still no call :(

[Ms Omaniac]

he didnt call me again. or email me. or text me. i feel so used. if he cared at all....he would still contact me. i cant believe i planned my whole future over someone who could care so little about me. i cant believe i paid 4 grand to be certified as a teacher to live near him. i cant believe he didnt appreciate the fact i would have left all my family and friends just to be near him. it's only been 2 days of nc and im dying. i havent been to work. i havent eaten in days. i cant stop drinking. im so pathetic. i cant stop crying. one of the few things in life that i love is that show "lost"...and i didnt have the energy to even just see that. im so unattractive now. and damn does my heart keep aching.

[SilverCloud]

he didnt call me again. or email me. or text me. i feel so used. if he cared at all....he would still contact me. i cant believe i planned my whole future over someone who could care so little about me. i cant believe i paid 4 grand to be certified as a teacher to live near him. i cant believe he didnt appreciate the fact i would have left all my family and friends just to be near him. it's only been 2 days of nc and im dying. i havent been to work. i havent eaten in days. i cant stop drinking. im so pathetic. i cant stop crying. and damn does my heart keep aching.

 

 

You need to realise that by not taking care of you, you are actually loosing more over a worthless a**. I know how it feels i gave everything for my ex, at one point even my family. But in the end a jerk is a jerk you cant change them but only realise do you really want to loose the left over good over him.

Do you really want in the future to loose your job, do you really want to be called a crazy person by a jerk. I would tell you to realise what one of my ex's and my mutual friend told me after the break up....

 

'The man(my ex) is a dog, treat him as such'

 

This friend did me a favor when i was to blindly in love with my ex to realize how true that was.. Get up and dont loose more over him, what is lost is lost but dont loose more over him ....HE IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!

[Ms Omaniac]

youre right...and i keep telling myself that. i started to date him 2 weeks before his divorce and i think i just helped him get over it and then he tossed me aside. i tell myself i can do better. but im still so stuck. i stare at this one razor blade all day and say aw to hell with it...just do it. but then i say youre worth it...just get up. but i cant. im so pathetic that i dont blame him for leaving.

[SilverCloud]

youre right...and i keep telling myself that. i started to date him 2 weeks before his divorce and i think i just helped him get over it and then he tossed me aside. i tell myself i can do better. but im still so stuck. i stare at this one razor blade all day and say aw to hell with it...just do it. but then i say youre worth it...just get up. but i cant. im so pathetic that i dont blame him for leaving.

 

There are many men like that who use a woman emotionally to boost their ego... not all men are like that but unfortunately every woman comes accross one atleast once in their life... take it as the bad that was in your life, and learn what the next guy should have, which he did not...

 

I am not saying you are going to stop loving him in an instant... I did stop loving my ex even though i know he has slept around a lot after me to get over and he probably did otherwise i would have heard from him.

 

What ever the case yesterday i had my review at work for last year and i meet expectations but my boss right before i was dont with the review asked if there was a reason for my work efficiency to be soo unpredictable in the last year. He said that was not soo before but was in the year for review. Last year was the year where i had a lot of emotional termoil due to my ex. Anyway long story short when i got out of the review i realised my ex is gone and i am still letting him effect my future.

 

If i would have lost my job right now do you really think missing the ex would have been a good thing? So yes i decided that i am a strong woman and i need to let my survivor instincts come out and learn to miss him in the background...and not give ex the power to feel an ego boost someday that 'hahaha i got her soo good, she was lost without me, even lost her job'. Do you really think a man who loves you will find pleasure when you are in pain?

 

Do you think that you deserve less love and care then the love and care you were giving him?

 

If he was sooo great his ex wife wouldnt have left him(not true for all divorced guy, sometimes it just doesnt work, but with the others this is true)... I honestly believe that for my ex too... he claimed that his ex wife cheated on him.. after dealing with him i realize that he is a lot to blame for the divorce cause he mentally drained his ex-wife to the point where she went on drugs? You actually think that if she was on drugs before they got married, he would have actually married her?

 

Soo sweety, he is a bucket full of S***... yes you fell for him but he is not worth giving your life for...

[RayKay]

Oh man and Lost was SOOOO good last night too Ms Omaniac! Lot's of "weird stuff" (all of Lost is kinda weird) was revealed!

 

I know it hurts, but this experiences does not mean you should start doubting the fact you cared. You SHOULD care about someone when you are with them, unfortunately this was not the one whom was ready to appreciate that.

 

You must absolutely STOP drinking...alcohol is a depressant and will only make you feel worse and more wrapped up in your pain. Not good.

 

You need to start living for you, planning your future around YOU.

 

I know it is little consolation but at least you had not already moved and then been told honey.

[NR498E]

I know that feeling.I can really sympathize with you.Unforunatley all I can tell you is it will get better.When my ex left me I had to force myself to eat.I got a new drivers licencse like 2 weeks later and on it my face look's like a skeleton.

People are going to tell you, you need to do this and you need to do that.I say do what you have to do.Your intitled to be a disaster for awhile.

The best advice I can give you is stay NC and try and eat someting.I ate soup because it was all I could digest.Diareaha and digest problems are also side effects of a brokenheart.

