emma16 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 So that is basiclly the question. Why can't people go long periods of time without sex?? Because I was with this guy andbrokeit off beucase it was just a sex thing and he said he would give sex up for awhile to prove it wasn't. Well he kept trying with me the past month and I kept turning him down beucase I wanted more of a relationship. So this past weekend he left and slept with someone his brother was with then he wsa with then his brother. The thing is he lied to me about it saying he still didn't fail. And I confronted him and he had nothing to say about it at all just kept silent and I walked away. I personnaly can go along time without sex?? Link to comment
Lonelyinasmalltown Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 You ever hear the line "Sex is like air, it's no big deal until you're not getting it anymore". I don't know if I completely agree with that, but going from having sex all the time to not isn't easy. I know, it's been a while for me... Still doesn't excuse your ex doing what he did. I'm not making an excuse for him, but some people have a genuine problem with sex, they need it like a drug. I know I have a very high sex drive but I don't NEED it like he seems to. Maybe your ex is one of those guys? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 People can go without sex for a long time. It is something that can be done but for most people there is little benefit in doing it. The gratification of being celibate is a sense of accomplishment while the feeling from sex is physically pleasure. It seems to me that most people would choose the physical pleasure. It is pretty simple people cant go without sex for a long time because they dont want to. Link to comment
emma16 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 You are right it is about pleasure. The thing is that our relationship was getting to strictly sex. He said he would prove to me he could go with out sex and I needed him to prove it to me beucase my job takes me out of town for long periods of time. I think what mad him not want to say antything to me was that I had felt he proved himself and before I got to tell him he went and did that. I told him lastnight when I told him about the fact that someone told me what happened the night before. I had to prove myself to him. Beucase women before have hurt him divorce ( wife left for another man) girlfriend 8 years (left for another man). I don't know what to say to him beucase his parents invited me over for dinner tonight and this was before I knew about this.. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Well he kept trying with me the past month and I kept turning him down beucase I wanted more of a relationship. So this past weekend he left and slept with someone his brother was with then he wsa with then his brother. Well I think he's shown his true colors, despite his proclaiming that he would wait. Sex was more important to him, than keeping his word with you. That is a major red flag. The thing is he lied to me about it He also lied right to you. That's another red flag. I do not think dinner with him and his parents is a good idea after all of this. Be truthful and tell him what you know, and that you no longer want to have dinner with him. If we wants to lie to his mother about it like he lied to you, that's his choice. Let him deal with it. BellaDonna Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Well I think it varies..my boyfriend and I didnt have sex for 4 months, not because of relationship problems..just wanted to wait/ had to wait for various reasons. If you care about the person, it shouldnt be too much of a big deal. Icant believe I typed that, sex used to be EVERYTHING to me! Good grief. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I can't say personally... I haven't had sex yet. I think it probably has to do with his personality, he doesn't have very much self-control and passion enters in quickly. I would dump him if I were you because he didn't show himself to be trustworthy or value the relationship (the emotional aspect) enough. But I don't see why it should be such of a big deal to go without a few days/weeks without it. Maybe because I've never had it but.. I think I could handle not having it once experienced. Link to comment
emma16 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 BellaDonna You are very much right it does show his true colors. He is a sex crazed man and he couldn't keep his word. I think I am more upset he went for agirl he know he was gonna get some from beucase his brother had her and he had her. He is bad with relationships, emotionally I mean. He can't talk about feeling and at 38years old I would think he would want something more then just sex with different women. My biggest thing was I didn't and don't think he has any respect for women and if other women want to be stupid and be his botty call then thats fine but I am not going to be used for it. I just wish he would have said something to me after I told him I found out. I have no clue what he was thinking... Link to comment
DN Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 There is no excuse for cheating. Let me say that upfront. But I always find something a little manipulative when someone has sex early in a relationship and then later wants to cut it off to prove it's not all about sex. If you feel like that then I think next time you would be better advised to wait to have sex until you are sure you have the sort of relationship you want. Otherwise, even if you do not mean it it be, it looks very much like a 'bait and switch'. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Because sex to many people is a form of validation that they are attractive and wanted, and in the absense of sex they don't feel attractive and/or wanted/desired. Link to comment
emma16 Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 Iceman26 What you said is most likely true this guys case. He is very self confident and does not approach women in a bar he waits for them to approach him. I know this because I have known him for along time. I never said that I don't except him it's just that every time we go ut we seem to have to have sex. I feel bad though about confronting him and I shouldn't. But then again at this time we are not dating, but he gave me his word then lied to me and I don't know what to say when I see him again which will be tomorrow. I wish he would have said something back when I said that to him. Was he embarressed about the girl or shocked I found out. Did he not want to hurt my feelings, beucase to me some men don't care about hurting feelings. I am nervous about tomorrow. Link to comment
emma16 Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 So I got a phone call last night from the girl that he slept with. Or I guess who knows now, that she has a boyfriend and all he did was come over after bar close to see her new house and they had a smoke together. While they were smoking he started hitting on her and she told him to leave that she has a boyfriend. So she said they didn't sleep together and he said nothing and won't say nothing but I will see him tonight so I can't wait to see how he acts. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 So I got a phone call last night from the girl that he slept with. Or I guess who knows now, that she has a boyfriend and all he did was come over after bar close to see her new house and they had a smoke together. While they were smoking he started hitting on her and she told him to leave that she has a boyfriend. So she said they didn't sleep together and he said nothing and won't say nothing but I will see him tonight so I can't wait to see how he acts. For some reason I don't buy it..... Be cautious, BellaDonna Link to comment
emma16 Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 That is for sure I don't buy it and he hasn't said a word to me about it even though we haven't talked since then or seen each other but we will see each other tonight. We will have to see what happens. Link to comment
petepete Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I didn't want to lose my virginity until I found someone I was in love with and felt I could spend the rest of my life with. I had many women try to seduce me before I lost my virginity at a time of great volnerability including at least one woman who tried to seduce me that I really liked and wanted to get know better. For me I am much more attracted to women for who they are rather than their looks. When I first look at a woman I will go straight to their eyes and nothing else interests me when looking for love peryhaps you should look for this in men if you want to find someone who trulty loves you for you. Many woman seem to be offended when they like me and bend over in front of me and I don't look. You shouldn't do this sort of thing in the first place I think it just attracts people for the wrong reasons. You say that he was in a relationship for 8 years and has also been married. Sounds like he is much older and many men see sex as a conquest espescially with a woman who is younger. I choose to think with my head and my heart and to ignore what my sexual organs tell me. If he truly loved he wouldn't have made the choices that he did. You may still love him and he probably knows this and will try to use this to get what he wants. kick him to the curb unless you want to be hurt more. ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) Good luck with future relationships. Link to comment
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