Hang in there...it does get better

[rangerider]

I went through a bad breakup around a year ago. This site gave me much needed support and insight regarding the pain and absolute devastation that one goes through.

All is well now. I wouldn't have thought the hurt would ever go away, but it does. I'll never forget the kind things that were posted to me during the very dark days of that time in my life.

I've come back here to give back maybe a little by saying to those of you with a broken heart and spirit to just persevere and take it one day at a time. You may not believe it now but you will be alright.

I have destroyed the cards,(all the beautiful things that were written), and deleted the pictures from my computer and any other momento's that would remind me of her.

I thought for the longest time that there would be some way to reunite one day because I thought she was the love of my life. That at least we could be "friends" if not lovers.

It doesn't work.

You've heard it a thousand times but it is true... move on.

My life is full now and I can't remember the exact week that I stopped thinking about the ex but I did. The endless obsessisive thoughts day and night finally stopped.

I know someone who feels destroyed in every way because of the ending of a profound and intimate relationship will not be healed by me or anyone else stating that it will one day be better. But in time you will realize this fact. Your life will go on. You WILL get over it. It's a damn shame it has to hurt so long before it gets better, but IT DOES!

IF YOU CONTINUE CONTACT IT ONLY PROLONGS THE PAIN.

There's someone out there that is right for you. If there were enough issues with you're ex that there was a breakup,(that person wasn't THE one). Some couples get back together but usually the things that brought about the initial breakup resurface. This can go on and on for some time. It only reinforces the fact that despite what your heart feels, it wasn't meant to be.

Tomorrow is another day. It will get better!

[Lady Bugg]

Thank you RangeRider.....

 

Point well taken..and I wish you all the best in your new recovery

 

Best wishes to you!!

[Dako]

Thanks for your thoughtful post. It came at the perfect time for me.

After 7 months, I'm suddenly feeling like there's nothng left inside.

You helped.

 

Thank you.

[justmoi]

Great post.

 

Its posts like this that really keep me looking forward and optomistic.

I love reading posts like this!

 

It lets u know your not alone

[deejay74]

thanks for the post. it gives me something to look forward to.

 

it has gotten a little bit better, but i am sure you know, the slowness can be agonizing sometimes.

 

for me, though, it always makes me sad that the person you were so close with and so intimate with is now just another person - a person that you (i) will most likely not speak to again.

 

why does that part hurt so much?

[ehm doubleyou]

I needed to hear that....i had a bit of a set back and i needed to read something like this to help me put my situation in prespective....thanks

 

mw

[jl301]

Thanks for the encouragement and it gives me strength to continue my NC. Yes, I'm hurting deeply inside, but things will look up evenutally for me and everyone that suffering heartache from love.

[rangerider]

thanks for the post. it gives me something to look forward to.

 

it has gotten a little bit better, but i am sure you know, the slowness can be agonizing sometimes.

 

for me, though, it always makes me sad that the person you were so close with and so intimate with is now just another person - a person that you (i) will most likely not speak to again.

 

why does that part hurt so much?

 

Simple answer, it hasn't been long enough for you yet. It's different time frame for everyone. It depends. How long you were together is the biggest factor. I'm not a psycologist but I know there really is something different going on in one's brain during the grieving/healing process. From what I understand it's necessary to go through the various emotional stages before healing and complete closure can take place.

 

I don't know your particular situation but believe me when I tell you the day will come when you won't be sad about never talking to the ex again. You just won't care. There won't be bitterness no matter who broke up with whom. There won't be any remorse or anger.

 

All those emotions fade away. Sure you may think about them from time to time.

But it will just be another memory. Nothing hurtful about it.

 

Hang in there partner. Trust me on this.

 

Best wishes..

[iceberg21]

You know, its funny how you never actually realise that there are a lot of people who go thru the same feelings and things that you deal with after a breakup. I mean, of course I knew it happened to everyone, but reading the things on this site really makes me realise it. lol, reasonably certain that doesn't make much sense, sorry bout it. I only wish I'd known about this site after one particularly bad end to a relationship, but I still managed to get thru it all, and I'm glad I know this site is around if it happens again. In a way, I think that particular breakup was the best thing that could've happened to me, and made me realise a lot about myself, and I know I'm a MUCH better person than I was. Now I'm just rambling, but I honestly do think there are positives to be found in most breakups, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, make no mistake. /end ramble

[rangerider]

I know what you mean. I'm glad I found this site when I needed support. There's alot of caring people in this community here. And I agree that it does make one realise how universal the anguish, sadness and pain involved with a breakup are.

 

Breakups happen for a good reason and after the grieving process is over, one can reflect back at everything and analyze it. Like you state, it often times leads to self improvement and an ability to make wiser choices in the future.

 

Life and love are an ongoing learning process. Hopefully,( as you say), we take something positive with us from the breakup.

 

I wanted to come back here and hopefully help someone with a few thoughts to think about and some words of encouragement. As I said in my original post. It's been about a year give or take a couple months for me since my breakup. I was as miserable as anyone on this board for a long time. I know what a nightmare one goes through. We all think we'll NEVER get over the ex.

 

BUT YOU DO. My wish for everyone hurting from the end of a relationship with a loved one is to stay strong. Because you're going to be alright. But it doesn't happen overnight. Hang in there..

 

If you thought you were in love and happy with the wrong person, just think what it's going to feel like when you find the right person! And believe me, they are out there.

 

Best wishes to everyone.

[passionfox]

thanks for the post. it gives me something to look forward to.

 

it has gotten a little bit better, but i am sure you know, the slowness can be agonizing sometimes.

 

for me, though, it always makes me sad that the person you were so close with and so intimate with is now just another person - a person that you (i) will most likely not speak to again.

 

why does that part hurt so much?

 

It hurts because it's suppose to hurt!

You are a human,you have real feelings,and it was a real

relationship!

The pain tells you that you are a wonderful person to love

so much!!! If you didn't care,something with be grossly wrong.

The good news is that you are a great person to feel the pain,

the sad part is the pain,but in time you will heal and move past it.

Someone else was made for you,and you would have missed out on

them had this not happened!

I thought my pain would never end,but Praises to God,it did after 7

months,and it's been 9 months since we broke up.

I didn't know I could love someone so much,so thats a plus to me

now,knowing that I can love very deeply and feel like that.

Now I am not rushing into relationships. I'll know when I am ready

this time. Pace yourself,and allow yourself to feel this experience,then

you'll see that loving is never a waste no matter what,and use it to

your advantage so next time,you will be more careful and more sure,

and then free to love better.

Take care!!!

[rangerider]

Passionfox,

 

Those are truly words of wisdom. Great post! I'm glad to see your positive attitude! I also didn't know how deeply I could love someone. That's one of the positive things we take from the experience.

I plunged into starting a new business after my breakup. That's a positive result. I met someone special when not even looking. I'm taking it slow. So far there are no games and I get back as much as I give.

 

It's great to hear from people like yourself who've survived a heartbreak and in addition taken away what can make you better and left the rest.

 

God bless!

[rangerider]

Best wishes to everyone. I'm off to the Gatornationals. I hope my post help's give encouragement to anyone who is struggling with heartbreak in some small way.

 

You WILL get past the sadness and pain. It takes time. LISTEN to the heartfelt advice on this forum. You are not alone. It does gets better!

 

 

 

 

Rangerider