tylercdurden2004 Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I just got inspired to share with those who are interested the email my now ex GF sent me that started us on the path to being together again. Why am I doing this? Well first, I am not a really private person and dont mind sharing my personal experiences, second its is such a common theme on this web site and something everyone I am sure experiences at some point. Third, if you want someone back this is what you may get as their "proposal" and showing this may help people thnk before hand if this is what they really want and how much they need to have said to them. Lastly, hopefully it will just facilitate people to really think about the issue. We broke up and I went away travelling again we were on extremely lite NC. Just a few emails once in a while saying what we were doing. No feelings etc. We had sent our final thankyous already soon after the break up. This mail was sent the day after she phoned me to wish me happy birthday and we had such a good "lite" convo for 1 1/2 hours. Feel free to ask any questions. And yeah she is german so the english may not be 100% but pretty close. Dear Tyler, It is now 24 hours ago that we said good bye to each other on the telephone. It felt so good to talk to you. When you asked me how I am, I hesitated for a second, I was unsure whether I should be honest to you, or just tell you I am alright and everything is ok. I decided the last possibility might be better, as I didn't have the strength to tell you how I feel, and I also thought it might be better if you have time to read this and time to get a clear mind about it. I feel the need to tell you how I really feel. Not only all those unimportant things about my party life for example, that should give you the impression how much fun I have and how happy I am. But to be honest these impressions aren't true, I feel so bloody unhappy. I have been thinking a lot in the last months and weeks. I am not feeling very well, not to say I am miserable. I feel miserable with the situation, with the relation we have, with the decision I made, to be apart from you physically and mentally, to be out of your life. I think it is so important to let the people you love know how you feel, and that we talk to each other. Otherwise I don't know how to deal with this. Although I know we needed our time away from each other, but it didn't do any good for me, it makes me feel worse every day. I had by far the hardest time of my life in the last weeks. I was going through pain and sadness I never experienced before. Actually I still am. I suddenly start crying in the supermarket, I have rashes all over my body, I can't concenterate on anything, I started eating chocolate in massive dimensions (but don't worry i only gained a little bit of weight . I always thought this will be a period of time I have to go through- a time that will be hard and painful- but it definitely exceeded all my expectations. I had so many friends by my side in the last weeks. They were there for me and helped me to detract a little bit. But every night I come home, every single morning my thoughts circle around you. I wonder how you are, what you do, if you feel the same pain like me. These feelings are so new for me as I never had them before- like all the feelings I experienced with you. I know I am only 21, and maybe it is naive to say that, but I feel so much love for you, and I still have so much hope, that one day we might live our lives together. I miss the talks with you, to hear your voice, to hear what you are doing. I miss you as a part of my life. It happened so much in the last months. Sometimes I felt strong, sometimes I felt weak and alone. During the time we broke up it was so much, and it seemed easier to break up with you and therewith be free and go my own way. But nothing has changed in the last weeks. It made it only worse, to know that I have done a mistake that pushes me more and more away from you. I think the decision to break up had a reason, and I needed it to realise on the one hand that I exist as an individual person (you may laugh now, but it was difficult for me always having a boyfriend by my side) and on the other hand to understand what you really mean to me. I understand if you think now, how stupid I am (sometimes I think the same), but honestly I needed this time on my own to know what you mean to me, to understand that this feeling of love can last. Not that I was ever unsure about my feelings for you, but all my experiences from other relationships showed me, that it only needs time and everything will be ok. But nothing is ok! I feel that this- what was and maybe still is between us- is something so special. When I talk to friends and tell them about us, they say it sounds like the "big love". I dont know if the one big love even exists, but I know that you are the person I could imagine it with. There are so many people who never really loved. People I am talking to and who tell me that this will be better soon and that there are so many nice guys out there. I only want to throw up when I hear this! They don't understand anything! Last week I met a friend I haven't seen for a long time. He asked me how I am and I said "bad". He looked at me an asked me what's wrong, and I said "you know, my heart is full of pain". And then he said "but it is almost three months ago that you broke up with Tyler". I wasn't sure if I should be angry that he didn't understand me, or if I should feel sorry for him, that he never had those feelings, that I have for you. It is weird. Sometimes I wonder why I fell in love with someone who