Slick Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Love and Sex are two very different things, some people say no way, So if you meet the nicest guy/girl in the world who is great, nice, all that good stuff but doesn't have a high sex drive or you don't have a sex drive and they do, then what? Most marrieges break up because of sexual incompetence, but sex is just a pleasure. Do u wake up in the morning and say ok I go to work, wash the laundry and from 7-8 have sex? well nobody gets up like that, sex is a natural urge,it happens randomly,some have it more, some have it less,it isn't something u plan to do So I think sex is a urge or instinct as it manifests itself into behavior and love is a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person, and who ever thinks that they are the same then its time for you to explore the meaning of bother alittle more closer. SLICK Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 They're not necessarily mutually exclusive. Are you sure that most marriages break up because of Sexual Incompetence? I'd like to see the statistics on that. Just because sex is a pleasure, doesn't mean its not important to a relationship. If two people aren't sexually compatible, and yet hold sex being important, the relationship is going to be stressed. Unlike many other aspects of a relationship (like say having hobbies), sex is very closely related to intimacy and love. sex is a urge or instinct as it manifests itself into behavior and love is a feeling of intense desire and attraction Sex is described as the physical act of love. And there are many definitions of love. To one couple, love might be how much sexual desire they have for one another. To another couple, it might be how one partner always does the chores. Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 how can two people be "sexually incompatible"? Link to comment
Tesseract_Witch Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 So I think sex is a urge or instinct as it manifests itself into behavior and love is a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person, and who ever thinks that they are the same then its time for you to explore the meaning of bother alittle more closer. SLICK When does one's sexual impulse, thus the "desire," "manifest" into behavior? Is "desire" not aroused when one adores something--"loves" something? Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I disagree that sex isn't something planned or that it's just impulsive. When you are busy with your own lives, sometimes you have to be realistic, talk things out and make plans to spend time together on certain days. I do think it's possible for two people to not be sexually compatible meaning they don't meet each other's sexual needs/desires but I think if two people love each other and communicate they can improve their sex life. Also, I agree that sex is more than just a pleasure. When it's between people who love each other, it's a very emotional and intimate act. Link to comment
krissbrown Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I think alot of people cheat because they are not sexually turned on by their mate....... Some people marry the nice guy or nice girl for security but have no sexual feeling for them. So they cheat on the side with a sexual being. Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 how can two people be "sexually incompatible"? It's not something that's unheard of. For example: One partner loves to give and recv oral sex, while the other does not like either. Or one partner was raised to believe that sex is dirty, and missionary is the only acceptable position, while the other is more open regarding sex and wants to try different positions. These aren't examples I'm making up either; I was in the first situation, and my best friend was in the 2nd. Link to comment
Frangipani Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 how can two people be "sexually incompatible"? Easily. It's something therapists will tell you time and time again. Not having the same sexual style will evetually cause problems. Say you don't like rough sex and he does, he likes to watch porn and include it in your sex life and you dont, she expects someone to be really noisy when they make love and he is quiet, she likes slow sensual sex and he likes it really fast and quick. They are all sexual incompatibilities. I've been there. I need a romantic lover, someone who takes time and is sensual - and sometimes I haven't had that and it puts me right off. I can't be myself and thereforeeee dont enjoy sex with that person. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Love and Sex are two very different things, some people say no way, So if you meet the nicest guy/girl in the world who is great, nice, all that good stuff but doesn't have a high sex drive or you don't have a sex drive and they do, then what? Its all about how you want to play the situation, personally I would break up with them specifically for the reason that we are sexually incompatible. If sexual incompatibility happens before marriage and kids then thats a bad sign in my book. Sexual incompatibility is something that I am not willing to put up with, others will but I wont. I expect sex to fall off some what over the years but a drastic difference in sex drives is a deal breaker. Link to comment
