

If she is "the one" then you would endure any pain, perform any feat, basically give your life for that person. Well, the signaled for their happiness that they do not want you in their life right now. Many say they want to be friends, many are being honest.

 

If you really can't move on, find a new way of refocusing your energy. Work on being the survivor rather than the victim. If you must, use your love to fuel you to better yourself. Think "she would want me to be looking after myself", so go to the gym, eat right. "She would want me to be successful", so work hard at work. Its not an ideal way to motivate yourself but its better than nothing.

 

Become who you have to become in order to make her happy, but realise, that in truly committing yourself to that process, you will undergo so much change that you might realise you want something else when you get to the end...