jealous of girl at school

[n83]

hey i'm glad i found this site

i am very jealous of this girl i go to school with (college)

all my guy friends think she's hot.. she has a bf though

this one guy that i had a "thing" with also thinks she's hot, i can tell. i think he used me for some "experience" but i can tell in my heart he likes her. he goes to school just to see her, i just found out yesterday. although we were never official or anything i think he's a jerk and used me and although we're friends i'm mad as hell at him and i feel stupid. i used to like him and i dont any more so i dont know why i'm so mad, maybe it's cuz i dont want him to be yet another guy who likes her.

 

i've gotten to the point where i hate when she shows up anywhere . i just want her to go away

[Mrocza]

First of all, why are you friends with the creep? Cut him off completely, if he did "use" you, he doesn't deserve to be acknowledged by you. Treat him as a mistake you made and don't want to repeat.

 

As for her...why is she so amazing? So she may be beautiful...a lot of people are beautiful. And being physically "perfect" isn't everything...I mean, as a first impression, sure, but when you get to know the person, beauty only goes so far.

 

I'm sure you have tons of amazing qualities she lacks. I wouldn't beat yourself up over the fact some some loser has a thing for her. Focus less on her and more on you! When you stop comparing yourself and thinking of her as a rival, you'll realize it's all in your head.

[n83]

she's perfect, it's annoying all me and my friend di was kiss, nothing further, but i am supposedly the first persn he ever kissd (this info was from a frined, not him) .. i just wihs guys wou ldlook at me like that too. sometimes i thinkt hey wouldn dat eme becaus i'm not white. mostly seemsl ike all guys thnk the tiny blonde girls are cute.

[sweetheart230]

Honey, I understand where you're coming from. Perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice seeing as I have tons of issues myself, but here it goes (And I'm sorry, I don't have the patience to be anything but stone cold honest with you):

 

This guy is a huge jerk. I know tons and tons of guys like this. Stay away from them and don't let yourself get used for sex or "experience" ever again. There are lots and lots of ppl who will disagree with me, I think friends with benefits is a bad situation for a girl unless she's completely in the right state of mind.. which is not often.

 

He might want her, but he's a jerk. I'd use harsher language, but it'll just be censored. So what if he wants her? If he's that shallow that being hot is the most important trait in dating someone, then he's immature as hell and not someone you want to be with at all. I'm sure you are pretty as well. But there are always going to be hot girls.. and dumb guys who follow them around like puppy dogs just b/c their hot. Let them have her. You should spend your time with guys who aren't that stupid and shallow. Anyone who places that much emphasis on a girl being hot isn't worth your precious time and energy.

 

Third, you shouldn't be jealous. She may be hot, but I'm sure men find you good looking too, and more importantly, you probably have a million wonderful qualities that mean infinately more than how you look. Men see those qualities in the end. Maybe not now, maybe not in year, but the right one WILL see you as beautiful b/c of the qualities you radiate from inside. Its an abstract thought but its true. I know many girls who aren't traditionally beautiful (plain, in fact) but they have boyfriends who think they're gorgeous b/c they are amazing people on the inside. The good people see who you are on the inside, too. The immature guys who just want a hot chick... well they are a waste of time until they mature and realize what is important.

 

Don't waste your energy being jealous. It isn't worth it.

[sweetheart230]

she's perfect, it's annoying all me and my friend di was kiss, nothing further, but i am supposedly the first persn he ever kissd (this info was from a frined, not him) .. i just wihs guys wou ldlook at me like that too. sometimes i thinkt hey wouldn dat eme becaus i'm not white. mostly seemsl ike all guys thnk the tiny blonde girls are cute.

 

Ok, I went through a phase where I wanted to be white and blond and little. I'm asian, with big breasts. you're fine the way you are. maybe guys would look at you the same way if you had confidence in yourself. I found that when I was feeling down about myself and jealous of other girls, I'd hardly get noticed (or maybe just too self absorbed to even see guys noticing me). But When I was confident and happy with msyelf, I coudln't keep them away from me. I know a girl who isn't pretty at all. Like at all. But somehow she thinks she's the hottest thing ever and guys dig her.

[MaddiMyAngel]

With enough makeup, you can transform EVERY face into one of sheer beauty! It's something to work at so stop complaining... and work at it.

[Mrocza]

Perceptions of beauty vary greatly.

 

I mean, sometimes I wish I were skinnier as well (I'm an 'hourglass' now, but I was chubby until I hit puberty) and shorter because I stand out (I was 5'9 by eighth grade...am currently just under 5'11). I used to hate being so tall and big as a kid because I was always teased and never had a boy crushing on me.

 

Now, I've begun to accept myself. I mean, I have some hangups on my body and face as well-who doesn't, but really we're all beautiful in our own way. And not everyone is going to find me beautiful, but some will. If my body begins to bug me too much, I work out. If my hair is blah, I can fix it. I try to focus on the little things and work on them...

 

I don't think theres anything "perfect" about anyone. If you look past the obvious you'll notice even she has flaws.

[mystik]

With enough makeup, you can transform EVERY face into one of sheer beauty! It's something to work at so stop complaining... and work at it.

 

Maddi, how old are you? I've been reading all your posts and they're helping nobody. You're just coming on here to make people feel bad about what they're feeling - something that they can't help. If you don't want to hear about people's problems, don't come on to the site. You do your fair share of complaining about shy, stupid or "weak" people so maybe you should stop complaining and stop being such a hypocrite. Before telling others to change their attitudes, take a closer look at yours.

[n83]

sweetheart230 - thanks for ur response, it really helped

ur right, i get described all the time as "beautiful" .. not hot or gorgeous ora nythin but just "beautiful"...... for some reason tho regardless of that i can't seem to find any1 that's really interested in me

ok i take that back id o have someone but i'm totally not at all interested in him.

 

anwyays the kid i was talkign about called me earlier. i didnt pick up. he shouldnt be surprised if i'm not all buddybuddy w/ him now. thats what he gets for beign a $@#!@!.

[n83]

I'm sure you have tons of amazing qualities she lacks. I wouldn't beat yourself up over the fact some some loser has a thing for her.

 

 

hahaha fairie ur funny thanks

[yeawutever]

Beauty really comes from within, she may be amazing on the outside but horrible if you get to meet her. I would say cut losses with that self absoring jerk who choose her over you, he's not worth it and don't compare yourself to you, it'll make you feel worst.

[RelaxByWater84]

I agree like with the others: Drop the guy. Make your life easier. I had a roommate in college that looked like a real life Barbie Doll™. She was nice but I did get jealous. All the guys were after her even though they knew she was engaged. And none of the guys paid any attention to me when they came into our room except when they needed something thrown away. The one guy I liked here at school only talked to me when asking about her. So I know where you are coming from.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'll be honest and blunt and arrogant.

 

I know from first hand experience that having loads of guys after you is not a recipe for happiness. You feel creeped out and used.

 

Don't focus on guys so much.

[Marylin]

Sweetheart230 said that she had her time where she wanted to be white and blonde and little, and i am white and blonde and little (and pretty), and i spent most of my late teens and early twenties wishing i was asian.