Slick Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 Like krissbrown said: alot of people cheat because they are not sexually turned on by their mate....... Some people marry the nice guy or nice girl for security but have no sexual feeling for them. So they cheat on the side with a sexual being.................sexual incompetence Some people are with there partner because they love them but are cheating because that partner isn't giving them the sexual fufullment they need/want The people that are happily married chances are one of them is involved in an affair.....but there are some that love one another and are also perfectly sound in bed too But on another note Sex is intimate, Love is to have someone to spend time,talk with and to trust Slick Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 The people that are happily married chances are one of them is involved in an affair.....but there are some that love one another and are also perfectly sound in bed too I disagree with said point. I think if one of them is having an affair, inevitably the affair will be obvious. It's like there is a big elephant in the room and eventually the affair will wear down on the marriage. It's hard to maintain a lie for a very long time. Link to comment
Slick Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 Yes and these is the sexual incompetence, when someone has to go and sleep around to get there sex fafulment even tho they still love there other partner doesn't that mean that there not getting what they want from one and there getting it from the other so wouldn't you say Sex and Love are two different things Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 i think that actually people sleep around because there is a problem in the relationship more so than sexual fulfillment. i think that is much more common, usually when people cheat there are more fundamental compatibility issues going on that deal with personality differences and so on... and ALSO, some people are just HEARTLESS. Link to comment
Slick Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 Yes but mostly they cheat because there Partner isn't good enough in bed............. Slick Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 no, i disagree about that completely. Link to comment
Slick Posted March 19, 2006 Author Share Posted March 19, 2006 Ok, I want hear your complete opinion on this! Give me, in 10 good lines why you disagree about this completely?? Slick Link to comment
jensxcom Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 I know for a fact that some men marry women who are labeled "nice girls" with the knowledge that they will cheat with "very sexual wild women" on the side even before they get married. These men feel uncomofortable getting "dirty with their wives or their wives are not sexual. example- do not give oral or anal, talk dirty ,etc ...They act respectful and nice to their wives, love their wives, just get sex from somewhere else. Its pretty common. Most nice guys arent going to marry the stripper at the bar to bring home to Mom and Dad but they'll do them on the side. Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 well, let's see. i disagree because i think that while new sex is often hot and people get bored in marriages, sex can be kept hot if the relationship is hot. i think that the reason people cheat is that they are fundamentally unhappy with their relationships. i think if you look at some selfhelp books they'd tell you the same thing, cheating is most of the time a Symptom of a relationship problem. People cheat for a lot more reasons than a basic animal instinct kind of sex thing, they cheat cause they are mad at their partner, they feel ignored, they feel like they aren't connecting mentally/emotionally, there is no mystery cause they are always bickering about dishes/chores and so on... i think that marriage has fundamentally changed from the past, we live in a very different and complicated world, there are many forces here that act on the individuals involved. For example, we don't need marriage as much as an economic necessity. Now, female sexuality is more liberated and sex is seen as something pleasurable for women, the dynamic between men and women has always been unbalanced and now we are trying to make it equal. This is all new terrain for us as human beings... Long answer, I'm tired, just got back from dancing, gonna go to bed, but I hope it makes some kind of sense. Link to comment
Slick Posted March 19, 2006 Author Share Posted March 19, 2006 But why are they with that person if they aren't getting there fulifullment of there partner and have to go out and cheat??? Slick Link to comment
jensxcom Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I think venus has her own opinion. Maybe she doesnt know people who cheat for sexual reasons. I have happened to know alot of guys who do that, Link to comment
Slick Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 Ya now thats what i'm talking about right there, well put Slick Link to comment
Slick Posted March 20, 2006 Author Share Posted March 20, 2006 love is an emotion, a feeling you have towards someone, and sex is an act of pleasure... you dont need to love someone to have sex with them, you can go screw any person, but you cant just love anyone, so they are nowhere near the same thing thats why communication is the backbone of a relationship Slick Link to comment
jensxcom Posted March 20, 2006 Share Posted March 20, 2006 I agree with you, its very easy to have sex and have no eotion. Some people have sex as a pastime, hobby like golf or tennis. Link to comment
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