how to tell a child his father isnt his father

[Hope75]

These are really questions you should be asking a doctor.

 

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regardless of how you find out who the father is, I still recommend getting away from your husband and into a safe place before breaking the news if it is not his son. I also strongly recommend you get counseling to work out how you will tell your son and how to handle his feelings afterwards.

[avman]

yes but my 13 yr old is ab positive and i know shes my husbands.

In general that shouldn't be possible. See the table link removed But there is always the possibility of mutation or another anomaly which is why the DNA test is really the way to go.

 

Are you sure you have your husbands blood type right?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I'm trying to find hubbys birth certificate which shows his blood type. but it seems to have disappeared. Asked hubby in general what his was and he doesnt know. but i do remember seeing it one time and was like omg when i saw christophers blood type because it neither matched hubbys or mine.

[lusitana]

If your information is correct, it's possible your husband exhibits the Bombay phenotype, where the protein that holds the ABO antigen on the blood cell is missing so even though his genes are Type B, he appears to be Type O and would explain your AB child. It's a rare condition; heaven help him if he ever needs a blood transplant if this is the case, because even Type O blood will cause a fatal immune reaction.

 

 

But enough science geekery. What are you hoping to accomplish by telling your husband/son all of this besides assuaging your conscience (which, in some circles, could be construed as a selfish reason)?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Just that its come down to that im tired of the lie. I dont know how many times in the recent years i have bit my tongue when i want to blurt out he isnt your damn father when my son goes but dad is this or dad is that. Plus having it stir me in the face every time i look at my son. Plus that I have wanted to tell my sons real father from the beginning. Plus for some unknown reason destiny thinks its time. about a month ago out of the blue i had a dream that i was holding a baby and looked up at my friend and said this is your son. After that i had the strongest urge to find him and let him know before its to late. I keep feeling that something is going to happen big time and unless the truth comes out. It will be to late if i dont say it now.

[melrich]

I keep feeling that something is going to happen big time and unless the truth comes out.

 

That's right, it is too big a secret to not come out eventually.

 

If it turns out you are right about who is the father then I do think you need to make the attempt to put things right despite the fact that it may devastate some lives for a while.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I dont know if its that or what. But its almost as if i dont say it now it will be to late. I hate when i get these feelings because they usually are correct. I have been waiting so impatiently for my friends reply to finding out hes the father. If hes the person i have known for 26 yrs he will be mad but he will understand and hopefully we can think of a way that will benefit everyone. But really i cant think of anything that will ease what is coming.

[sonjam]

MAKE SURE before you drop the bomb. Make very sure you have the FACTS

[Hope75]

Exactly.

 

Don't do anything like this that could absolutely ruin your son and family when you can only guess that your husband is not his biological father.

 

Get the FACTS first, and then seek counseling to figure out how to handle the situation IF he is not your husband's son.