Timing

[sandela]

Is it unreasonable to know at least a month in advance of which weekends my boyfriend and I are going to see each other. I've seen him two weekends in a row which was great. But as to this date I don't know when I will see him next. I know that his weekends with his children aren't are regulated as mine. Sometimes we meet half way if a business trip comes up. The thing is I just dont know and don't get inclings of when. Should I make an issue of this?

[Scout]

If it's a long distance relationship, yes, I think it's reasonable to know this. But if it isn't, no I don't think it's reasonable, and in fact, if my boyfriend wanted me to consistently confirm plans a month in advance, I'd think he was a huge control freak. But, that's just my opinion.

[Goodfun88]

You could just be casual about it and ask him when he'd like to get together again. Then you will have your answer. If he asks why you are asking so soon, just tell him you like to have time to plan ahead. I don't think it would be an issue though.

[Scout]

I like to have some idea of when I'm going to see my boyfriend next. I'm not a big fan of being kept waiting until someone decides THEY want to see me.

 

To the OP, maybe we need a few more details, i.e., how long you've been together, if this is an LDR, etc.

[byates5637]

Definitly need more details. The answer to your question depends on how long you have been together for.

 

I think a month in advance is asking way too much though. Where is there any room to be spontaneous when you have to always have your life scheduled a month in advance? I wouldn't be able to deal with that.

 

I think this would be more reasonable. At the end of the weekend when you are spending time with him, you and him agree on the next time you will see each other. Or better yet, just don't talk about it at all. If you are secure in the relationship, you shouldn't even need to make plans that often. Just expect him to call you, or you call him. You don't need to go through every weekend for the next month making plans.

[sandela]

We met online in the middle of January. I drove two hours or so to meet him (he also had to drive about the same distance to meet me). Everything went - felt like the school girl. Then I saw him again less than a week after that. He drove from Dayton to Ontario on a Sunday afternoon and left a day later. When he left nothing was mentioned when we would meet up the next time. Kind of a weird feeling but I guess you just have to get over it. He does business in Detroit so he works it out that I will come meet him for the evening, stay over and rush like mad to get to work. One weekend (he came down here) was planned. It was great! Then the next weekend I was invited to come down on the Saturday and stay until late Sunday afternoon. Worked out well except for not a word about the next time. So this weekend may or may not be worked in to business in Detroit, otherwise it will be just one night.

We both have kids. We happen to be in sync of when we have our kids on the weekends and when we don't. So after babbling away here what I want in reality is to get together every other weekend. How do you ask something like this when everything is so new? Maybe I am rushing things a bit or expecting too much too soon.