Do opposites attract?

[Magic_Monkey]

I know it's a bit of a cliche but does anyone think opposites do attract and can be good?

 

I can be a bit rough around the edges, I'm pretty open minded, I like to go out, like a drink etc. I've a bit of a reputation as a bit of a "hellraiser" and a party animal. The last girl I went out with was very similar to myself. This didn't work out and she's now got a new bloke. To me he seems quite boring (I guess I'm biased a bit cos I do still like the girl) but he's pretty much the opposite of me and I think she's seeing him to kind of settle down a bit (she is 5 years older than me too and the guys her age).

There's this girl at work who I'd say I'm friends with. We talk when we see each other and go out in a group. She's pretty much the opposite of myself, she's very religious, she's had quite a sheltered upbringing, can be quite naive and she's quite straight-laced. Recently I've started being very attracted to her. I don't really know why. Maybe I subconsiously want someone to calm me down, or maybe I want to try and make her a bit more like me. I'm not sure. Anyway, I've no reason to believe that she even likes me that way (as I say we do talk and she invited me to her birthday party so she does like me at least as a friend). We're going out in a big group on Friday so I may try and say something to her then, I'm not sure, I'm not really sure how to go about it either.

 

That's not really important though, I was really just wondering what peoples takes on the opposites attract thing was?

[TheFallenShadow]

Yes, i do believe opposites attract,

 

as the case with my gf and me,

she is the light and i am the shadow.

and we seem to click very well, complimenting each others strengths and weaknesses.

[shes2smart]

Opposites may attract...initially...but unless you've got some basic (but important) things in common, your chances of staying together long-term are greatly diminished.

 

If you don't have the same basic relationship goals and the same general life values, that's going to make things difficult. If you don't like to engage in at least a few of the same activities, that's either going to severely limit how you spend your time together or cause one or both of you to give up things you like to do. If you don't think somewhat alike, you'll have to work even harder than usual to effectively communicate with each other. Both of you will have a lot of explaining to do so the other has a chance at getting where you're coming from, and even then they still might not be able to see your point.

 

Another thing about opposites...those things you initially thought were "cute" or "charming" about someone because they were so unlike you are the very things that tend to fill in the blank in the following sentence over time: "If s/he does ____________________ one more time, I'm going to scream."

 

I've been in relationships where I've had very little in common with my sig. other, and I've been in relationships where my sig. other and I are very similar. The more alike we are, the less arguing, bickering, disagreement, and general difficulty there is over the long haul. I, in fact, married someone who's probably as close to a male version of me as humanly possible. It's the best relationship either of us has ever been involved in.

[shes2smart]

One other point I forgot to mention...

 

Sometimes, on the journey to find out what works for us in a relationship, we need to experience -- first hand -- what doesn't work for us in a relationship. Sometimes what we think will work, and what we think we want is different from what works for us in reality. Knowing what what you DO want can sometimes only be discovered by experiencing what you DON'T want.

 

Relationships with people who are very different from you are a great way to point out things like that to yourself.