I WILL move on, right?

[mystik]

Feeling crappy today... My ex broke up with me two months ago, and I have been pretty much doing okay - sometimes even doing great! But in the last few days, I have been feeling pretty down, and thinking about him a lot. I think maybe because it would have been our anniversary on Saturday too. I haven't dated at all, nor do I have an interest in doing so.

 

My ex has contacted me twice this week, once to apologize for not talking to me after running into each other at a bar (he said because he was drunk and would prefer talking to me when he is sober), and then today to wish me an early birthday. Other than that, it has been pretty strict NC.

 

It is nice that he has messaged me because I was worried that he would just move on and never think of me...but then it also makes me angry/sad because I don't want to have hopes of wishing it meant more. I'm sure he is just doing it to be nice/polite so i'm not going to get my hopes up.

 

I guess I just want some more reassurance that in time, I WILL be fully over him and have a day go by that I won't even think of him at ALL. So any stories about completely getting over your ex, finding someone better, and successfully being able to be just friends with an ex, would be very helpful. Any words of encouragement too I just want to get out of this rut of feeling like crap...

[bobo85]

Sorry to say this but you will NEVER forget your ex. He WAS a big part of your life but now he's not. Take what you have learned in the relationship and improve on yourself and on future relationships.

[Beyondthesea]

I disagree. I've had some pretty serious relationships go down the drain and the pain eventually eases, and you do forget them. The only time I remember them is to think back on something and shake my head.

 

Eventually, the thoughts, questions and worries cease. Eventually you will walk with your head high, not miss him but wish him well, and be more concerned about where your life is heading than what he is doing.

 

I assure you that these hard times will pass, and you'll be much stronger in the end.

[ReadyorNot]

Hey... I was with a guy for 4 years... he broke up with me and I was just devestated.... I went on strict NC about a week later... He was going to start seeing someone else so I couldnt handle that.... 8 months of pain and heartache... It was awful... I missed him so much...

 

One summer day I decided to ask a guy friend to go with me to this local bands concert thingy... it was out in the boonies and I had gone there the year before with my ex.... I knew this year HIS band was playing,.... so I just HAD to go... Well.. the guy I went with started to be nasty with me and he told me to go off and socialize... so I saw this guy.. I had seen him already many times in the hour or so that we were there... he was already pretty tipsy so I decided to say hi... we HIT IT OFF!!!!!! We spent the entire day and night together.... (well we both left at around 3am)..

 

I had gotten his email addy and just emailed him to make sure he got home ok etc etc... he said he was planning on getting it from one of the guys in one of the bands.... but he had to wait till Monday..

 

Anyway, two days later we met for coffee and we spent like every day together from then on.... Its been just about 6 years.... it would have been 6 years exactly on the day of our wedding... but he cancelled it a month ago..... we MIGHT be getting back together but there wont be a big wedding this time though....

[thegirl_00]

the rough times always pass and make u stronger in the end, even though its hard to believe at times when you're feeling completely down. NC is the best thing for you still. You will no matter what get over him in the end even if your not right now.

[FCTex]

August of 2005 was, 1 1/2 years almost exactly since I met this great woman.. August of 2005 was also the day it ended.

 

8 months out of that relationship, I know there's a light at the end.

 

Do I think of my ex? Yes I do..

 

Do I remind myself of her? Certainly.

 

Do I miss her? From time to time, yes.

 

Do I want her back? Who knows, not now., because things happen for a reason. Call it instict, call it karma, call it God working his all knowing power.

 

I'm constantly, daily, reminded of my ex. I stare at her father everyday, 5 days a week for 8 hours on end, and see her pictures in his office.. I even a few times out of the year, have, and will have to swallow the lump in my throat, and see her at work.. I have to hear about her, hear what she's doing..

 

I hate it. But I deal with it. I moved on.. I look at the all the small things that irritate me about my ex, all the things I wish could and would have been better, and how things ARE better now. I'm in another relationship, and while I'm so shaky about a future with someone else, it's honestly IMO, the best healing I've had. I'm constantly reminded of my ex, but as the days go, and the more and more you lay your head on your pillow each night, the less and less you think of the dreadful day that your world came crashing down on you.

 

The more you wake each morning, the more your smile, the things you find that bring joy in your life, the better things will get for you. Go out, go have fun, be yourself, and work on YOUR life, and don't bother wondering if your ex is trying to be nice, or polite, or whats going on.

 

They left us, or you left them, eitheir way, it's over. It's the past, and if you continue to wonder why, and what if, then what if you never move on? What if you never get past this? It was consume your life, and you'll be stuck in a perpetual hell of wondering why.

 

Losing all contact is great, but if you feel like talking to him, will ease it, do it. If you feel like you won't be let down by hearing something(and it's doubtful) then do it.

 

Do what you want, and say what you want. Scream your lungs out, cry your eyes till they are red, beat a pillow, write a paper, read a book.. go out and party, go drink, go celebrate.. Go celebrate your freedom. Be the person you were before you were in that relationship. Be everything you are, but add the things you've learned from your ex.

 

You've made a mark in your ex's life, and vice versa. You won't ever forget them. If you loved them you won't. You'll be able to recall memories from the past, the good times, the bad times, the influences and marks on your mind from the relationship.. But you won't ever wake up every morning missing them. You won't ever care what they are doing anymore because you'll have your life. Your wonderful life, that no one can take away from you.

 

Keep smiling, carry part of your ex with you daily.. Learn from what you were shown, and things you've learned, and use part of your ex's influence on you to snag the other prime catch out there when your ready.

 

Stay strong, it's not easy, but it's not terribly hard, and we all live to tell our stories in the end, and we get to smile and hold the hand of a loved one who can understand that all we were guilt of was loving someone who didn't love back...

[Demond34]

FCTex, I remember you last year going thru your problems and I can see that you definitely have grown.......good for you....i'm glad things are loooking up for you

[mystik]

Thanks for everyone's replies, it's good knowing that I will be better...

 

Thank you so much FCTex .... your post was exactly what I needed to hear...it made me tear up - but in a good hopeful way. I checked your age thinking you must be so much older than me, seeing how wise you seemed..and wow you're the same age. I'm going to print this out and put it beside my bed. You're awesome, thank you.

[FCTex]

Thanks guys. It's still a battle sometimes.. Just the other night I came accross a "craft project" my ex had made me..

 

52 reasons, for 52 to weeks of why I love you.

 

There were 52 cards with a different thing on them of why she loves me..

 

I browsed through it.. It was sad, some a little funny. I smiled. It was fun times, and while the end certainly didn't reflect anything that I once believed in those cards, I still had a reason to smile.

 

She changed me and I changed her.... She thinks of me, the same way, and same frequency that I think of her.. I'm not alone, ever... And I'm moving on, I've MOVED on.

 

I'm strong enough now to hit a speed bump like that, and just keep rolling.. Keep smiling..

 

Mystic, You'll live honey.. Trust me.. Give it time, and cry.. Don't be ashamed to be hurt. Don't hold back.. Live your emotions to the fullest extent.. It only makes you feel better, and in the end you'll start to realize that life IS OKAY, and waking up IS JUST THE SAME.. And you'll notice that when you feel good again, people will feel good about YOU again, and you can have ANY guy out there you want.. It's just that simple. You love, You lose, You live.. It doesn't change.