lives on the other side of the world and whose biggest dream is, to travel and see the world, while I am in the process of finding out what I want to do in my life. Why the hell did I not fell in love with the guy from next door? But this is how it is, and I never regreted any single moment that I had with you. I am so thankful that I met you. I know that I hurt you a lot- and believe me, I wish I didn't. I know I can't have any expectations of you. First I push you away from me and now I would like to turn back the clock. But I know this is not possible. I did too much to you, I can't ask you to throw over all your plans. And this is not what I want , but I ask you to tell me how you feel and if you see a chance that we converge again. I can't go on with my life like it is now. I need a response from you, to know where I stand, where we stand, if you can even think of a "we". I know that this is probably not the mail you expected to read from me, and I am sorry that it comes so sudden and unexpected. But I had to write this to you to come along with it somehow. I can't deal with it, without knowing that you don't feel the same for me, like I do for you. Tyler, having lost you feels like having lost a piece of my heart. Even in the last weeks that we haven't really been in contact, my love for you feels so much stronger with every single day. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you. I love you like I never loved anyone before. It is so hard to describe, to find the right words, but i hope you can understand what i am trying to say. With love, XXXXX Link to comment
TheLegend Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 wow..that's...deep. But I have one question, did you ask for her permission to publish this? because it's after all her inner feelings that she opened to *you*. She didn't put this on the newspaper for you to read. Because I know from self experience Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 Yeah I asked after she sent it to me. Just never posted it before. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 4 months. And now I know it definitely wasnt long enough for her to "find" herself. Yeah I am a bit shameful about that part. Oh well lesson learned. Link to comment
Jjasonn28 Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 Very interesting email to say the least. I would have to say that most people in our situation would give anything to receive a letter like that from our former partners.. And in most cases, with haste we would jump back into their arms. Be careful. The ball is in your court. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 Yeah, I would honestly stain my drawers if I got a letter like that from my ex. I love her like I always have, but I would play it like I play a game of chess...I would think hard and calculate my move, then act upon it. Although 4 me it's been slightly longer, and my ex has a new man (at least that's what I hear). Problem with me, is that my ex really didn't take any time 2 get over US...I think it's 'cause she was over US a long time ago anyway. With U, your ex wasn't with anyone, right? If no, then that is good because she has had this time 2 realize what she wants...and by the looks of things, what she wants is definitely YOU. Congrats, man!! -Solo34 Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 Sorry there is a bit of confusion here and I realize I wasnt clear. She sent this 2 years ago. We got together and its recently ended. And yes I did stain my drawers outta fear cause I didnt expect it. Thats something everyone wishing for their ex back needs to be prepared for. Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I don't understand why you posted it really. I mean, obviously she loved you or you wouldn't have been together for two more years. What should people be looking out for in that email? It's just a sweet email from someone that loves someone else. Maybe that's changed now, but it's been a long time... Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I don't understand the reason behind this either. It's like "Hey everyone!! I got an email from my ex and she loves me and wants me back!! Oh by the way, it was sent 2 years ago..." ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? -Solo34 Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 Because this is where NC, taking care of yourself etc. may lead. Simple as that. It may be what you wish for when you break up with someone. There are a lot people who are dealing with uncertainty after a break and maybe dont understand exactly where NC, playing cool etc etc will lead. Well this is where it led for me. Its more for people who have just broken up and have a lot of questions whether they ever will or ever should get back together. So if your past that point move on and read something else. Link to comment
coldheart Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Because this is where NC, taking care of yourself etc. may lead. Simple as that. It may be what you wish for when you break up with someone. There are a lot people who are dealing with uncertainty after a break and maybe dont understand exactly where NC, playing cool etc etc will lead. Well this is where it led for me. Its more for people who have just broken up and have a lot of questions whether they ever will or ever should get back together. So if your past that point move on and read something else. Tyler, taking your thread for what it's worth, I appreciate you sharing a sample of what we all hope to get from NC. May god bless your soul man... -CH Link to comment
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