That ''radience'', ya know?

[GirlGreen]

1: ok so there is this really cute guy in one of my classes. I would see him looking at me sometimes too! and then all of a sudden one of my ''friends'' in the class (i am not tooo fond of her just cause shes a * * * * but i guess she can be fun to talk to sometimes) told me, i think that guy is staring at me. now im not mistaken, he stared at me too and he would stare at her as well. anyways he asked to be her friend on myspace and called her over the weekend to hang out and she thinks its really weird, she doesnt even know how he got her number. i go to a big school, and so its just a little weird. anyways hes still really cute to me, and she has a boyfrend, but hes interested in her... I have a low self confidence at times so i would not normally say this, but no affence to her shes not very pretty. so what is it that a lot of guys see in her? how can i get that ''radience''? he still looks at me sometimes but not as much as he looks at her. im jealous, you could say. but not so much cause she doesnt really...enjoy it...i dont think. she has a boyfriend, like i mentioned before. anyways. help?

[sweetheart230]

I can't really say cause I dont know her, but this radiance you're talking about in my experience is nothing more than smiling, being confident and relaxed. Happy, laid back people give off good vibes. That Je ne sais quoi is just more or less being happy and feeling good about yourself.

 

I used to be really shy and have low self esteem. But I get a lot of attention from guys now... even though I'm still shy and not aggressive. My attitude is different. I'm laid back, I smile, and I don't think about it too much. If I want to talk to someone, I talk. If I feel like flirting, I do that. I'm very relaxed in my approach to guys now and they're all over me now.

[robowarrior]

Well your thoughts aren't guy thoughts, maby the guys do think she is pretty. But why are you so low on self confidence, i've had a lot of things in my life but lack of confidence never. You see life is like a boxing game, being afraid of getting hurt is useless because you WILL GET HURT. So might as wel go for gold in your life and punch the hell out of your opponent which is life. In times when no one stands behind you, then at least Love ,believe and support yourself , you've got to do everything in life yourself anyway, including stepping towards this guy and asking him out.

 

Its a win win situation for you, if you ask him out and he says no you can move on with your life, if he says yes, then you got a date.

 

You always miss if you never shoot, my mom would say ' you've already got No, if you ask you might get yes' , at least you won't blame yourself afterwards for not trying.

[BlueWolf]

For us guys, a very strong hint we're interested is if we stare at a girl. Sure, he might find you both interesting (a guy can be attracted to more than one girl) so don't give up hope.

Of course, go ahead and ask him out, before the whole situation turns even more weird and all of a sudden your friend loses her boyfriend and starts dating him. I don't think you can rely on the fact that just because she has a boyfriend everything else is cool. Things can flip real fast.

[GirlGreen]

Yes, i should show him that i am interested. but its hard for me to just, ask him out. and aS MUch as people tell me thats what i should do, it just wont happen. is there any other way that i could go about this? i was thinking about having me and my ''friend'' go over and sit with him some day, and i could just impress him more i guess....or something...i dunno.

 

i would think about telling her that im interested in him because then i believe she would help me out, she would. however the last time i told her about someone in the class i liked she would brag to me when she said hi to him or what not...

 

And about the ''radiance''. im not a sad person or anything, but being bubbly is just not my thing. i smile and laugh when things are funny but im not going to fake being smily. is that the only way i could give off this ''radiance''? i mean im sure it works. i just...dont want to be one of the girls who always seems to annoy me...

[GirlGreen]

im sorry robowarrior. i didnt read your post until now. i really think you put it in good words! i like what you said its something i believe as well. the only set back is that i HAVE had self confidence issues. mostly about my weight. however, im not fat at all and im able to admit that. im tall, im 5'9'' and i hate being consideded ''big'' i always think if i can just be very skinny people might consider me as ''small''.

 

Im getting over my eating issues, however, and your advice makes me think a lot. thank you. im working on being more outgoinig. i mean i think i am pretty outgoing, a lot of times its cause by my self confidence issue because i am attention seeking....but twords people that i worry what they will think about, like cute boys...haha...things get a little harder and my outgoingness(if thats a word) goes away..