comppackage Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Ex sent me another email today... it's now a pattern, he has sent one per week for the past three weeks, always on a Wed. Past two weeks were personal ones, and I didn't respond, and today was an email to a group of people to let everyone know about job opportunities at a restaraunt he and a group of friends are opening this spring... Why did he send it to me??? Why would he even bother putting me on the list? Do you think it was an accident... we only broke up a month ago, and I initiated no contact three weeks ago... Is he trying to get me to write back? Does he just want me to not forget him? Any advice would help... I shouldn't respond, right? He wanted a "break", time to think about things, but I broke it off totally. He was going back and forth with me from one day to the next- one day he wanted to be with me, then next day he was unsure, so that's when I told him to stop contacting me. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 don't respond. His e-mails are not worthy of a response. Unless he's saying, "let's get back together" or "let's try again" don't bother. He is disrespecting your wishes of not contacting you. Keep deleting. If he wants you back, he's going to have to come out and say it, not send random e-mails. good luck Link to comment
Blue In Texas Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Don't do what we all do and try to read the hidden code in his emails. If he wants to say something, he'll say it loud and clear. These emails are torture, though. Some people on this board configure their email so that all messages from the ex go right into the junk file. That's what I would do if my ex ever got email happy. Link to comment
comppackage Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 So, you don't think he is trying to get me to respond to him? Is his pride just getting in the way, and is he afraid to admit he may have made a mistake? OR Does he just want to keep me hanging on a string- either to feed his ego or in case he changes his mind?? If I don't respond, then maybe I'll keep wondering???? or am I just being foolish and weak... Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hi there, "Does he just want to keep me hanging on a string- either to feed his ego or in case he changes his mind??" Bingo. That's is what he is doing, so in that case, ignore him and all his futile emails. You are not foolish or weak, you are human and you are hurting. It's ok. Come here often for all the support and encouragment you need. (((hugs))) Link to comment
SteveNaive Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I would not try to read too much into his behaviour. So far, it does not sound like he posted anything to you that would have been worth a reply?! Stop wondering what he is trying to do...maybe it's just that what he wants?! However, if he really wanted something form you, such as getting back together, I think he will say so quite expressly. As long as he does not say so, and just keeps sending emails without any apparent reason, I would not go ahead and try to guess what he's up to. Chances are big he doesn't know either... Link to comment
comppackage Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 it's taking every ounce of me to not respond!!!!!!!!!! Is it so bad if I do? will I only be hurting myself?? Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Yes, I believe you would be hurting yourself if you respond. By responding, you are looking out for his needs and wants and not your own. I know how hard it is NOT to respond. NC, especially in the very beginning is excrutiating and very difficult but as time passes, it will get easier...I promise. You deserve to be with a guy whom knows what he wants and wants to be with YOU and not vacillates on being with you or not being with you. Link to comment
thlst3 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Don't respond. If you do, you'll be waiting for him to respond back... and that's agonizing. You've been doing NC for 3 wks and that's great! He included you in the email to see if you'll respond... don't respond! If he wants to talk then he would email you directly or call you... If he wants you back, he wouldn't email you about job opportunities... My ex emails me from time to time but I don't respond. She emailed me last Thursday and Monday about nonsense. I didn't respond. It sucks cuz I do miss her. The way I look at it... If you read all the post about people breaking NC within 3 - 4 wks, majority are negative. The ex's just wants to be friends and guilt free of breaking our hearts. We (dumpee) just want to move forward. I say... give it time. If he wants you, he'll email again... If he doesn't, at least you're moving forward and not breaking NC. Good luck! Link to comment
chai714 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 It depends on a number of things when making a decision whether to respond or not. One, what do you want from him? Two, are you healed from your breakup? Link to comment
comppackage Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 I want him to say he misses me and that he regrets this... and no, I am not healed yet... far from it... Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Hi there, I am sure he does miss you but it is not enough for him to get his act together. I know how hard it is not wonder how he is doing, what he is thinking and such but that will go away as time goes by. Before you know it, you are not going to care whether or not he misses you. Just take it one day at a time, things will get better....I promise. (((hugs))) Link to comment
comppackage Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 so i shouldn't respons by asking him if he is sending me these emails because he misses me?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 No. He can miss you all he wants, but unless he wants to get back together, blah. Link to comment
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