Freaky Mess

[ufoureah]

My sweety of only 8 months is leaving me. We fell head over heels last Summer and after I got back from a three week trip to Europe, she did not leave my side. We have lots in common, actually I have never been with anyone I have had so much fun with in my life. We have travelled lots in the last 8 months, have been abroad and even need to be in Israel on Fiday for a wedding and a trip of a lifetime. But she flaked out and is not going. We hike, snowshoe, exercise and do lots of things together. Have a great sex life.

She did not want to be without me and I didn't either.

She decided to move into my home with her dog after longe deliberation, talks about how much money we were spending, her paying rent and not being there and she was living in my home anyway. She was renting an apt about 20 miles away, closer in to her work, but she said she preferred living in the suburbs anyway and she loved me.

I have been doted on, loved, just overwhelmingly so to the point where I was kind of sick of it. My 82 year old dad lives with me and since she was sexually molested by her grandfather iam quite surprised that she moved in. Her second GF had her grandfather living with her and she hated it too.

I have been the most supportive partner anyone could ever ask for. Homecooked meals every night, plenty of sex, lots of fun, bills paid, Took us on trips, paid for all spoiled her rotten, activities, support, tolerance and somewhat frustrated and controlling because she acts so weirdly and could never make up her mind about things.

Life happened, she has PTSD after being sexually molested by the maternal Grandfather for 16 years of her life and was on Paxil 30mg. She is professionally successful, extremely attractive, lots of fun.. But I did not know that she was depressed. she started drinking behind my back right before she moved in, mixing with Paxil while she was living in her appartment. She hated living in downtown, would go on walks in the middle of the night and was terribly lonely. So she welcomed living with me and making a life together, we even bought silver rings while we were in Mexico 2 months ago and Iam on her health insurance.

 

After dental surgery about 3 weeks ago and taking too much Ativan (6mg) I caught her with a big bottle of Vodka. She has been physically abusive in that state, emotionally and verbally abusive and she decided she had to go to the postoffice. Yes you guessed it, she was arrested for DUI.

She has been sick about that event since. She has quither Paxil cold turkey.

She has been going thru withdrawal like crazy is abusive, not drinking.. but now she wants to move. she hates me, wants out, is not going to Israel, wants to move back to the city.. we have plans to go camping and hiking and ride her Harley and live life.. what do I do now. she says Iam smothering her, she is loosing her identity. I normally cannot go for an hour and she is calling me on my cellphone.. Now she wants to not hear from me. What do I do? She has rented an appartment and has moved out 2 days ago.

She said she would die on the vine if she stayed in my environment with my routine and she needed her own space. Half of the house is empty now that her stuff is out of it and she realizes now that it was a pretty intregal part of the home.

I decided to let her go, she is unreasonable and can't get it together. I have been her rock and I am dying inside and she has even been back the next day (yesterday to bring bins back and come for a snuggle and lunch.

She now e-mails me and asks if I would like for her to come spend the night on Wednesday night so she can take me to the airport.

Iam so confused, I know we still love each other, she was not willing to live in my house temporarily so that the finances could be easier for both of us. she wants to still be my GF and date. I agree we moved to fast, but could I depend on her?

Weaning off of Paxil coldturkey, from what I am reading makes people crazy and she is great at work, but at home she turns into an immature child who cannot make up her mind.

Do I take her on and be supportive or do I dump her for abandoning on our relationship. I still love her and hope in the future we can try it again.

I have never done anything like this before.

HELP

Sorry for the long post.. Iam not a man in case you were wondering, I hope that does not scew your opinion.

D...

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[melrich]

Hi uforeagh,

 

I think perhaps that moving in together was not a great idea. It sounds like you two had a good thing going until you moved in together. If I were you I'd forget about the finacial aspects of your living arrangements and support her moving out.

 

Back off a bit and take things slowly, see hopw she settles down off the drugs and in her new place. Try and work on getting back the that fun relationship you had before moving in together.

 

During this time I think you also need to consider your compatability. It is easy to be in love with someone and gloss over the compatability issues when you are travelling and doing lots of great activities. Fact is, in a long term relationship and especially when you are living together, 80% of the time will be day to day routines. I think you need to think carefully about hwether or not the two of you can cope with the routine together.

[tyler711]

Back off and support her. The last thing you want is to get strung around and hurt even more, or whacked in the head with a vodka bottle when she's drunk. Let her destroy her own house. Maybe she will get better, maybe not. It's up to you to either leave her completely, or support her as much as you can. Just make sure the end justifies the means.

[ufoureah]

Well she just broke up with me over the phone in her psychotic state. She does not want a relationship with me. Her Paxil withdrawal is making her crazy. I have no clue who she is.

How sad. No contact starts now.. Iam so sad.

D...

[tyler711]

I have some experience with a relative of mine who was on Paxil.

 

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