Be easy on yourself Omaniac.Remember crying is a good thing and that what goes around comes around.When truly unfair things happen to us god pays us back double.

I'm hear for you....

[SilverCloud]

what goes around comes around.When truly unfair things happen to us god pays us back double.

 

That is really sweet... but i still wonder how true it is. .. I guess i tend to loose faith on God when i hurt...not that i would wish the pain that i feel on anyone else but when i get angry i truly wish that this was true...

 

andy_stone, i agree with 'I say do what you have to do.Your intitled to be a disaster for awhile.' but i would still remind her to be careful not to let the present effect the future.

 

Someone at one of these forum said 'emotions are not a tap that we can turn on or off, so let your emotions flow'

[no_bad_news]

I think you have to take every day and just think about that...I broke my NC and feel like crap...but tomorrow I might ffel better....I am sure your ex wasn't everything you wanted...Like my ex..we tend to put them on a pedastool...but their are always signs....things that you thought were strange about him but ignored...I know my ex wasn't fulfilling me ...and I am afraid to move on...but you can't live like this forever...it gets you no where but feeling worse....I have been sad for 4 months....and it is a stuggle everyday....but somewhere deep dpwn I know I will find someone and it won't be such a stuggle like it was with my ex....I think counseling is the way to go..especially if you are drinking and staring at razor blades

[shamus]

ms O

 

we all share your pain.

as andy said "you are entitled to a disaster or 2"

 

but at the same time, you have to remember that you were fine before you met him, you will be fine.

 

I've really leaned on my friends for support. i've been out either partying with them or hanging out every night for the past 2 weeks. it still hurts, and i hope she calls, but i know it isnt going to happen.

i went on a date last night and hated it. I could only think of my ex, how pretty she was, how i miss her, if only she would call. i sat there with this other girl and shared many uncomfortable silences. I never had that with my ex, ever. she was the only woman i ever truly enjoyed that with, that special connection, and i feel i may never recapture that.

at the same time, she wasnt ready to truly give her heart out and accept my love. she had gotten out of a 5 year marriage and started dating me about 8 months later. i think i was the rebound, and in her fear that things would be the same as they were with her hubby(after a year their relationship fizzled for many reasons) and that she was afraid i'd do the same.

 

a quote comes to mind "no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them"

 

believe me it is hard, i am going through the same thing. i miss her so much, but know that she will not call. i had broken NC and i felt even worse afterwards. its like an addict getting their fix, for a brief moment, you feel better, but when they dont respond, the high is gone and you feel worse, sucked deeper into the addiction. i cant contact her. several times ive had the phone in my hand, but it is easier not call. I have a network of friends i call or text to keep me strong. lean on your friends. they know my situation, and i just tell them i'm having a weak moment.

 

stop drinking. get to the gym. its hard to motivate yourself but once you start, you will feel better and look better as well. i lost a lot of weight in my depression. it not good, but now i can eat, and i dont go through my days like a zombie, but i still hurt.

 

I will always love my ex. despite all our garbage, she was still special to me and meant the world to me. i truly wanted to make it work, i just dont think she was truly ready.

 

i hurt knowing that she is pursuing other interests. so i try to do the same, but its just not there. i feel no one will compare to her, and miss her so much. but i do look forward to my life and my future.

remember, you have hit rock bottom it seems...you can only go up from there.

 

you have some suicidal thoughts in your head, mentioning a razor blade. please seek a therapist or a counselor. the most important person in your life is you! no one can take who you are away from you.

 

you are in my thoughts. feel free to post her or pm anyone on here. i've done that with a few people and made some friends.

[dnl940]

Try this book... Mars and Venus, Starting Over... you really sound like you need to talk to a counselor right now since suicide is entering your mind, but if you're not ready for that spend your time reading a book like this, instead of thinking about your ex. Right now you're feeling the pain of loss, and you need to get to the point where you can begin to see what you can gain from this. Your sense of self has been imagined as you and your ex until recently and you need to gain some perspective as to what it means to just be yourself again. Read this book, talk to your friends, and talk to a counselor. You'll get through this. We all know you can.

[smallworld]

* Hugs Ms Omniac. You're not pathetic. You're hurting and you have every right to feel as you do. One of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn (and relearn!) is that our self-worth can not be determined by what someone else does or doesn't do. In fact to me his selfishness and lack of response says more to about me about him than it would ever tell me about you... No one deserves to be treated as you have and the fact that he would mistreat a friend, nevertheless a woman who loves him as deeply as you have, says that this man isn't worth the tears that you're shedding. If he's not calling, emailing, or texting, it's probably because he's a coward and knows that after all you've done for him, he doesn't deserve to be a part of your life.

 

If you don't feel like doing anything right now, it's understandable, but please be kind to yourself. Eat a little. Take a bubble bath. Listen to some music. Read. Rent a movie. Get some sun. Nap. Whatever makes you feel better. Take care of the body and the mind will soon follow...

 

Last but not least, write out a list of everything you love about yourself... your strengths, what makes you beautiful inside and out, and the things you're proud to have accomplished in this lifetime. Get angry enough to realize you're the one that you want and that any man who is stupid enough to walk away from someone who loves as deeply as you is the one missing out... on YOU.

 

PS. One question: When you were together how well was he meeting your needs???