Sometimes not knowing is better then knowing...

[thlst3]

As some of you may know my story, if not... you can look it up.

 

Today's been tough. I haven't talked to my ex in a while. 3 wks of NC and about 1.5 month of very Limited contact. She emailed yesterday and asked how I was doing. She checks my xanga everyday to see if I update it or not. Well, yesterday I forgot to protect my posting and she read it. that's why she emailed me. i didn't respond back to her email.

 

Today, I decided to unblock her on IM and notice her and the guy who cheated on me with came in at the same time (sign in time). I know his IM screen name when we used to date. Anyways, they left work at the same time.

 

I know they're probably hanging out and possibly dating. I know I shouldn't care but I do... I'm human and I have feelings... I'm just sad to see it. Maybe it's better to block their IM and continue strict NC. I know I will and do so tomorrow.

 

I'm venting cuz I have no where to turn. I can't bottle it up cuz it'll just make me more depress.

 

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading.

[DN]

That's why we are here - to vent to. But you are wise to block them Not knowing is better. This will take time but you will get through this and in this case ignorance will help you rather than hinder you.

[Victory]

I hope you feel better...you are not alone. I'm pretty sure my ex left me for someone else too. it feels like a stab in the back and in the heart at the same time. If you want to talk about it, feel free to email me.

[Orlander]

thlst3, I said this in a previous thread and i'll say it here...The FIRST thing I did when I got the email from my ex basically saying she was moving on and wanted NC, was to forward any future emails from her to a different account I did not have access to.

 

I have no idea whether she responded to my follow up email to her or not and I hope I never know.

 

Good luck

[Diggitydave]

The title of this post is the truth my friend. Don't torture yourself and I understand the need to know is overwhelming at times. I myself have rationalized and convinced myself that I just need to know. No you don't. It is one thing to face a fear, it's another to swallow nails on purpose. What you really want to do my friend, is back away, dont' look, don't ask, don't check myspace, im nothing, remove all evidences of their names etc until you feel comfortable enough to add them back on at a later time. I know you probably think that if you JUST knew, then it would give you closure and you'd be able to rest easy. Don't fall for that trick. You will just open your mind up to an entirely new line of questioning that will torture you for days to follow completely negating the idea of healing.

 

I hope you make the right decision.

[thlst3]

Staying strong.

[zavlow66]

Stick to strict NC!. Kindly put her E-mail address to your junk E-mail box. I believe in the saying "Out of sight out of mind." In time you'll find yourself not thinking much about her if not at all. Time is a great healer. It just might take a ton of time but to think of it...that's all that we have...Time!.

[luvagain]

thlst3,

 

I am going throught he same thing and all I can tell you is don't check her AIM, delete it. Resist the temptation of checking up on her. My ex always though link removed was for immature people, now she's got an account where she flaunts her new relationship that she was starting up while she was with me. I personally don't care about myspace, I don't care for an account but when my friends told me about it I was stupid enough to check and what I saw and read broke my heart.

 

Please resist the temptation. Delete or archive all her emails, any correspondance from her. You are just torturing yourself more. I saw the my ex's posting on myspace and I was hurt and till this day I have nightmares about it. I'm tryinh so hard to put her out of my mind and you should be doing the same about your ex.

 

If you find yourself thinking about it or checking up on her ask yourself if this torture is worth it. Some of us have good imaginations which can also be torture because in my case I think about how she is....well let's just say it sucks to think about it.

 

Be strong

 

I've been on NC for almost 3 months and yes it still hurts not to hear her voice but it's a sacrifice I have to make to better myself and get her out of my mind.

[Diggitydave]

3 months. Damn I envy you.

[luvagain]

You can doit too DiggityDave. It just takes will power and pride. Like I said in my last post, " I regret crying in begging for her not to end it." After a while you start to think about how you acted and how vulnerable you became. That and the fact that she went behind my back reinforces the NC. But, yes, I do miss her everyday till this day.

 

I haven't spoken to my ex in 3 months. Do you think ex's think about you even if they are in a new relationship? Do they have those urges to contact you? I don't want ot think about her but I do and I find myself talking me out of thinking about her.

 

She and I have been in NC for 3 months which says to me that she is moved and and I'm in the healing process. My life right now is a dark hole. I thik hearing her voice would be nice but I'll take my chances and not contact her even though she has contacted me.

[luvagain]

To be honest with you, I wish to keep NC for years to come. I can't see her in the eyes after what she did. Secretly, however; I want to hear her voice.

[whatif]

I finally witnessed my worst nightmare on Saturday night. I went to Barnes & Nobles to study, the place we used to hang out all the time, and saw her car parked there. I was hoping to see her and talk to her but didn't look for her. I sat in Caffe and started studying. I was nervous and looking around for a while. Guess what I saw after a while, the guy who used to talk to her and caused the break up walked right by me. I had a heart attack but he doesn't really know me or recognize me. After an hour, I saw them walking out the place together, and I couldn't restrain myself from going to the side and look through the window. She got into her car, sat on the driver seat, he is standing outside, chitchatting, and next thing you know he goes around and got into her car. Just like we used to do. She pulled out the car and parked a little farther in the same parking lot where not a lot of people walk by. Just like we used to do. You can only imagine what happened after that. I am sure it would be just like what we did. I felt horrible and once again lost my sleep that night. But now, now I am feeling a sense of closure and I am no longer hoping for her phone calls, texts, or emails. I think less of her and feel angry. I think in my case, it is helping me to move on.