I cheated

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I don't know. I havn't read many of the replies here, but when I read your post it reminded me of stuff I've done.

 

This is what **I've** learnt from cheating (many, many times..Im a former serial loverat) :

 

If you really love someone, you don't cheat on them. If you cheat, you can't really love someone. thereforeeee, you should examine your relationship with them and probably end it..it can't be completely captivating you if you do things like this. Its never the same afterwards anyway. If you tell your signif other, they will find it damn hard to ever trust you again. If you DONT tell your signif other, youll always have a little guilty secret. And guilty secret=distance, which is damaging anyway. And youll also find it hard to trust yourself to be faithful to this person.

 

When you find someone you really love, you'll be faithful. Alcohol might lower inhibitions, but it can't be held responsible..ultimately, it's down to you.

[djedix]

If you truly love her, and want to be with her still, you should tell her.

 

there should be no secrets

[NW Homey]

Another thing to think about and I mean really think about, not just look at from and intellegent view but from an emotional view, is how would you feel if after an extended amount of time your gf told you she had had an affair at an earlier time. Now, triple the emotion behind it. This is how she will view it later when it either eats at you, as it should, and you tell her or she finds out somehow (much worst on the emotions).

[hisgirl1828]

I know your not looking for a debate on telling her or not but thats pretty much what it comes down to. You have to live with this LIE for however long your with your girlfriend. I think keeping it from her is worse than actually doing it. If your the great guy you say you are(as a boyfriend)she'll eventually forgive you. It could be hard but if ya'll are meant to be she'll forgive you.

As for what to do now?? I suggest you stop drinking that much. And why wasnt your girlfriend with you??make sure your with her at events like that to make sure something like that doesnt happen.

Wether sex happened or not, its still considered not being faithfull to your girlfriend. She deserves the respect of truth. you really should tell her..

[birdgirl]

I've heard people make the argument that it's selfish to tell her. You get to ease your conscience and she gets crushed in the process.

 

If you will NEVER do something like this again and there wasn't any sex, maybe it's best to keep quiet. Also, I'd stay far away from this girl in the future. It's just the right thing to do.

 

Beware, too... now you face the possibility of not being able to trust her. After all, if you can cheat, can't she?

 

I just read one of your replies, where you talked about learning from this. And I think if you quit the binge drinking and make a mental note to walk - no, RUN - from any girl you are attracted to in the future, then maybe you can learn from this and turn it into a positive thing. If you were a flirt before, don't be one anymore. Because that would be hurtful to a girlfriend, if she knew about it. Learn from this and be the kind of partner you would want for yourself. Better to learn by fooling around while you're not married, than to learn the hard way by going all the way and having sex with someone, when you're married and possibly even have kids.

[CamGuy]

You should probably screw a few more girls just to make sure you get it out of your system. Just bring protection. lol.

[yeawutever]

You should probably screw a few more girls just to make sure you get it out of your system. Just bring protection. lol.

 

CamGuy what type of advice is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You nuts,or something, and go screwing random people don't get the guilt out of your system. He has two choices, admitting his mistake or not telling it. And by the way, condoms do break, they don't guaranteed 100% protection. And plz do see how distorted your image is!!!!!!!!!!!! And plz also read the post again, no where does it say he had sex, he mentions he stop it before it lead into it.

[CamGuy]

CamGuy what type of advice is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You nuts,or something, and go screwing random people don't get the guilt out of your system. He has two choices, admitting his mistake or not telling it. And by the way, condoms do break, they don't guaranteed 100% protection. And plz do see how distorted your image is!!!!!!!!!!!! And plz also read the post again, no where does it say he had sex, he mentions he stop it before it lead into it.

 

sarcasm my dear, sarcasm.

[yeawutever]

Well this here for giving advice and not sarcatic comments, that's why people posts here. They ask for help, not commenting how good/bad he/she is.

[heavensent]

I know it was just a mistake and you regret it but people who cheat make me seriously sick to my stomach. She DESERVES to know about this. You are being completely selfish by being afraid to lose her..if she did leave you, it would be your own fault. I understand you are sorry but you shouldn't have put yourself in that situation in the first place. I just don't understand the thinking of people who cheat...they blame it on the circumstance when really they could have avoided it in the first place. Sure I sound really judgemental but this is just a subject I feel really strongly about. If you are going to commit yourself..keep it in your pants!!

[heavensent]

IT'S GOING TO HURT HER MORE IF SHE FINDS OUT LATER..ESPECIALLY FROM SOME OTHER SOURCE OR SOME OTHER WAY. IT ALWAYS COMES OUT!!! TRUST ME ON THIS. IT'S A LOT LESS PAINFUL FOR HER IF YOU ARE UPFRONT AND HONEST WITH HER..LYING IS NOT YOUR SOLUTION. IT MAY PROTECT YOU FOR AWHILE BUT EVENTUALLY IT'S ALL GOING TO BE LAID OUT ON THE TABLE AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK WORSE!!

sorry for the caps lol....I didn't realize it was on. Anyway, she should know adn you should be man enough to tell her. You need to take responsibility for your mistakes.